[Episode 117684] [Episode 117684]Nodding her head, Hilda turned off the fan for a moment, allowing her commanding officer to fix her cape.
“Grr... Shtupid capes, zey’re not as goot as zey used to be...” Udda grumbled as she couldn’t get the cape to flow around her shoulder as she wanted. “HILDA! ZE TAILOR!”
*RATATATATATATATA*!
“SQUEEE!”
Smiling, Udda nodded. “Oh, Hilda, you’re sho goot to me...” The blonde mousey-bitch then went right back to standing in front of her command chair on her Space Battleship. “Okay, now turn ze fan back on! I need it to varm my effect!”
Turning to her General, Hilda just gave the thumbs-up and went back to turning the fan on as two Vole medics were already carrying the incredibly wounded soldier away.
Smiling as she watched a few of the Vole Battleship techs bring in a large camera, Udda asked, “Now, you made shure zat mein transmission vill intercept and override every and all radio and television transmissions, herr Doctor?”
The good doctor, one of the Vole’s greatest technicians and scientists, a Bunnygirl, Dr. Duffelbunny, nodded her head rapidly to the Generals inquiry. “Vy, herr Schteppenslammer,” the fluffy cotton-tailed technician started. “Thanks to by backwards-engineering of ze Grosssuspensionofdisbelief Cannon, I can override any-”
“Is zat a yes or a no!?” Udda snapped irritably.
Her long ears going floppy atop her head, thee bunnygirl doctor nodded her head. “Er, yes, herr General.”
“Goot!” Udda said with utmost superiority. She then once more turned to her right-hand woman. “And vhat of shome of our initial invading forces? Haff zey all landed or not?”
Holding up her laptop and turning it so Udda could see the screen, Hilda showed her commander-in-chief that a good eighty-percent of their Kamikaze Vole Troops had already landed and were gathered for the forthcoming assault on Earth.
“Excellent!” Udda smirked. “Ready the declaration of var!”
(------)
All around the planet Earth, televisions simultaneously went on the fritz. Static came over the airwaves for a few moments, until the image of a sandy-furred, blonde-haired rat-woman in a very dominatrix-like outfit with additions that screamed ‘Nazi Military’ came into focus.
“Peoples of Urth!” The mouse-woman started in a very commanding tone of voice. “I am General Udda Von Schteppenslammer, of the Vole Imperium.” For emphasis, the flag of the Vole Imperium was lowered behind her. “Ve are a race of being far shuperior to your own in intelligence and varfare, sho don’t be getting no funny ideas, buddies!”
(------)
“Feh, like this is suppose to mean anything. Probably some perverted furry program they’re trying to promote. I bet’s it’s something that BAKA would like...”
(------)
“Now, un case you are vondering,” General Udda started as she held a riding crop in both hands. “Yes, ve are ze usual invading alien armada that you are bound to haff heard about in your funny pages und Shci-Fi movies.”
Raising her hand, Udda spoke seriously. “However, ve are not here to destroy your pitiful cultures, completely, nein! Ve are here to shubjugate your planet urth and make the most of it. That includes making you hairless freaks of nature as the newest shlave race,” Udda started to bend her riding crop for emphasis. “And anyone who tries to resist shall be in for quite ze unpleasant reckoning.”
(------)
In Asgard...
“Phhhhhhhtttttttttt!”
“Cough! Hack! Hack!”
“This planet is in a non interference zone… Why that...”
Several Celestial and a few Infernal Beings at the bar looked over at the barkeep as if he was responsible for this.
“HEY! Don’t look at me... I’m innocent this time...” The Bartending cat pointed to a table in the back. “Those jokers there are responsible.”
A pair of authors in the back looked up at the crowd and immediately dove to hide under the table.
(------)
“Und do not even fink of trying to resist our forces as you shee zem,” Udda said in an almost casual tone. “The Forces of ze Vole Imperial Army haff already landed all around ze planet, and are ready for varface should need-be.”
(------)
“MA! There be rodents in the corn fields… Bring me my scattergun!”
(------)
The blonde megalomaniac laughed. “Although, zat ist ze least of your worries, humans!” The woman smiled evilly. “You vill haff to deal vith,” She then pulled down her corset quite a bit. “ZESE PUPPIES!”
“Ack!” Was one voice in the background.
“So small and firm!” Was another voice
“Perky nipples!”
“Squee!”
Her eye twitching, Udda shouted, “HILDA!”
*TWOOSH*!
“SQUEEEEEE!”
Smiling, Udda laughed, “So good to me.” She didn’t noticed as one of the Vole Troops went running behind her in the background; completely on fire.
(------)
“WOW there is life out there... And it’s furry!”
“Yeah and it has small breasts too...”
“Well, no one is perfect...”
(------)
Cackling evilly, Udda looked straight at the camera. “For you see? Vith mein awesome breasts, and zis sweet arse,” Udda spun about and thrust her posterior at the camera. “Zere is nothing you people of urth vill be bale to do!”
Standing up, Udda cackled. “Violence is the last resort of the sexually inadequate! And with your pathetic libidos, and out perfect bodies, leather, lace, and whatever we want to look like hotties, our Pose Power will annihilate you!” She cackled. “Hail to the cheesecake of the Vole Imperium!”
From the background, one could easily hear numerous people chant, “Long Live God Emperor Ubersqueakenfurher of Snuffi-Heim Six!”
(------)
Vatican...
A priest spoke seriously into a phone. “Your holiness, what do you think of this?”
The man nodded his head as he got a response over the phone.
“I understand. I agree that the heathen spawn needs a makeover...”
(------)
Smiling as she stared at the camera, Udda laughed louder. “Resistance is futile! Try anything and ve shall shtep all over you und piss on your corpses! Ve shall make all men quiver in zeir boots vhen ve show off our booties!” The blonde rat-woman ranted. “Fear us for ve are ze Vole Imperium!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!” Udda laughed manically as sparks and other lighting effects went off behind her, courtesy of Hilda.
“Long Live God Emperor Ubersqueakenfurher of Snuffi-Heim Six!” Again was the chant in the background from male voices.
(------)
“Honey?”
“Yes, mom?”
“I think you need to call an exterminator.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“We have an army of rodents in the backyard.”
“What do you mean...... Oh...... I’ll get the phone book... This calls for something Extreme...”
(------)
Crossing her arms under her breasts, Udda told the peoples of earth, “Zat is all.”
Then, falling back into her chair, the General let out a sigh of relief. “Ahh.. Damn, I hate having to hold that stupid accent for...” Udda noticed her right-hand woman motioning for her attention. “What is it Hilda?
Following Hilda’s pointing finger to the red light atop the camera, Udda’s eye twitched. “The camera is still on?”
The view of the camera went up and down, as if someone was nodding their head.
“DUMBKOFF!” General Udda shouted. “HILDA!!!”
The camera’s vision turned to see the gray-furred mousegirl aiming a Desert Eagle handgun at it.
*POW*!
And then the image turned to static.
(-------)
“Stupid migraines... Where’s the Tylenol when I need it? If those two dykes used it all up on me again, I am going to be seriously pissed...”
“I know, Firen! Why Else would I call zis emergency meeting?”
“Oh thank God...”
“Yes. It has been far too long since we had a dance blitz! Now, SHAKE THAT BOOTY, BABY!”
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(Posted Mon, 06 Sep 2004 21:59)
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