He hated riding the train when it was crowded, always trying to avoid eye contact with someone lest they take it as a challenge, but for some reason riding this train while it was empty was even worse.
The hollow sounds that echoed through the train every time a car shifted from one side to the other sending a ripple down the line were usually covered up by the murmur of the crowd. The harsh metallic noises it made were nerve-wracking. Every new sound rang like an omen of doom, an approaching catastrophe .
That sound there! Surely that was the sound of an overstressed rail beginning to twist under pressure or that sound there! That was definitely the noise one would hear shortly before a gear jammed causing the car to leap from its tracks!
Holding his breath, his right hand clenching the bar that ran along the ceiling tightly, as he waited for death.
Nothing…
The train slowed as it entered the deserted station. The mechanical noises that had plagued his imagination returned to the normal noises one hears when a train pulled in.
For some strange reason a sense of relief that he wasn’t going to die didn’t suddenly make it’s way into his chest, instead a sudden burst of anger at the world surged in his breast.
Why? Why did he have to put up with this shit? Why did the world decide he was its whipping boy? Why couldn’t he have a family that loved him or friends that cared for him?
The answer flashed quickly through his mind, ‘Because pops is a bastard.’
A sharp pain surged through him. Clutching his chest with one hand he panted as the pain faded away.
‘I’m too young to have a heart attack, Damn it!’
Shinji rubbed his chest with his free hand, his anger forgotten as he worried about whether he actually could have a heart attack at 14 years of age.
‘Feels like someone just tried to gut me.’
Blinking away the strange emotions that seemed to surge up at that thought, he watched the doors open and stepped gratefully out onto the platform, happy to have something to distract him.
The condition of the pole he had been hanging onto went unnoticed, unnoticed by Shinji at least who had already walked on searching for the women who was to meet him.
The pole swung loosely from the ceiling, its base torn out of the floor it had been welded onto.
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(Posted Mon, 02 Aug 2004 19:54)
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