A Hellsing at Hogwarts: DADA conundrums! [Episode 125930]

by Arthur Hansen

"Y-Yes, this turban was given to me by an African prince for ridding him of a zombie. He was v-very grateful!" Professor Quirrell.

Integra just stared along with all of the students in shocked dismay. This was the one class that she thought was not going to be waste of time and effort. She spared an incredulous look at her friend Hermione.

"Did you immobilize the zombie and then burn the body?" she asked after raising her hand.

"Well, no. I didn't d-d-destroy it. I just b-b-banished it." The professor seemed quite nervous.

Integra looked confused. "But zombies are created by evil wizards to do something specific. You have to either destroy it or find out what its focus is."

Quirrell's eyes narrowed harshly for just a second, then became their normal fearful disposition again. "You are q-q-quite right, M-M-Miss Hellsing. I m-managed to d-d-divine t-that it was sent t-to recover an amulet. T-Two points for Gryffindor."

"Ah! I see!" Integra narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "May I ask a question not related to the lesson?"

"C-Certainly!" Quirrell did not actually look very happy about this.

"Why do you have so much garlic around?"

Hermione smiled at this. It was obviously because of vampires. Really.

"Miss G-Granger knows! Why d-don't you answer?" the professor said while pointing out her.

"To ward off vampires!" Hermione said gleefully.

"That is ridiculous! That won't do anything more than annoy even just a ghouled vampire. A full blown vampire will just take a clove of garlic from you a take a bite out of it!" Integra couldn't believe this bullock. "Even worse it tells the vampire that you are hunting it!"

"Miss Hellsing! I am the professor and I believe I know what I am teaching!" he snapped out peevishly.

The class blinked in surprise. That was not quite the response they had expected.

"I m-mean t-that it has n-n-nothing t-to do with today's lessons," Quirrell continued querulously. "A-As you c-c-come from a M-Muggle family, you m-must trust that s-s-some of your previous information may be... inaccurate."

The blonde girl narrowed her eyes as she sat down. She would not make a spectacle here, but this bore greater scrutiny. Soon the class was let out. Unlike all of the other classes, Quirrell has assigned no homework that involved any beginning spellwork.

"Integra?" Hermione called as they both walked towards the main hall for lunch.

"Yes, Hermione?" she replied.

"You don't believe Professor Quirrell at all, do you?" the frizzy-haired girl asked shrewdly.

"Of course not. The vampires started that rumor about garlic themselves. Several of my ancestors were killed before they figured that out. I expected that the Wizarding world would have better information." The disdain almost dripped from her voice.

"Well, why don't we research vampires in the library then? That way we can see what they do say!" Hermione just smiled at her friend.

"That's not a bad idea." Integra lowered her voice. "I'm sorry I can be so temperamental about some things."

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(Posted Sun, 28 Nov 2004 08:18)


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