Magic King Ranma: Morning the Saotome family (and assorted Kobolds). [Episode 107425]

A cockatrice's crow over the miss-enchanted forest anounced the arrival of the dawn.   In the nearby faerie tale castle, the sleeping beauty awoke.   Well, a sleepy cutie, anyway.   "Wassup?" young Ranma asked groggily as he wandered down a hall filled with busy little munchkins… er, kobolds.

"Castle not that dirty," Meepo complained, "no, no, no.   But Missus Boss's Mom say 'clean!' so we clean, clean, clean…"

"Oh, okay," Ranma commented blearily as he trotted towards the royal apartment's dinning room in hopes of breakfast.   He paused and peered at a tarnished metal rail.   "Ya doin' a good job; it does look a little brighter."   He patted the rail approvingly and wandered on, not noticing the rail gleam brighter where he'd touched it.

"Ritzo!   Da boss is here!" a watch-kobold announced as Ranma wandered through the door.   His spear banged the saucepan on his head in salute.   "G'mornin', guvna!"

"Uh, g'mornin' soldier," Ranma saluted back politely.   Then his head turned at the sound of crashing plates and banging pots from the next room.

"Coming" a kobold in a buttler outfit cried and burst through the door a moment later carrying a tray.   "Outa the way!   Boss's breakfast coming through!   Here you go boss!"

"Whaisit?" Ranma asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and peered at the tray.

"Et's a sushi, isn' it?" Ritzo the kobold explained proudly.   Then, in a less certain voice asked, "er, Boss, a sushi is a raw fishy, right?   I thinks it strange, but Missus Boss's Mom says it's a traditional Jarpoonessy meal."

"Er, yeah, but," Ranma agreed as he poked the dish gingerly, then leapt back startled.

"Oh, no!" Ritzo cried as he dropped the tray and made a dive.   "Da boss's breakfast is making a break for it!   Somebody catch it!"

"Never mind," Ranma announced, as he watched the slippery carp flip through a scrum of kobolds and leap out the window to splash into the moat below.   "I'll just have a rice cake or something, thank you."

"Alrighty then, you heard da boss!   He wants, uh, some ricy cakes!" Risso announced, with the authority of a person who'd never considered using "rice" and "cake" in the same meal before but, by golly, was going to work out how to put them together.   "Snap to it!"

"This won't end well," Ranma muttered.

A little while latter, the Saotome family sat down together for breakfast.   Ranma had managed to get the kobolds to cook something they actually knew how.   Nodoka was glowing with satisfaction for some reason that escaped Ranma, and Genma was looking slightly dazed and weary, but his appetite was working through breakfast with even more than his ussual gusto, if that was possible.   From the sound of it, they had stayed up sparing all night but, fortunately, Ranma had already learned to sleep through a lot of strange noises.

"This is not bad," Nodoka observed as she picked at the meat daintily.   "It's a little odd to have kebabs for breakfast, but not bad.   Mmmm… but what meat is it?"

"It's a rat on a stick!" Ritzo announced happily.   "Good old fashioned kobold recipe!"

Nodoka paused with a morsel halfway to her mouth.   "Rat?   This is rat?"

"Mmm, yes.   Nice and plump too," Genma commented around a mouthful.

"Nothin' but the best for da boss!" Ritzo declared proudly.   "Wan' another one, boss?"

"Sure," Ranma exclaimed as he reached for a rat-kebab.

"It's rat…" Nodoka repeated.

"Unusually tender too," Genma added sagely.   "Normally they get a little stringy this size."

"Yeah," Ranma added.   "This is some good rat.   "Could use a little spice though."

"It's rat…" Nodoka echoed.

"And she wanted me to give the Boss a raw fishy," muttered a perplexed Rizto.  "This is a perfectly good rat.   Raised on the very best garbage."

"This won't end well," Genma muttered and reached for another kebab.

"Doom, doom, doom.  Doomity doom doom!" strummed Deekin on his lute a few hours latter.   The Saotome family had begun their journey through the lightly forested hills surounding the Platinum Album Lake.   They were accompanied by the self-styled royal bard and the littlest kobold cleric, Meepo.   The sun was shinning, the birds were singing, and never was heard a discouraging word (besides, Deekin's doomity doom song).

… until Nodoka blurted out, "it was rat!"

"Are you still on that, woman?" Genma demanded.   "Anyone would think you've never eaten rat before.   Admit it, it was good!"

"Well, yes, it was good," Nodoka admitted, though reluctantly.

"There you go then."

"But it was rat!" Nodoka protested.

"Hey, Boss.  Deekin thinks maybe he should not have packed rat burgers for lunch.  No, no, no."

"Mmm, rat burgers," Genma drooled.   "There's lots of good eating on a rat!"

"Yeah," Meepo agreed, "if you can catches 'em before dey eats you."

"Oh, yeah, youse grow 'em pretty big around here," Ranma agreed having seen a dire rat, the size of a kobold, roasting on a spit.   He drooled at the memory.   "Mmm, but tasty, though."

Nodoka shuddered.   She was afraid to even ask what had been in the banquet the night before.  Hopefully she could find civilised food at their destination.   "So, what did you call these folks, again?"