Their cause looked hopeless.
===========
"Ah, mousier Ranma and ze always lovely miss Ranko, thank you for liberating me from ze enemies of love." A strange, mostly black-furred alien Jedi walked out of the shuttle at Alderaan's private palace shuttle dock, clasping his two friends about their knees and sobbing emotionally.
Ranma's voice comes through muffled by the toxic filter mask he was wearing against the alien's involuntary fumes. "Pepe, I thought you were training under my mother's instruction on chasing after your true love?"
His information on their mother was why Shampoo had sent him on.
"Ah, yes you are right mousier, after chasing my loves throughout the Galaxy I, Pepe Le Pu, sought your lovely mother's guidance in ze chase and by observing her chase of her true love, Obi Wah, I became dedicated to helping her find her true love. And thus, I set off on my own to help search for him, but alas I have found him not. Woe is me, I ze defender of love was captured by ze enemy."
A sweat drop rolled down every other person's head while Pepe was telling his story. "Look Pepe, were and when did you last see mom?"
"Three days ago chasing after a man in a robe, wearing a lightsaber, and yelling he's not the man she's looking for. Why iz zis so?"
"He had to have some information that might lead her to Obi-Wan." Ranko concluded, her own face mask preventing her expression from showing through.
===========
An orange spacecraft with a spray of green sensor rods surrounding its aft engine at the wide end of the spacecraft's rounded cone whizzed through the depths of a starfield carrying a highly illegal yet profitable cargo past an Imperial blockade.
On its side was splashed the vessel's name: Millennial Carrot.
The Moff of this sector had outlawed the dreadful spice Carrot Juice, useful only to a small, relatively unknown species called Bunnies on the planet Warner (one out of a veritable horn of plenty of aliens native there) but of such utility to that species that it rendered those aliens and a bubble of space around them utterly immune to the effects of high energy weapons for a short period of time.
You cannot enforce Imperial Law if the populace can laugh at turbolasers and blasters (even vibroweapons were sufficiently powered to be blocked, and if the bunnies were all well juiced their planet could take hits from a Death Star and shrug them off), so the spice had been rendered Class-1 AAA illegal, access so restricted not even Imperial researchers could obtain it without being on a top secret research team so highly placed that they more or less ignored laws because of the Emperor's whim.
Getting up off of a rest cycle, the owner and pilot came in to the transparasteel canopied cockpit and greeted his copilot. "(crunch, crunch) Nyah. What's up, Duck?"
The black feathered, orange beaked alien responded with a lisp. "Thossssse Imperialsss have got their sssssenorsss all the wrong way. It'sssss sssmooth sssssailing from here on in."
The captain stood thoughtfully gazing out the viewport at the blackness beyond. "Mmmm, I wonder what Elmer is doing nowadays."
===========
(Distinctive heavy breathing)
"Elmer, what have you discovered regarding those Jedi?"
Elmer hurriedly flipped around to hide his heart-covered white boxers behind the newspaper he was holding. A hint of the magazine cover he was using the newspaper to hide slid down, revealing the title.
"Field and Stream."
"Awwuhuhuh..." Elmer blushed bright red, rubbing his legs together nervously. "Vadew, siw, I didn't heaw you come in."
"Never mind that now." Vader pointed an accusatory finger at the much smaller man. "The Emperor is not a patient man, he demands constant reports, and you have reported nothing."
Chief Inspector Fudd thought guilty of the huge stack of work piling up on his desk while he'd been catching up on his soap operas and recreational reading. He drew himself as straight and tall as his short height allowed. "You may tell him, siw, that the Jedi awe dead." He intoned in all seriousness. "I have vewified this pewsonally."
"Good." Vader's tone was less sharp than usual with under-officers, both liking and trusting his oldest friend. "I shall so inform him."
With a swirl of black cape he was gone.
Elmer began to think of taking a business trip off Coruscant soon, like, right away. Vader would not probe his old friend's mind, but the Emperor would. He grabbed a stack of files and made a beeline for his cruiser, intending to get out and stay gone for a while.
So fast was he in making his escape the police cruiser was jumping to hyperspace just as Darth Vader entered the Emperor's throne room carrying the news.
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(Posted Thu, 29 Apr 2004 22:01)
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