Toltiir sighed as a few of the Regular Crowd came in, Bast, Heracles, a few heroes, and Loki. The divine patron of Tricksters (and former apprentice to Toltiir in Chaos) smirked happily as he sat and ordered a Meister Brau from a waitress that now looked like a Valkyrie going undercover in a striptease club. The Elder God's raised eyebrow (grown strictly for the occasion) indicated that the predominace of Norse-mythoi perviness wasn't unnoticed, and that Toltiir was fully expecting something truly weird to hove onto the scene at any time.
Just as the heroes were about to edge towards the door, that oddness became MOST apparent, when a few figures strode in. They had the solid vagueness (it's a Divine thing, don't bother asking) indicative of those that find a way to project their minds into the Divine, forming personas in Asgard. They did NOT however have a very pious attitude. As Toltiir gulped and made DAMN sure he wasn't a cat, the opthers noticed just who these visitors were.
Smirking smallish female on a stick (alternating with a beauty that would have Apollo on her in a heartbeat wearing a painted-on Chinese dress). Check. Girl with a cute face, Hair that was either waist long or trimmed and kawaii, burning intensity in the eyes, and a copy of If I had a Hammer--Advanced Bludgeoning Techniques (Copyright Skuld, Publisher Kami-Sama Books). Check. Girl that looked just like a mortal Fleece and apparently MET her from the Yen brooch she was now wearing and aura of clerical imbuement still settling into her aura. Check. Finally, and dreadfully for the more experimental Deities that were in or had follwed the mortals into the Wellspring, a very well-built girl/guy with a pigtail. Check. And mate.
Cologne (who else could it be?) looked to Ranma and asked "Are you sure you weant to do this? I admit the meddling Kami deserve some meddle-pains, but.. this affects US too, you know." Before Toltiir could speak out that Mimir's was not to be mucked with (like anyone ever stopped?) Saotome said brusquely "After all the crap we and our alternates have been thru? Heck yah! I wanna do this. Besides, I'm told you can have fun once you get over the Deep Hurting."
As Toltiir's jaw dropped (and the Bar sealed itself around the hapless Gods, heores, and one so-far unnoticed observer from Below) Nabiki said "Yeah, yeah. And there's something else you're after, you may not be a moron, Saotome, but I know you. What crazy training you thinking of this time?"
Akane settled down on a barstool and deftly grabbed a Sakura Coke from a passing tray, eyes twinkling. "You mean you haven't figured it out, Nabiki? Cologne and I knew it the moment Ranma steered that Trescendent Incense trip up this way!"
Bast winced and mewled a bit in the background (softly in case this Ranma was really bad off Neko-wise) as Cologne grinned. "To be fair, Akane, I think Nabiki's lack of combative mindset prevented her from knowing." She carefully didn't say what Ranma WAS doing though, leading to a minor grinding noise behind Nabiki's artfully unpursed lips.
To save on dentures for Nabiki later, namely to avoid PAYING for them, Ranma finally dropped the bomb. "Okay, OkAY. But really, Nabs, you should have expected me to pull somethin' like this. My Art involves infuriation and distraction, making my enemies unable to fight me effectively, y'dig? Think about it."
Nabiki burst out with "I told you a million times, Saotome, don't call me th.. th-th.." She suddenly went just a little pale as she noted how easily she was gulled into blowing her composure.
Ranma simply smiled, a change from his usual smirk. After all, he'd made his point. "See? Problem is, all my usual foes.. I know all their buttons, and they won't work as well on others. Top that off, I think Oyagi left off my insult training, so he could push MINE. Ain't gonna put up with it. So I petitioned Kami-Sama first time I was here, and He gave permission to find a way to train myself really well IF I could use it to get back at all the meddlers. This does both." He casually drew a scroll writhing with Light Runes from his Chinese silk shirt and tossed it to a horrified Toltiir.
Akane shook her head as she set her Discman on the bar and hit Play. "Only you'd do it this way, baka. Only you." The tone was that of true amused exasperation, but the song on the home-burned disc (Nabiki singing) kept any Gods or such from commenting on the fondness mixed into that intonation.
In a somewhat Divine future;
Gods' own Century,
Came a visit from insane Nerimans;
Along with a snarky me.
Been toys of the Kami long enough;
Now it's payback time, and it's gonna get rough!
Our lives have been crazier than a soul can take,
Now Kami-Sama's locked the lot in, and it's all for Heaven's sake! (Bast just groaned at what she KNOWS is coming, as the next verse is sung by Ranma-chan)
We're gonna MST some crap here:
God alone knows what kinds!
You might join in but it won't stop,
'til we're blowing all your minds! (Back to Nabiki's voice)
Now keep in mind, we don't control;
what it is or just when it'll end.
So don't e'en try, 'cuz if you do,
We'll just start it all o'er a-gain!! (Roll called by Ranma-kun)
Neriman Roll Call!!
Ranma!! (Of course!)
'Kane!! (This I *gotta* see!)
Na-biki!! (you owe me!)
Coooooo-- (Whack! Be respectful!)
(And back to nabiki's voice for the finish!)
If you're wondering how we rate this stunt;
or similar things to ask,
Just remember you brought it on yourselves,
so you might as well relax:
for Neriman Mimir's-Well Theater, Three Thousand!!
As the resounding Twa-annng! of gitaur torment ends, Ranma managed to get out "I never knew a Panda could play Electric gitaur so well--" before the initial rain of Beer Nuts from the assembled Bar nuts landed on his head. Before he could flick any back (or even eat them), the Well (in its widescreen TV incarnation) flickered, indicating things are about to really roll.
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(Posted Fri, 31 Dec 2004 19:06)
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