Akane slowly floated back to awareness, feigning unconsciousness while listening to the voices around her.
"I see she's still as stubborn as ever." A familiar voice said. "I thought six months without my chaos would have made her a bit more open minded."
"Yeah right, Ranma. Do you seriously think that Akane would change?" Kasumi asked with a laugh.
"He did." Nodoka said somberly.
"Hey honey, what do you think about this lot here?" Nabiki was asking.
"Hmm... I guess so. The house would probably have to be three stories and a basement, but it should fit our needs just fine." Akane didn't recognize this girl's voice but she was sure it was one of Ranma's new floozies.
"Akane sure has been out of it for a while now." Ryoga said.
"She's actually been awake for a few minutes." Another strange voice responded, this one male. "She's faking it to get more information, I suppose. Though it's the worst acting job ever."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WORST ACTING JOB EVER, AND DON'T THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU RYOGA! WHEN I CATCH YOU IT'S BACON AND SAUSAGE FOR A MONTH!" Akane screamed jumping to her feet and lunging for the older teen.
Kenshiro stepped in between them caught Akane's arm before pivoting and throwing her away from Ryoga. "Back off, Tendo." He said coolly as Akane flipped around in midair to land in a crouch.
Ken took a step forward only to be stopped as sky blue ribbon wrapped around his chest, pinning his arms to his side. "You're still not too old for me to take over my knee, nephew." Kasumi said sternly as she pulled on the other end.
Akane started to rise, only to stopped by the sword at her throat. "Don't." Rikku said menacingly. "Just don't." Akane was about to protest but thought better of it as Rikku pressed the sword edge firmly into the older girl's throat.
Ken shrugged as the group slowly relaxed, stowing away their weapons. "Whatever. Just don't attack Ryoga."
"What a haul!" A voice called from the hallway as a 300 year old pervert bounded into the room with a sack of female undergarments.
"Yo pops! Behave will you. We have company." Kasumi snapped as Genma and Soun staggered into the room.
"Company? Ha cha!" Happosai paused taking a quick look around. "Ranma! How this old man has missed you!"
"Missed hanging off his chest is more like it." Nabiki mumbled.
"Nabiki, you wound me deeply. Just because that sweet child gave a little comfort to an old man is no reason to be so mean." Happosai pouted with a quivering lip as his eyes settled on Rikku. "Sweeto!" He cried lunging for the busty teenager. Rikku yelped as she sank into her own shadow only to rise out of a pool of darkness near her brother as the aged pervert smacked into the wall behind her.
"Warn me before you do that!" Rikku exclaimed. "God that gives me the chills."
"I do ice and shadows." Ken said blithely. "I don't do fire."
"Ha cha!" Happosai cried leaping through the air to latch on to Rikku's chest. Ken began to twitch nervously as the elder Saotome raised her hand to stop him.
"Grandmaster Happosai?" Rikku looked down at the shriveled little man. "Would you please be nice and let go of my chest?" She asked sweetly.
"Oh no. Even Ranma's aren't as pretty as these lovelies. But they could stand a little dressing up. Why wear that plain old sports bra?"
"You tried." Ken stated calmly as Rikku's hands started to twitch uncontrollably.
"Auntie K... sorry about this."
"Sorry about what?" Kasumi asked curiously.
Rather than reply, Rikku closed her eyes and took a single deep breath before bursting into flames. Happosai screamed and writhed as Rikku hugged him close to her bosom. This went on for about five minutes before the fire died down and Rikku relaxed her grip. "Please let go, Grandmaster. You're making me leave scorch marks on Kasumi's floor."
"Sooo nice..." Happosai drooled.
Rikku twitched violently and flared up again, for another five minutes. "You're taxing my patience and singing my clothes old man. Please get off of me."
"My... my precious." Happosai purred as he fondled Rikku's breasts through her shirt. Ranma's daughter performed a full body twitch and lit up like a Roman candle.
"Last chance, Happosai." She shouted to be heard over the crackling flames. "I'm gonna keep this blaze up until you agree to let go, or you burn to a cinder, and I really don't want to do that."
Happosai's pain tolerance lasted for two minutes before he started screaming for mercy and Rikku obligingly dropped him to the floor.
"Did you see that, Saotome?" Soun said.
"She trounced the Master with some incredible special technique." Genma said. "You realize what this means?"
Soun nodded as the two raised their feet to pummel their currently defenseless master.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Nabiki barked bringing her staff down over their heads with a resounding thud.
"Vanquishing the foul master." Genma replied nursing the fresh bump on his head.
"The hell you are! Silly old pervert or not, he is your sensei. You owe him your respect for teaching you The Art." Nabiki growled.
"Atta girl... Nabiki." The charred remnants of Happosai cheered as he began the excruciating crawl to the the bag of female undergarments.
"You're not off the hook either, Happosai." Nabiki said firmly. "It's your responsibility to teach your students until they reach their limits, not until they reach the point where they can threaten you." With that Nabiki picked up the ancient letch and stuffed him into the bag.
"Never a dull moment, right dad?" Rikku said, closing her eyes as the area was enveloped in a circular flash of light. When it cleared, the red haired teen's clothes were repaired and the scorch marks on the floor were gone as if they'd never been.
"How did you do that, Rikku?" Nodoka asked in amazement.
"Just something I picked up in my travels." She smiled.
"N-Nodoka chan!" Genma blurted out searching frantically for some cold water. Failing that, he attempted to bluff his way out. "I suppose you're wondering where Ranma is. Not that I blame you in the least! I mean after the way that ungrateful son of ours just took off."
"Gee, old man. After this long you still don't have any better material." Ranma said contemptuously from where he leaned against the wall.
Genma blinked in surprise. "Ranma! Where have you been all this time? Well no matter. We'll call the priest and have you and Akane married immediately."
"Not happening, pops." Ranma said.
"I'm glad you see- WHAT?" Genma spluttered.
"I'm. Not. Marrying. Akane." Ranma said slowly. "I didn't use any words you didn't understand, did I?"
Genma's eyes narrowed as he prepared to force his wayward son back into line. "Ranma... you wouldn't want your mother knowing about your secret, now would you?"
"It doesn't matter to me. I've got too many responsibilities now to even think about submitting to that seppuku pledge you tricked me into signing."
Genma produced a large bucket of ice water seemingly from nowhere. "Ranma..." He growled menacingly.
"Take your best shot." Ranma said, pushing off the wall. "I've got nothing to lose. How about you?"
The elder Saotome roared and threw the bucket with all his might. Ranma just stared at it impassively before raising his hand, causing the water to freeze in midair before reversing course and splashing Genma, triggering his curse.
"Mr. Panda..." Nodoka stared in surprise before turning to Ranma.
"I'm sorry, mother." He said, bowing deeply as his form seemed to shrink and his hair shifted from dark black to a brilliant crimson. A moment later, Ranko straightened up. "I didn't want to deceive you all this time. I've been Ranma... and Ranko too."
"I know." Nodoka said with a smile as she traced a hand down Ranko's face. "Ever since I first tried to fish you out of the canal, I've known."
"But how-" Ranma gasped shifting back to his male form.
"You may have different bodies but you have the same soul... and the same eyes. My baby's eyes." Nodoka said hugging him tightly.
"Oh momma. If I had known-"
"But you couldn't have known. For all you knew, I could have been a three headed dragon that spat fire. You had no way of knowing that I'd never hold you to your father's actions."
"You mean, you wouldn't really have cut my head off?" Ranma said in surprise.
"No! At least not yours. His is another matter." She replied nodding to Genma. "While you are a man, I have my doubts that his training is what did it. I never wanted you to train with him for fear you would pick up his same bad habits."
Ranma furrowed his brow in thought. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the family sword almost cleaving me in half when we first met, would it?"
Nodoka ducked her head. "I said I wasn't very good at handling it. I was trying to unman your good for nothing father. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."
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(Posted Mon, 28 Feb 2005 04:07)
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