Suddenly, you realize that you are still female.
WELL CRAP
Kasumi looks at you. “Well, I guess you can go first.” She sniffs and wipes away a tear. “It’s so romantic of you, sacrificing yourself to buy your fiance a few more minutes of life.”
IS THAT GOING TO STOP HER?
No.
Kasumi stands. She pulls a salad strainer with optional Flesh Mangling™ and Total Dismemberment™ attachments out from behind her back.
…
What can I say, she has a kitchen appliance for any possible occasion.
EVEN—
Yes.
AND-
You’d be surprised at what the Martha Steward Kitchen Appliances of DOOM product line carries.
Kasumi presses a button and a thousand serrated blades begin spinning with a harsh whining sound.
YOU’RE EVIL
Why thank you.
An unholy light begins to glow in Kasumi’s eyes as she advances on your prone body with her lethal strainer.
USE SPECIAL TECHNIQUE
“Of course!” You realize. You have a special technique you invented just for this possiblity! It’s the best chance you have of getting out of this alive!
You begin to gather your ki, preparing for your technique.
The salad strainer of doom begins to approach you.
You gather more ki.
The salad strainer of doom gets closer.
You gather more ki.
The salad strainer of doom gets closer.
You gather more ki.
The salad strainer of doom gets closer.
GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!
Fine. The salad strainer approaches ever closer to your face. You’re practically going crosseyed trying to watch all the spinning blades and sharp jagged thingies.
You gather more ki. You begin to glow like a small star. Kasumi stumbles backwards, blinded by the light.
SING
You’ve got no time for Bob Seger songs! You’re busy gathering ki!
You realize you’ve gathered a bit too much energy. You hear a loud whining noise as the fabric of the universe tries to contain it and fails. A dark rent in the very substance of space-time opens around you, sucking you into the dark void that lies between the universes.
Kasumi waves a pleasant goodbye as you leave.
You are rescued four and a half seconds later. (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy x-over)
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(Posted Sun, 24 Nov 2002 05:26)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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