Ritsuko sighed. True, she had been glad that Misato had asked for detailed information about her mission, as they needed the time for the NERV agents to get the equipment ready… but after the third time, she was starting to get tired of this.
"No, Misato, I'm not kidding."
"It can't be. They just CAN'T expect me to do that!"
"Face it, Misato. The plan has been created by the MAGI, and has been approved, signed and issued by the Commander. There is no way I would kid you about this. In fact, I had enough time to run a simulation in the system, and it says that the probability of me kidding you is under 10^-372. If you don’t believe me, believe the MAGI. Heck, the chances that a heavy rainstorm completely made of beer strikes Tokyo-3 in ten minutes are greater than the ones of me kidding you."
"I’m sorry, but I will be busy. I won’t be able to assist you. I need to gather some buckets and go to the attic before the st-”
"Misato!"
"But why?"
"The children have just suffered the effects of a very acute emotional overdrive, and they are very unstable. If they are not contacted soon, the situation will quickly get out of control, possibly risking the lives of everyone in Tokyo-3."
"I think that other people would be better suited for this mission."
"I'm sorry, Misato, but you are our best chance. Shinji likes you because he lived with you. Rei also respects you because you gave her direct orders in battle, and the simulation says that she won't face the Commander until she's assured that he's not angry about this. Also, your... known experience will make them think that you can understand them. And your physical condition and experience is the best suited for this mission on the whole base."
"You still haven't told me what their 'situation' is. Am I supposed just to wander in blindly?"
"It's for the best. If they detected that you were prepared for this encounter, they would likely grow paranoid about this, and fear that it's a trap."
“Come on, Ritsuko! Are you REALLY saying that the Commander wants ME to go into Rei’s apartment, where the best trained security guards of NERV have just been kicked around?”
“Yes.”
"With a small box of Strawberries, Whipping cream, and Lemon Pie?" "Yes. They will likely be hungry. MAGI has calculated which food would cause the best reaction out of them."
"Wearing a bunny costume?"
"Yes. We needed an uniform that would be unthreatening and commanding at the same time. That uniform fulfils both conditions."
"Err... And equipped with 5 m. of gift ribbons? That must be a mistake; It's too much for the food box."
"Yes. It’s for… One moment, you said 5 meters? You are right; that's a mistake. I don't know how that wasn't filtered out. We’ll need at least 12 meters."
"You’ve GOT to be kidding.”
Ritsuko resisted the urge of bashing her head against a wall. Enough was enough. She got a communicator from her lab coat and turned it on.
"Fire"
And she heard through the phone the oh so satisfying sound of a body falling to the ground, most probably unconscious from a tranquilizer dart.
“Target secured. Over,” came a male voice from the other end of the communicator.
“Well done. By the way, tell Bravo Team that they’ll need to get more ribbon. Somebody has goofed the equipment list. Over.”
“Acknowledged. Proceeding to point Zero with the target. Over and out.”
Ritsuko put the communicator over the table and turned towards her assistant.
"Well, I hope they like our 'Peace Offering'. Better her than us."
“Amen," Maya wisely replied.
Damn! Who's the next on the list, Maya?
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(Posted Thu, 02 Dec 2004 00:27)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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