Ranma looked around briefly, then down. "Uhm, ya talkin' to me?"
The wizened little figure, a creature maybe two feet tall and mainly concealed in a brown hooded robe, nodded. Only its nose, an enormous (relatively) schnozz stuck out of that hood enough that it could be seen. "Yes yes. This way. Come come."
Ranma glanced around then followed the little fellow to a clear pool. Apparently most of the party-goers had gone back to previous conversations or were interested in some detail or another of "Senshi Empowerment" and discussing that.
"Here here. Yes yes. You curious, is so?" The critter stood next to a bird bath and began searching its robes.
"Yeah, ya could say that," said Ranma. "You're talking about the new Amazon chicks, right?"
"Yes, yes," agreed the little creature. Finally it found some ceramic vial and poured a little into the surface of the birdbath's water which immediately smoked up. "See. Heironymouse has answers if only people ask right questions."
"Uh huh," said Ranma, looking into the mists and seeing images.
Ranma-chan looked up, having once again followed his (currently her) father's lead and about to suffer the consequences thereof. "So if I beat you, you ain't got no problem right?"
The Guide began translating.
Another girl stepped up and began yelling something.
"She say first girl too hasty, she say she would win tournament, so she no have say yet," translated the Guide.
The first girl snarled and said something that didn't sound too polite.
"She say something Guide no translate," said a wide eyed Guide. "Such language from one so young. Aiyah."
Another girl exclaimed something and glomped the first girl, saying something and rubbing her head against the first girl's breasts.
"Look, if she wants to be alone," said a blushing Ranma, "we can fight later."
The Guide helpfully translated. The first girl gave Ranma a Glare Of Incipient Violence and attempted to peel the third girl off of her. The second girl laughed and said something.
"She say that Akane, she first girl, should just accept fate and take off with Azusa, that third girl. Then she, is name Haruka, will just take Tournament and not have to hurt Akane. That what she say."
Ranma watched the angry glow flickering into place around this 'Akane' girl. "Look, I can see she's busy."
Akane burst out of the glomp and brought a foot down on one of the table's benches. A large bowl of fruit on that same bench flew up and slammed into various Amazons in the crowd.
As the crowd grew very unfriendly, the Guide helpfully translated various comments about the unhappiness of the members of the crowd now wearing fruit salad.
Resulting in Ranma and Genma being run out of the village, being chased by Akane, who was being chased by Haruka and Azusa, who were being chased by most of the village.
"That didn't go well at all," stated Ranma.
"Gets worse it did," said Heironymouse. "See see."
The mists changed and swirled.
Ranma-chan gasped for breath, sitting down at the table. A panda sat down across from her and looked over a menu.
"You die!" yelled an Amazon, leaping down from a rooftop to mallet-strike the redhaired Outsider wench.
Ranma swung up in a handstand, her feet striking the attacker's face. The mallet fell. The Amazon fell.
Another Amazon came running up, tied the attacker up in pink ribbons while she was unconscious, and said something as she ran off with her prize.
"Think maybe we ought to get moving again, Pop," said Ranma to the panda.
"Growfle," said the panda, realizing the menu was in Chinese and he still couldn't read it.
"Well," said Ranma. "At least there was no Kiss Of Death or nothin'."
"Not that time, no no no," agreed Heironymouse.
A dusty trail with thick underbrush.
Jump up from bush. "DIE!"
Duck. Boot to da head.
(change)
"DIE!" yelled a girl as she hefted a boulder over her head and prepared to throw it on the girl and her panda.
"AKANE!" (GLOMP!)
(CRASH!)
"That looked like it hurt, you okay?" asked the redhaired girl to the arms and legs sticking out from under the boulder.
"...stupid Azusa..."
(change)
"THIS TIME YOU DIE!" yelled a now familiar Amazon, charging forward as she prepared to use a yo-yo of doom!
(tangle, trip, tie, roll, tangle more)
Ranma-chan looked down at the tied up girl with the yo-yo. "You're not supposed to use it like that you know."
"Grrrrrrrr," growled the tied up girl.
(change)
"THIS TIME IS SURE!" yelled the Amazon, springing out from a barrel and attacking the redhaired trollop.
Ranma dodged and lashed out with a kick. Akane fell down in the street. Azusa came running up, picked up the stunned Akane, and ran off with her. A scream of rage could be heard from that direction a minute later.
"What's her beef, anyway?" Ranma asked the panda.
(change)
The Amazon leapt from another barrel. "NOW HAVE..." she realized that the barrel was on a boat and she'd just leapt in the wrong direction. "you?!" (SPLASH!)
"That girl has some serious issues," said Ranma-chan, watching the girl flailing about in the water. Then submerge and leave a wake of bubbles. "Aw no. Don't tell me she can't swim!"
Ranma leapt into the water, saw the girl drifting, pulled her up, swam back to the boat, and began getting the water out of her. "Damn, she's heavy."
"Growf."
"Ya could help, ya know!"
"Growfle," responded Genma, shaking his head. Foolishness of youth.
The young Amazon came to slowly, her eyes focussing on the target briefly as she coughed up a little more water and then brought her eyes up to stare at her target. Her fingers briefly touched her lips.
"What the heck's your problem anyway?" Ranma dodged back as the girl swung at her until Ranma was standing well away from her, then ran along the boat to the prow, leapt from boat to the shore, slipped in the mud, then came off and ran away.
"I still don't get it," said Ranma.
(change)
A hot springs resort. Ranma-chan made a big show of looking behind some decorative jars as if she expected a strange Amazon to leap out and interrupt her bath.
Akane crept closer along the roof, bringing her fingers up to touch her lips, wondering again if she had been kissed by that masher. Hardly her first kiss, she had been smooched repeatedly by Azusa over the years. Still, that hardly counted - did it?
There was that redhaired trollop! She wasn't sure what to do though. Maybe, despite not being a member of the tribe or one of those short-skirt girls with the Princess, they could be friends?
The girl waded into the water and turned into a boy.
"Aaaaaaa!" said an Amazon as she fell off the roof and into the water.
Ranma watched the Amazon get up, look him over again. Then she screamed and ran off, going THROUGH a wall as she did so.
"I still don't get it," said Ranma.
"I don't understand," said Ranma.
"You will, yes yes," said Heironymouse.
"She ain't given me the Kiss Of Death or nothin'," said Ranma aloud as he tried to figure it out.
"She joined her other associates and went to Japan after some additional training in order to join Sailor Moon as a guard. Whenever she is given a day off she usually goes after you and tries to defeat you," said another voice.
"Oh, you're that Thor guy, ain't ya?" Ranma recognized the redhead from earlier.
"Yes," agreed the Thunderer. "Sailor Moon has four Amazon bodyguards, proper warriors instead of practicing silly manuevers. Well, except for Azusa. The basic thing is that Akane has a grudge (or something) against you. Azusa is devoted to Akane and alternately wants to tie you up as a present for Akane or defeat you and gain Akane's affection."
"That last part sounds familiar," groaned Ranma.
"You also defeated Haruka and Michiru when they were called in as reinforcements. You've repeatedly beaten Azusa as well. This, however, is the first time you've met the Sailor Senshi themselves. You mainly stick to Nerima and martial arts battles, while they stick to Juuban for the most part and fights against Monsters From Beyond." Thor watched Azusa trying to braid Akane's hair and being bodyslammed for it. "So how you react to them will determine whether you are considered an enemy, a potential ally, or if one of the Senshi will be following you around with hearts in her eyes."
"Gakk," said Ranma.
Heironymouse tittered. "That bad you think? Look at this!"
Ranma winced, looking into the mist and seeing:
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(Posted Mon, 24 May 2004 10:13)
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