The Herald-Examiner was a strange paper with a strange history. It had been formed from two failing papers, the Supernatural Examiner and the Military Herald. The Supernatural Examiner was a supermarket tabloid that focused on the world of the unseen. This particular paper had been plagued by excellent reporting and journalistic integrity. Unwilling to make up facts or present all sides of a story, the Examiner had a very small readership. The Military Herald also suffered from low readership, due to its stubborn adherence to the core mission of reporting on the worlds conflicts from an Anglican perspective; the reporters were fanatical about God, and about guns. The religious point of view was not the problem with the Herald's circulation so much as the utter lack of foreign correspondents in a paper devoted to reporting on wars. Few people enjoyed buying a paper containing only Associated Press reports and articles on domestic terrorism attacks, even with an Anglican slant. The two papers merged in a bid to combine their readerships into a group large enough to support a single paper. A strange history indeed.
Lord Hellsing was confident it was the hand of God.
The paper was easily purchased for a very small fee. Upon learning of their new beats, half the reporters were ecstatic to deal with so much of the supernatural. The other half was equally glad to report on regular conflicts. All of the staff had believed the government was out to get them, and were quite eager to get it back once Hellsing confirmed they were right. The only limit on their zeal was Lord Hellsing's insistence that anything they publish be the absolute truth. The paper's staff would undergo an expedited training and receive commissions as members of Hellsing.
The Quibbler, while steadfastly not for sale, agreed to lease its presses to the Hearld-Examiner. This was good, not only because wizards were used to moving pictures, but because the paper had published its last two issues on a Xerox machine.
This still left Lord Hellsing with a very, very large problem. Wizards were used to casually manipulating the memories of muggles, and he didn't think that his reporters would fare any better. Their status as members of Hellsing would eventually protect them, but his only method of creating the necessary respect for the consequences of mindwiping a member of Hellsing would be several trials for high treason against the British Empire and Church of England, followed by an equal number of executions. While this would make some aspects of dealing with the wizarding world easier, it would make many other interactions much more difficult. However, the solution might just be about to arrive.
"Welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom," Lord Hellsing said as the two survivors of the St. Mungo's massacre entered his office. "Please sit down. I gather your interview didn't go well."
"We were fired," Frank said angrily as he sat.
"Or rather, we weren't rehired," Alice corrected her husband. "Apparently we were quietly let go eight years ago. The Ministry refused to rehire us."
"Well, maybe they would have if you didn't call the Minister of Magic an incompetent in the main lobby," he complained.
"It wasn't my fault the room suddenly went silent at the time," she protested. "And it is true. After all we gave up, after all who died, they let the likes of Lucius Malfoy run free?"
"I'm sorry that you were unable to resume your positions," Lord Hellsing said, and he meant it. Not only because the Longbottoms could have been invaluable intelligence assets, but also because they were good, godly people who deserved to return to the job they loved so much. "However, I may have an alternative offer of employment."
Both Longbottoms leaned forward. He doubted they anticipated his next statement. "Fudge has the Daily Prophet under his thumb. I've recently purchased a newspaper and arranged for the means to publish it in the wizardly manner. The staff will be commissioned as Hellsing officers. However, they are muggles, and I anticipate some problems when dealing with the wizarding world. As the paper will only report upon the wizarding world, this presents a problem. I would like to hire you both as security for my paper."
See other episodes by Bastet's Chosen
(Posted Fri, 11 Mar 2005 06:38)
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