In the Japan of this timeline, these groups were teams of slaves selected for their skills, and often for their inherent or learned magical abilities. These slaves were valued for their beauty as well as their physical and mystical power, so they tended to have uniforms that were not only combat effective, but also easily identifiable and that made the wearer appear incredibly sexy, adorably cute, or some mix of the two. In a number of cases, the fashion statement seemed to outweigh practicality in combat by a significant margin.
Yes, Japan was a nation policed by teams of magical slave girls. It may have seemed somewhat silly to an outsider, but it was silliness with some reasons behind it.
First of all, these teams were not only defenders of the realm, but also symbols of national or regional pride. Inhabitants of a city or prefecture would often obsess over the local maho shojo sentai in much the same way they obsessed over the local sports teams and their star players. So it made sense for them to wear these attractive and distinctive outfits, as well as to take on fanciful but memorable names for the sake of community pride.
Secondly, this was yet another trend started by the Masaki shrine, or more specifically, by a misguided sorceress Yosho had subdued and tamed a few decades after binding the demon of his shrine. Under the firm hand of her new master, this woman went on to become a powerful (if rarely seen) defender of Japan during the Demon Years and the consolidation and rebuilding afterward. She faded into the shadows once more when her master Yosho passed on, but rumor and legend told of appearances since then. Due to her actions and influence, many of these defenders of the realm patterned their uniforms after her outfit, so short skirts, ribbons, bows, and a little jewelry were somewhat traditional for the role.
The Jewel Knight Crusaders of Kobe were an example of such a traditional team with their short skirts (no underwear for slaves of course), long gloves, barely-there tops, and cute bows decorating hair and dress alike, all in colors distinctive to the team member. On the other hand, they had roots tracing back to a warrior priestess of the Far West who had come to the islands a few centuries ago. This was reflected in their use of the western cross rather than Shinto ofuda to repel evil and the large western-style broadsword carried by their leader. As far as the inhabitants of Kobe were concerned, these exotic trappings of far lands merely served to make their beloved Jewel Knights more distinctive, and they rested easy knowing that these young women stood ready to defend them with unfailing perky cheer and a bounce in their step. (Along with a few other traits described by “perky” and “bouncy”)
“This blows chunks Onyx.”
Fortunately, the people of Kobe were not close enough to hear this conversation between the pink haired and black clad team leader Onyx and the strong willed Lapis Lazuli. Currently the blue Jewel Knight was using her signature weapon, an odd gothic mix of sword and longbow, to gesture at a semi-amphibious armored battlewagon carving a rut through the rice fields. The roar of its flame-spewing engine was almost matched by the wailing cry of a short girl with curly hair in one of the wagon’s clawed arms. Another female form could be seen running and jumping with inhuman ability, trying to reach the wagon and its hostage. Masked minion types on an motley assortment of smaller, faster, vehicles were trying to keep the leaping individual away from her goal, and generally coming out the worse for their efforts.
Lapis Lazuli held up a silver arrow, saying, “We can pick the tin cans apart from here. It would be good practice for Jade.” The short blond who was youngest member of the team clutched her ornately carved crossbow nervously at this but nodded her head, saying, “It’s what we did last time Sempai.”
Onyx started jogging down the road, trying to keep herself and her team between the running battle and the city, but her conditioning was good enough to let her run and talk without difficulty. “And what happened after we did that last time?”
Lapis snorted. “The junior league mad scientist,” she gestured at the gleaming wagon, “got mommy and daddy to pay for most of the damages and the maid of might,” she pointed to the lone figure who was now throwing one of the smaller minion-mobiles at the larger vehicle, “used her trust fund to make up the rest.”
“And then?”
“And then little-miss ‘I’m just too cute to be responsible’ there,” the azure archer pointed to the girl waving her arms as she herself was waved in the arms of the mech, “kept stringing the other two along, just like always.”
“And just like always,” continued the Jewel Knight captain, “one of those two eventually worked herself into a jealous frenzy and here we are again. Just like always. Well ‘always’ stops here and now. These loons are going down and staying down this time!”
“So we get to hold them down and screw ‘em silly this time?” Silver was a rough young man with some credible martial-arts skills and the natural-born ability to transfer chi and boost the abilities of mystical maiden types as he pleasured them. He was a good sparing partner for training, he was invaluable on missions as support and a tactical reserve, he was a lot of fun for the time between missions, but he had a simple, one track mind and one simple plan for dealing with badly behaved women. It was a plan that worked with surprising frequency, but it was his only battle plan for every battle.
“No, because if we do more than slap their wrists, ‘like always,’ then those big-wig parents and lawyers that keep letting them do this will make our lives hell.” Onyx picked up the pace a bit as the battle veered in their direction. The superhuman hounding the motorized squadron managed to leap aboard the main vehicle, but was brushed off by a mechanical arm and trampled into the mud of the fields under its wheels. Jade saw this and responded with, “Aww, she was doing so well.”
“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine,” Onyx assured her teammate, “right now we have to keep them away from the city.” She gestured with her sword and the approaching convoy was met with a storm of arrows and crossbow bolts.
Perhaps not a storm, there were only two archers after all, but the silver arrows and golden bolts materializing at their command pierced the metal of those machines as if they were straw targets. Where they struck flesh, the projectiles disappeared in a flash of light but their target would spasm a few times, then fall unconscious. Between and slightly ahead of the archers, Onyx held up her sword and summoned a glowing aura of power around it in clear warning. Silver stepped up behind Jade, one hand helping to support and steady her weapon while the other slipped into her dark green top as he nuzzled her neck. Despite the steadying hand, this action had a very detrimental effect on her aim, but the golden bolts started blowing small craters in the landscape and violently removed a three-wheeler from under its rider. The convoy turned away and headed for safer pastures, still bearing a squealing prize of questionable value in the claws of the large wagon. A few seconds later, a muck-encrusted form burst from the ruts left behind and continued its pursuit.
“So when do we get to the ‘going down and staying down’ part of this?” Lapis asked. “Taking these twits out of action,” she took a moment to kick a fallen henchwoman trying to rise from the rice paddy, “is fun but so far it’s still ‘just like always.’” The Jewel Knight Crusaders continued to walk along the fields, maintaining their position guarding the city. The Kobe PD would be by soon with a supply of handcuffs, nightsticks, and other forms of restraint and pacification for the minions still lying around.
“That’s the down side. We don’t get to handle that part. The Daymio’s office brought in some Masaki Mikos…”
“Those pampered glory hogs?” shouted Lapis. “Why should…”
Onyx cut her off. “They should, because if we do it we might not be able to hold on to these girls with the lawyers and outraged reporters that would be set on us. If we could, then we’d spend so much time dealing with that stuff we wouldn’t get anything else done. Now, if some outsiders with Imperial authority and more backing that even mommy, daddy, and the estate executors can put together swoop in, bag them, and leave with them, then we can get on with our lives.”
Jade stamped a green high-heeled shoe in the dirt. “Mou. I was looking forward to the interrogation. The Dungeons of the Inquisition haven’t had a good workout in months.”
Silver patted her on her head. “Don’t worry, if we ask ‘em the cops will send us the small-fry to play with.”
“Yes,” mused Onyx, “we should investigate where all those henchwomen are hired from.”
“And let’s not forget her Kawaiiness,” interjected Lapis Lazuli. “We should take her into custody and give her a good…talking to. She’s been playing with the hearts of the other two and causing all this in the first place.”
The defenders of Kobe giggled and daydreamed about fun and games back at their headquarters, the Jeweled Chapel, until a sudden fireworks display notified them that the main event had started.
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(Posted Tue, 02 Nov 2004 23:44)
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