"Umm, Ukyou," Ranma said. "This is Kiyone Makibi, an' you know Nabiki."
"Yes," Ukyou said. "And...you've been spending a lot of time with her recently."
"Well..." Ranma said. "That's what I have to talk to you about."
"What do we have to talk about?" Ukyou asked. "Akane has a girlfriend, and don't tell me you're going to go for Kodachi or Shampoo."
"No," Ranma said. "I'm sorta with Kiyone and Nabiki." Ukyou stared.
"You have to be joking," she said. "Nabiki has an abacus for a heart! And her..." Ukyou's voice started to rise. "She's old enough to be your MOTHER, Ranma!" Kiyone looked very, very ashamed at this remark.
"You don't know the half of it," Nabiki said. Kiyone was, after all, old enough to be Cologne's mother, if just barely.
"Shut up!" Ukyou snapped. "I don't know what you blackmailed him with to..."
"I'm pregnant, Ukyou!" Ranma shouted. Ukyou immediately calmed down and looked at the blushing Ranma.
"You're...what?" Ukyou asked.
"Pregnant, all three of us are," Ranma said. "You see...Nabiki had some instant nannichuan and..."
The resulting image assaulted Ukyou's brain and sent her reeling. It was a very good thing that she was sitting.
"Too much information!" Ukyou said. She snapped to her feet and stepped dizzily away. She crossed her arms. "How'd this happen?"
"Our parents," Nabiki said. "Of course. Daddy and Mr. Saotome used some sort of magical aphrodesiac. How'd you think Akane and Mihoshi got together?"
"So, is this the way you want it?" Ukyou asked. "You're sure this isn't the drug talking?"
"Ukyou," Ranma said. "Sorry, I...I tried to tell you even before all this. You're my friend."
"Right, Ranma," Ukyou said evenly. "Right. Listen, I've got to think about this...I'll...call you."
"Are you all right?" Ranma asked.
"Of course not!" Ukyou snapped, turning to growl at them. Konatsu stepped before her and Kiyone's hand moved almost unnoticeably towards her weapon as Ranma stood between them and Ukyou. "I've spent most of my life looking for you! But, I'll handle this."
"She'll contact you, Ranma-sama," Konatsu said. "Please go."
"I'm sorry, Ukyou," Ranma said as they filed out of the restaurant.
Ukyou watched them all leave and them stomped out of the room into the back, locking the door behind her and picking up the back phone.
"Hello?" she asked. "Police. Yes, I'd like to report a case of child abuse and statuatory rape...."
Well, if she couldn't have Ranma she could at least get a measure of revenge against those that took Ranma from her. Soun and Genma would come up on charges, of course, and this Kiyone too. And if she was successful, well, Nabiki and Akane would end up in some social services program and scattered about.
She doubted she'd be more successful than just a little annoyance, especially since she was giving this anonymously. Of course, they'd come investigating and she'd happily divulge everything she knew about Genma but she couldn't have Ranma knowing this was her doing. No...
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(Posted Sun, 09 Feb 2003 20:05)
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