Realms of Fantasy: Bard’s Tales [Episode 113878]

“I FIGHT ON!!  Hu?  Whither the treacherous Drow...?”

“O joy, Kunō-baby is among us...”

Nabiki’s sarcastic comment didn’t attract Tatewaki’s attention immediately.  The confused paladin first looked around frantically, trying to match his last waking memories with his current position.  They didn’t mesh well.

Akane fatalistically sighed when she saw the nobleman suddenly sitting up.  As if things weren’t already bad enough.  She didn’t know what was worse: hearing two pairs of oversexed Elves going at it like rabbits just a few feet away, or listening to the semi-coherent rants of the most annoying member of their party.

Kunō’s eyes, starting to get used to the darkness, fell on the unconscious Half-Orc next to him, and he snorted.  He then spotted a clear shape in the cage next to them.

“Did you sleep well, Kunō-baby?” the middle Tendō daughter asked with a smirk.

“Nabiki Tendō, is that thou?  Humph... what is this appalling place?  How could those barbaric Dark Elves dare imprison our enlightened, heroic party in such a dismal gaol?”

“Well, what did you expect?  Some castle chamber with a large canopy bed?  Get real.”

“Learn, woman, that the scion of Kunō family is perfectly in touch with reality and...”

Tatewaki’s eyes, now accustomed to the poor light, grew huge when he got a good look at Nabiki.  She was sitting on her haunches, with legs drawn in front of her body and chin resting on her bent knees.  This was hiding any naughty bit from him, but it was still quite evident that she was stark naked.

“N-Nabiki Tendō, thou-thou are not wearing any clothing!” Kunō stammered, red-faced.

“How observant of you, Kunō-baby.  You’re not exactly descent either, you know.” she added mockingly, her gaze roaming over his body and lingering at his midsection.

“GAH!”  Kunō frantically covered himself, realizing the shameless woman was indeed right.  He turned around to face away from Nabiki while cursing.  “Those villains!  How dare they disrobe my august person of my armor and undergarments!”

“Well, you’re not alone there, Kunō-baby.  They made every one of us strip, including poor, traumatized Akane-chan....”

“WHAT!” he exclaimed, his head immediately swiping back toward the girls’ cell.  “Pure, innocent Lady Akane was forced through this infamy...?”

“Yeah, can’t you tell?  She’s right here...” Nabiki chuckled, pointing behind her with a thumb.

“HE BETTER NOT LOOK!” Akane roared.  She was doing her best to hide behind her sister’s body, sitting back-to-back in the same position, hence facing away from the males’ cage.

“Ah... sorry...” Kunō blurted out, after reluctantly turning around.

“You can be.  That’s a fine mess you put us into...” Nabiki added, this time much more seriously.

Kunō’s answer was a snort.  “Methinks thou are mislead, mercenary.  The guilt of our unfortunate capture is undoubtedly laying on the devious shoulders of the traitorous Ranma Saotome, which we had the weakness of hiring as a guide...”

“Ho shut up, Kunō!  Just admit you are full of shit...” Akane cut off in a tired voice.

“That’s preposterous!”

“CAN IT!” Nabiki exploded.  “Ranma and Ranko are in a cage over there, just like our lot, and in no better spot than the rest of us.  Probably worst, in fact.  We Humans can hope to be just enslaved, but the Drow certainly won’t be lenient toward what they perceive as traitors to their race!”

“But—“

“No!  You listen!  Our guides kept warning us about the dangers of this hellish place!  They haven’t failed us once!  But you had to insist taking the most direct — and dangerous — path.  I should have guessed back then that your arguments were bullshit, and you were already itching for a fight!  We could have escaped notice; both Drow forces were too busy warring each other for paying attention to us... but no!  Mister High-and-Mighty had to play the hero and blow our cover!  Now look where it’s lead us all!”

“They were evil, demon-worshipping scum!” Kunō retorted.  “It is the duty of a paladin to fight evil, wherever and whenever he encount—”

“WRONG!  Your duty, first and foremost, is with the party!  You should help protecting your fellow adventurers, not endanger them!  Because of your stupidity, the whole group is in the soup!”

Akane, mostly silent until now, wholly agreed with her sister.  She added her two copper pieces: “You realize your sister may very well be dead by now, and it would be your entire, dumb fault?  And we don’t know about Kasumi’s fate either!  If anything bad happened to her, you don’t have to worry about the Drow.  I would kill you!”

Being so harshly rebuked by his “Lady Love” did rattle Kunō’s wall of denial.  With much less certainty in his voice, he admitted “I... I conceive that thou have the right to be displeased with me, Lady Akane.  But thou must understand... I cannot forego my vows of smiting evil everywhere it shows its ugly face....“

“Poppycock!” Nabiki countered.  “And what about our mission?  Did you forget that Waterdeep’s Council entrusted it to us?  Wouldn’t compromising this quest for some silly monster-bashing be a breach of your oath to enforce the law?”

Kunō was actually at a loss to answer this argument for a short while.  Finally, he spat out “What... what would a lawless rogue like thee would know about paladinhood?”

“I know all there is to know... about pride, Kunō-baby.  And I can tell you’ve always been working more on ego than on righteousness.  Admit it, you’d do a decent fighter, but as a holy warrior you’re a failure.  I wouldn’t bet a silver on your church keeping you very long in their ranks — if we do get out of this trap, of course....”

“Thou can’t grasp the real truth...” Tatewaki muttered, unusually brooding.  “It has nothing to do with mere, base pride!”

“Oh truly?  Then enlighten me, Kunō.  What could explain your blind obsession with vanquishing evil, if not plain fanaticism?”

Kunō grunted, looking for all account to suffer from some internal turmoil.  Finally, he let out a deep sigh and spoke with grim seriousness: “Very well... if this thy wish, I shall explain myself.  Pray tell, Nabiki Tendō, have you ever heard of the ‘Big Kahuna’ of the Southern Sea?”

Nabiki blinked in mild surprise.  Akane, intrigued, half-turned and asked “Who?”

“Yes... I did.” Nabiki cautiously answered.  Then, for her sister she added “The ‘Big Kahuna’, Akane-chan... is the most infamous pirate of this part of the world.  Biggest bounty put on a single man in a long time.  The terror of the Southern Sea.”

“Indeed.” Tatewaki nodded.  “What else have do you know of the matter, Nabiki Tendō?”

Nabiki shrugged, not seeing the connection with their earlier conversation.  Still, the mercenary was proud of her knowledge of the seedy side of society, so she pursued.  “Nobody knows his true name, but this guy got a reputation of being the most ruthless and bloodthirsty pirate ever born.  He’s famous for the habit of scalping or torturing the poor souls falling into his hands, before feeding to the sharks those that are worthless as slaves.  He’s also feared for the cruel games he organizes, like stranding a few unarmed prisoners on some inhabited island, before sending his crew hunting them for sport.”

“That’s awful!” Akane gasped in shock.

“Quite the understatement, little sister.  Though I must say, it’s been maybe three years since I last heard of the Big Kahuna’s exploits... he seems to have disappeared lately, although nobody claimed the bounty on his head.”

Kunō, who kept nodding solemnly during Nabiki’s tale, finally concluded: “Thou are essentially accurate, Nabiki Tendō.  There’s just one thing you’re unaware of... I, for once, know of his true identity.”

“What!?!” Nabiki blurted out.  Now, she was normally hard to surprise, but this came completely out of left field.

“Indeed...” Tatewaki pursued, “I must confess that, to my great shame, the vicious scoundrel known as the ‘Big Kahuna’... is unfortunately... my very own father.”

“HUH??!!”  Akane and her sister were left speechless for a short while.  Finally, an upset Nabiki spoke: “Wait... wait a minute!  You never stopped ranting about you and Kodachi coming from a very noble — and rich — family!  How could your father be a pirate, then?  Was it a load of bull?!”

“Absolutely not!  The Blue Thunder would never lie about his glorious parentage.  The Kunō family has its root deeply grounded in ancient aristocracy.  From our revered ancestors were inherited genuine nobility titles and great wealth.  My hateful sire, I must say, was the one dark stain on this outstanding lineage — the proverbial black sheep.”

“And why was that?  Did he fell out of fortune?” Nabiki insisted.

“If only he had the excuse... but nay.  Nothing ever prevented my wretched genitor from accepting the position of legitimate heir to the Kunō family, nor from enjoying the great riches that went along.  But instead, he embraced a criminal life of piracy... simply out of BOREDOM!”

The contempt in Tatewaki’s voice was unmistakable.  He couldn’t hide the sheer hate and distaste that he was feeling for his father.  Still, now that he’d started exposing his shame, he continued with the story.

“I never had the chance to know my and Kodachi’s mother.  She probably was an unfortunate woman whose my father enslaved and used for his base lust, before he grew bored of her and killed her.  We were reared by other slaves, among his crew of rascals and cutthroats.  From as young as I can remember, I was subjected to the Villain’s skewed attempt at ‘education’ — which I can only describe as humiliation and near-torture.  My younger sister almost got her innocent mind corrupted by his spiteful morals.  Quite fortunately, when we reached our teens, Kodachi and I were able to escape from our father’s baleful influence.  This, thanks to the help of one faithful Halfing servant, whose loyalties lay stronger with the Kunō family than solely toward the Big Kahuna.  Trusty Sasuke Sagurakure — may thy immortal soul rest in peace — reunited us with our other relatives, who were overjoyed to welcome us prodigal children in their ranks.”

Tatewaki, now barely containing the rage that was making his whole body tremble, dramatically concluded: “Since then... I have sworn that I would redeem the blight that my thrice-accursed sire had put to our family honor.  That I would bring back its former glory to the Kunō name, darkened by the vile deeds of my malevolent father.  That I wouldn’t ever let any evil, the like of his, survive an encounter with the Blue Thunder.”

The girls stayed silent from a few minutes after these revelations.  Then, Nabiki hesitantly spoke: “I... I guess I understand better what are your motivations, now, Kunō-baby.”  After a pregnant pause, she added “However... I still think that you’re taking the wrong path to fulfill that oath.  By trying too hard to be everything your father was not, you aren’t necessarily making things better.  I say it again: don’t let your pride blind you from your mistakes.  Learn from them, instead.  If, in your stubborn vendetta to punish evil, you’re putting good people in danger, then you’re going against the spirit of your vows.”

Nabiki couldn’t see exactly what was Kunō’s reaction to her speech, since he was still facing away from the unclothed women.  But by the way he was hanging his head, she could tell he wasn’t insensible to her words.

“And beside, you should remember what Ranma and Ranko told us about the Underdark.  It’s quite different from the world we’re accustomed to.  This is a place where what we’d call ‘evil’ is the norm, in almost all races we could meet.  It’s the rule and the law of the land here; we’re mere outsiders, we don’t have any backing from justice-abiding authorities.  So, we really have no time to lose on futile side-quests, and should focus on our mission — and above all on the survival of the party.”

Kunō mused this silently for a while.  At last, he nodded and said “I’ll... I’ll carefully weight your advices, Nabiki Tendō... and meditate over this.”

“You do that, Kunō-baby.” she answered with a smirk.  Since they were separated by bars, it wasn’t like they had anything better to do anyway.