Spellbook?!: So You Want To Be A Wizard [Episode 10388]

by Essex

Ranma Saotome is something of an object lesson in polarized opposites. Even setting aside his hermaphromorphic Jusenkyo curse, he is alternately strong and weak, confident and insecure, arrogant and...well, okay, so he's pretty darn arrogant. Let's leave it at that. Anyway, one thing that anyone who has ever even casually known him is likely to agree on (other than his aforementioned arrogance), is that Ranma isn't particularly bright (those who know Ranma better than casually would likely go on to unabashedly proclaim him to be dumber than a bag of bricks).

They'd be wrong.

An astute and uninterested observer (of which there are a dearth in Nerima) may look deeper and wonder how someone as supposedly stupid as Ranma could come up with the bizarre yet effective tactics which consistently enable him to defeat more powerful opponents while fighting under adverse conditions. Some might simply shrug and chalk it up to some form of idiot savant capacity for martial arts. Others might blame some type of brain damage resulting from years of innane and dangerous training at the fists of his father. Still more would likely point to a checkered education and home life which likely discourages academic persuits to argue that Ranma is not actually stupid, merely ignorant.

The final group is partially right. While life on the road had in fact lead to him lagging on his studies and the "values" foisted upon him by his father had left Ranma somewhat disdainful of schooling in general, the true source of his intellectual difficulties was that Ranma Soatome was secretly dyslexic. The sheer frustration of attempting to read as the words in his schoolbooks twisted and flowed in front of him, combined with the hellish complexity of the multiple forms of written Japanese, left a young Ranma surly and combative in class. After several humiliating incidents in which he stuttered his way through reading assignments while his classmates laughed, he'd simply begun refusing the assignments and accepted bucket duty in the hall as the lesser of two evils. Given his attitude and school record, which by this point read like a travel brochure of the Japanese islands, his teachers might be forgiven for simply dismissing him a troublemaker.

So, you may ask, how exactly does all of this relate to a certain spellbook which is currently in the possession of the aforementioned Ranma Saotome?

Easy.

You see, the very same sense of humiliation which had originally lead to Ranma's refusal to do his assignments while actually at school drove him to relentlessly perform the same work while alone (usually after his father had gone to bed at night, thereby also explaining why Ranma seemed to spend so much time sleeping in class). The sheer focus that Ranma brought to bear as he ground his way through page after page of words that seemed to shift and rearrange themselves as he memorized them for the inevitable tests (which he'd barely pass because he could seldom complete them in the allotted time) had coincidentally provided an ideal foundation for reading a spellbook; the words of which naturally writhed and wriggled about on the page.

Add to this his deceptively high intelligence, a necessity for any competent wizard, and Ranma actually had the makings of a powerful mage.

Even more importantly (at least to Ranma), the spellbook placed a heavy emphasis on abjuration spells. Such mystic gems as Endure Elements ("Can't wait to see how the old perv reacts the next time he thrown those damn bombs of his"), Protection From Arrows ("Ain't gonna have no more problems with Mousse; not that he was a problem before"), Magic Circle Against Evil ("Heh, the perv is really in for it now") aaannnd REMOVE CURSE!?!?!?! ("Nevuuh gonna be a gii-rl again, Nevuuh gonna be a gii-rl again!") virtually ensured that he would dedicate himself to mastering the secrets of spellcasting.

Of course:

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(Posted Mon, 02 Jun 2003 03:57)


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