Realms of Fantasy: Heart of Darkness [Episode 110824]

Tatewaki Kunō, paladin of Lathander, was sitting in a corner of the cage, his back resting against the bars.  He was silent.  Not that he had been cowed by these lowly Dark Elves and their demonstration of gleeful, gratuitous violence... not at all.  He just had deemed that now was a good time for meditating.

His black-and-blue face and swollen lips, however, were telling a different story.

Now that the two Chibi Drow had finished with the pompous nobleman, it was Ukyō’s turn to chew him out.  “You had that coming, you know!” the young Elven woman angrily spat.  “It was all your dumb fault if they caught us.”

Her effeminate husband, Konatsu, didn’t say a thing but nonetheless nodded.  The Half-Orc Ryōga, who had given up vainly struggling against his bonds, just grunted in agreement

Tatewaki raised an eyebrow and deigned lift an eyelid (not that he had a choice, since the other eye was swollen shut).  “I resent thy assessment of the unfortunate chain of events that led to our current, delicate situation, Lady Ukyō.  I for one would rather lay the blame on that unreliable, renegade Drow that we had the weakness to choose as a guide.  This scoundrel probably had the intent of leading us to this trap from the very begin—“

“Oh shut up, you jackass!  Ranma and Ranko did warn us that we were entering Drow territory as soon as they saw the signs!  They advised against using the main trails!  They surely weren’t the ones who ruined our hiding spot just as TWO groups of Drow were coming close....”

“I never implied that the lovely Ranko was involved in this loathsome treason!” Kunō protested.  “There is no doubt the pigtailed dark maiden is trustworthy, as she so courageously proved by breaking the shackles that tied her to the Spider-Demoness, and proudly walking into the Land of Blessed Light.  But my fear is that sibling affection has blinded her beautiful eyes to the evil that still lurk in her brother’s heart....”

“You’re a moron!” Ryōga hissed.  “I don’t like that jerk Ranma, but even I can tell he wasn’t the one that got us into this mess!  YOU were!”

Kunō was about to respond, and Ryōga to argue back, but they both were interrupted by the tips of a pair of spears, stinging them in some sensitive parts.  Linlin and Ranran pulled back their weapons and glared at the surface-dwellers.  “We say no talking for prisoners!” they barked in their broken version of Common.

Ukyō sighed, leaning against the bars.  Her already bad mood darkened even worse when she saw a cart pulled by giant spiders entering the clearing.  Atop of it was a cage identical to the one holding them, and inside were four more tied-up captives.  “Well, Kunō,” she whispered, “looks like you’ll be able to tell Ranma of your suspicions in his face... he’s coming.  Here goes any hope of rescue from their part.”

The other cart rolled next to the first.  Ranko waved her pigtail in salute (she couldn’t wave her hand, they were all trussed up in strong spider strands).  “Hi, guys.  Missed us?” the ruby-haired Drow girl joked.

“How can you be so chirpy?” Akane grumbled.  “We’re knee-deep in Troll shit and you....”

“Hey, it’s not like we weren’t expecting it.” Ranko retorted.  “I told you it smelled trap from a mile away.  We’d taken a risk, we lost.  Now we just wait for the rematch.”

“Don’t dream on it too much, kiddo...” Cologne commented with a chuckle.  The matriarch was riding her spider next to the cart.  She had just proven to the party that it was no use talking in Common around her, in hope their captors wouldn’t understand, since she spoke the language perfectly.

Kunō rose to his feet at the sight of the second batch of prisoners.  Pressing himself against the bars, he ranted.  “Fair Lady Akane... Fierce Maiden Ranko... my noble heart weeps from seeing you abducted by this boorish lot of demon-worshippers!”

Nabiki frowned, not liking being all but ignored by the pompous holy fighter.  “What I am, chopped liver?”

“... But fear not, for I will do everything within the power granted by my paladinhood to free you from their clutches and teach them the errors of their evil ways!  I swear it, or my name isn’t the Blue Thunder of Waterdeep!”

“Ho, can it, Kunō...” Akane growled.  “I’m having a bad day.”

But unfortunately, Tatewaki didn’t take her advice.  Looking around, he wondered out loud: “Whither my dear sister Kodachi?  And I don’t see Lady Kasumi either....  Oh, I see, they escaped custody, no doubt thanks to the cunning of my wizardly-inclined sibling.  Then our hopes are greatly—“

“AAAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!  WILL YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP, YOU DUMBASS!!!” Ranma roared in panic.  But it was too late.

Cologne cackled merrily from hearing the nice tidbit of information.  “So, you still have accomplices lurking inside our domains, one of them some sort of magic-user?  I suspected as much, but it is nice to know for sure, even before a few hours of interrogation.  Shampoo, dispatch some fighters and trackers to find those runaway intruders.”

“Will do, Great-Grandmother.” the high-ranking Drow dutifully answered.  She then smirked at Kunō.  “Shampoo thanks stupid paladin for giving away friends.  Is too-too nice of him.”

“What...” Kunō mumbled, blinking and staring at the Drow in disbelief, unable to fathom how he could have endangered his own sister by his careless talking.

Ranma would have facepalmed if he wasn’t tied up.  Instead, he simply said “Ryōga... could you hit him HARD for me, please?”

Usually, the Half-Orc would have scoffed at the idea of receiving an order from the pigtailed Drow.  But right now, even he could see the wisdom of it.  Not only to punish the blabbermouth for his idiocy, but also to prevent him from letting slip anything else of interest to their jailers in his endless rants.

Jumping to his feet, the barbarian threw a leg (since his arms were bound) and kicked the paladin on the side of the head, hard enough to stun a giant boar.  Ryōga knew it from experience, he’s done it often enough as a pastime.

Kunō slumped on the floor of the cage like a bag of potato, under the unsympathetic eyes of Ukyō and Konatsu.  “Serve him right.” the Elf woman snorted.

“I can’t believe that idiot just compromised Kasumi-chan...” Nabiki muttered.

“Nice kick, Pig-Man.” Ranma complimented.

“Don’t call me that!” Ryōga growled back... “OUCH!” ... before yelping in pain, another spear-blade having found the way to his backside through the bars.

“YOU NO HIT OTHER PRISONERS!” Ranran warned angrily.

“Yes!  Is our job to do so.” her sister Linlin added.

---

After carting for a while on a trail in the mushroom forest, the small convoy passed on a bridge above a moat and finally entered the main Drow settlement.

For the Humans and surface Elves, it was quite an astonishing sight.  The town was entirely built of black stones with purple highlights, the houses and towers looking sculpted from single slabs rather then merely built.  It wasn’t colorless by any mean, though, as numerous faerie fires and other magical radiance were glowing and illuminating with eerie shades and colors.

Ranma and Ranko, however, weren’t that impressed.  This was a rather small town compared to the big city they were born in.  The artworks and dweomers were, in their opinion, of lower quality and beauty than what they’d been used to.  It didn’t inspire any feeling of nostalgia in either of them, though.  To the twins, this was first and foremost a dangerous place to be in.

The sight of the caged prisoners, of course, attracted the attention of lots of Drow of all ages, as well as a few of their slaves (mostly of the goblin races).  They gathered on either sides of the road to watch the surface-dwellers displayed through town.  Children played at throwing them rotten pieces of mushroom and other disgusting things — including a few live spiders, the size of a fist.  Akane shrieked when one height-legged freak landed on her lap.

Ranma and Ranko watched this dispassionately... until the male Drow frowned.

“Say, you don’t notice something weird?” he asked his sister.

“Get it off, get it off!!”

“Hu... what’s wrong?” Ranko pondered, glancing around.

“Somebody help me!”

“Look harder... you barely see any males.  Almost all the spectators are females.”

Nabiki, intrigued, joined the conversation.  “Aren’t that normal for Drow society controlled by Lolth’s priestesses?”

“Raaaaahh!!! Kill, kill, destroy!”

Ranma shook his head.  “The males are second-rate citizens, but they aren’t locked up or anything.  They should be seen.  Here, beside the kids, I barely see any male Drow.”

Ranko had to agree with her brother.  “You’re right.  There’s something fishy....”

“What could that mean?” Nabiki inquired.  In their situation, any detail could prove useful later.

“Not sure... but that group of Vhaeraun worshippers we saw earlier was entirely male....”

“You don’t think...” Ranko started, before hesitating, “... that the enemies of Lolth have managed to get all the males on their side?  It would be a schism, some sort of civil war?”

“Maybe.  We can’t be sure... I doubt any of our guards would tell us.” Ranma concluded.

“Thanks a lot for helping me with that thing!” Akane fumed.

“Come on, Akane-chan, we knew you’d have no trouble crushing it.” Nabiki shrugged.

---

The convoy reached its destination and stopped in front of a large and sinister building.  Shampoo stood in front of the impressive door and knocked hard with one of her maces.  “DOWEL!” she called.

The door opened, revealing a towering, broad shape clad in lacquered armor.  The huge and ugly female Ogre stomped outside, carrying a massive, iron-clad spiked bludgeon.  “Yes, mistress Shampoo.” the Ogress answered in a low-pitched voice.

The head Drow quickly gestured to the captives.  With the help of her soldiers, the Ogress dragged them none-too-gently out of their cages.  Cologne was still around, watching impassively as the party of unlucky adventurers was gathered in front of the prison.

“Keep your hands off—OW!” Ukyō protested as she was thrown on the floor.  Glaring at the Drow matriarch, she got the gal to yell “What are you going to do with us!”

Cologne made a dismissive gesture.  “Oh, that’s quite simple.  The Humans are going to be trained as slaves — or if they don’t make the cut, they’ll be sacrificed.”

This elicited a few “glorp” from some throats.

“The White Elves are going to be executed....” the old crone continued in a flat, matter-of-fact voice.

“WHAT!!” Ukyō exploded, while Konatsu visibly paled.  “You... you can’t do that!  We’ve done nothing that deserve—”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have a fair trial to determine the exact nature of your guilt.” Cologne kindly explained.  “Then, you’ll be executed.”

This stunned Ukyō into a flabbergasted silence.

“As for you two...” the Matriarch trailed off, turning toward Ranko and Ranma.  She smirked mysteriously.  “... we’ll see... we have yet to decide if you are spies of our enemies, or if you can prove useful.”

Shampoo grinned as she appraised Ranma again.  “I’m sure I can find some use for this one...” she said in the Drow tongue, though even the Humans could guess what she meant from her... expressive body language.

Cologne then concluded: “Luckily for you, it is late... way past sleep-time.  So, you’ll have one night of reprieve before your fate is sealed.  No need to thank me for my magnanimity.”  The spider carrying the withered old Drow began to crawl away, while its rider cackled at her own joke.

---

The procession went through a long corridor before entering a wide room with a high ceiling.  It was filled with rows of rectangular cages, their crossing bars forming regular squares.  There and then were a few other cages of more exotic shapes.  The place was lighted by the flickering flames of braziers and torches.

The captives, flanked by Drow soldiers, walked in the prison (except for Kunō who was carried under an arm by Dowel since he was still unconscious).  They stopped next to the entrance once everybody was in.  Shampoo then stepped closer to the prisoners, and flashed a short blade of adamantine.

A chill ran through the spines of several of the adventurers, but they quickly realized that the Drow warrior could have killed them anytime, and it was unlikely she bothered to herd them here solely for that.

Shampoo’s dagger, indeed, was only drawn to cut the solid strands keeping them tied.  The Elven blade made short work of the bonds, and soon everyone was free, at least to move their arms.  They all eagerly massaged their sore bodies to revive the flow of blood where the ropes had dug in the flesh. A few looks around, however, quickly crushed any temptation of using this fleeting moment to their advantage.  They were surrounded on all sides by female Drow fighters, armed with hand crossbows, ready to shower them in poisonous darts at the first sign of rebellion.  Their weapons and equipments were taken earlier, and hadn’t followed them.  So they were basically defenseless.

“Now what?” Ranko challenged, looking defiantly at Shampoo.

“You strip!”

“WHAT!!!”

Most of the pale-skinned members of the party reacted quite vehemently to the Drow’s demand.

“WHY WOULD WE DO THAT!?” Akane barked in outrage.

Shampoo stepped closer and leaned forward, staring the Human fighter in the eyes and almost touching noses.  “We no want take risk you having any hidden weapon or magical item that could help you escape.  So, silly Human girl has choice: take all clothes on her own, or have Dowel do it for her.”

Akane gulped, and glanced and the muscle-bound Ogress that leered at her.

Ranko shrugged, and began unbuttoning the snug, black jacket with silver embroidery she was wearing.

Nabiki sighed fatalistically.  She then complied too, first discarding her leather armor.

Ukyō shot several angry glares at the Dark Elves surrounding her.  Grumbling all along, she let the deep green cloak covering her shoulders fall on the ground.  Then she opened her shirt, revealing the glistening Elfin chain mail she wore underneath.

Konatsu stoically followed Ukyō’s example, slipping out of the dark clothes he used to blend in the shadows.

Ranma was taking his time, not in any hurry to get naked.  It’s not that he minded nudity at all, it never was a big issue where he was raised.  But he didn’t like the way the other Drow, especially Shampoo, was eyeing him.  Still, he couldn’t delay eternally, and had to take off the dark red shirt made of spider silk that he liked so much.

Akane was red in the face, ashamed beyond belief, and looking around in despair.  Yet she understood, intellectually, that she has no choice, just like her friends.  So she began to unbuckle the straps holding together the pieces of her armor.  The metal plates fell on the floor one by one with a clonk.  In her reluctance she was doing the job very sluggishly, yet it wasn’t slow enough to her taste.  To think that she had always complained that strapping or removing her armor was taking too long!

While the adventurers were improvising a strip-tease show, Linlin and Ranran had brought a pair of baskets, and were gathering every abandonned garment, leaving nothing behind them.

Kunō was in no shape to undress by himself, even in the unlikely event he’d have accepted it without raising a fuss.  So Dowel was doing the job for him, her large hands and blunt fingers peeling the armor and tearing the clothes of the paladin.

Ryōga was the only one not stripping at all.  He was too nervous, and too busy looking away from the women as more and more female flesh was displayed.  Whether it was Ranko’s ebony-black, lustrous skin, Akane and Nabiki’s rich pink, or Ukyō’s paler complexion, it was more than he could handle.

“Hey, you!” Shampoo shouted out.  “Why stupid male is standing idle?  Dose you prefer be dead than naked?” she asked in broken Common.

“I-I-I... I can’t do that!” the Half-Orc stuttered, frantically looking away from Ranko.  The Drow girl had finished, and was now completely nude.  A single glance at the smooth curve of her black buttocks had almost made him lost it.  “It’s too embarrassing!” he protested.

“What emba...racing?” the skimpily-clad Drow puzzled.  The notion was obviously quite foreign to Shampoo.

The other Drow were menacingly aiming their crossbows at Ryōga, and would probably have turned the barbarian into a pincushion, if Ranma hadn’t chosen this time to drop his pants.  This provided enough of a distraction — most female warriors instinctively turning their heads — to probably save the life of the fanged boy.

“Aiyaaah...” Linlin hyperventilated.

“Big Sister Shampoo never talked about this big...” Ranran marveled.

Ignoring the stares, Ranma urged Ryōga to do something.  “Get on with it, Pig-Man, they aren’t joking you know!”

“Shut up, you freak!  And don’t call me th—ACK!”

To yell at Ranma, Ryōga had unwittingly turned haed in the direction of the rest of the group.  Just as Nabiki was in the process of pulling down her leggings.  Akane, very flustered, was topless and trying to cover her tits.  And Ukyō was angrily throwing the padding from underneath her chain mail on the floor, leaving her in the Elfin equivalent of underwear.

Holding his nose firmly to dam the blood that was ready to burst out, Ryōga muttered incoherently.  “Urk... Arglh... Glark...”

Shampoo finally unglued her gaze from Ranma’s body to focus back on the barbarian.  Blinking, she wondered “Hu... is that Orcish?”

Before she could give any order to her troop, Ryōga’s eyes rolled backward in their orbits.  A spray of blood escaped from the fingers pressing his nose, and he toppled bonelessly on the floor.

Shampoo’s mouth gaped.  “What the... did someone cast a spell on this male?” she inquired, but all her “men” shook their heads.  “Is it some kind of trick?” she then asked to the surface-dwellers.

“It’s not!  It happens sometimes to Ryōga-kun.” Akane claimed.

“Poor guy just can’t stand the sight of naked females.” Nabiki added.

“Kind of pathetic, if you ask me.” Ukyō commented, crossing arms over her bare breasts.

“But I’m sure I can cure him of this little problem!” Ranko boasted, an impish glint in her eye.

Ranma just sighed and scratched his head.

Shampoo wondered for a while if they weren’t mocking her.  Then she shrugged it off, and ordered Dowel to strip the Half-Orc once she’d be over with Kunō.

In no time, every of the Underdark explorer was in his or her birthday suit.  Various levels of embarrassment and annoyance could be read on their faces, from Ranma and Ranko’s bored indifference, to Akane’s ashamed sobs and cries of utter humiliation.

“Good.” Shampoo concluded after observing attentively.  “Now we put you in your rooms for the night.  Dowel!  The special cages for the Elves.”

Dowel nodded, and then grabbed Ranma and Ranko, a twin in each arm.

“Hey!”

“Get your dirty hands off of me, you stinking pile of fat!”

“Dowel not fat!” retorted the Ogress to Ranko’s slander.  She opened a cone-shaped cage connected to the ceiling by a chain.  She threw the redhead inside, and Ranma joined her shortly after.  Pulling on the other end of the chain, a pulley lifted the cage some four or five meters from the ground.

Dowel then menacingly walked to Ukyō and Konatsu, who scooted away from her in fright.  She pushed them roughly into another cage, this one shaped like a hemisphere.

Meanwhile, head lowered in defeat, the Humans were herded by the Drow toward more regular cells.  As Nabiki was about to enter hers, Shampoo sneaked behind the rogue... and suddenly gave her a very rough slap behind the neck!

“Ack!” —splut— *cling*

Surprised, Nabiki instinctively spit out what she had in her mouth... which clattered on the cold, hard floor.  Shampoo leaned down to grab the tool, and waved the lockpick under Nabiki’s nose.

“You maybe had better luck in another hole...” Shampoo smirked.

Nabiki glared in return, but not for long.  Shampoo sucker-punched her in the stomach, leaving the mercenary bent in two and gasping for air.  She was then pushed into the cell, joining Akane, and the door slammed.

Akane precipitately kneeled next to her coughing sister, and helped her into a sitting position.  “Are you all right?”

Nabiki nodded firmly, the furious look in her eyes showing it was her pride that was wounded more than anything else.

The Drow soldiers exited the prison, leaving just Dowel the Ogress to guard them.  Shampoo gave the slave jailer some instructions, before withdrawing as well.

Akane shuddered as a cold draft rolled over her naked skin.  The place wasn’t exactly warm, or comfy.  The cells had no furniture, just a layer of what she thought to be straw at first glance, but in fact was probably dried fibers coming from some sort of giant mushroom.

Peering around, Akane saw that they seemed to have been sorted by race.  Kunō and Ryōga, both unconscious, were put together in another cell.  Ukyō and Konatsu were nearby in the dome-like cage, while Ranma and Ranko were dangling from the ceiling.