Akane growled as she slammed her hand into her desk. "Why the hell do I things like that?"
"And what kind of 'that' are you talking about?" Nabiki asked, casually leaning against Akane's doorway holding an icepack.
Akane sent a weak glare at her older sister before slumping onto her bed. "I mean opening my mouth and a torrential flood of garbage coming out."
Nabiki slipped in and sat beside Akane. "What do you mean, little sis?"
Akane flopped back onto the bed pressing the icepack to her rapidly swelling face. "It's like as much as I know I shouldn't say things like what I said to Ken and Rikku and back when I shot down Ranma... I shot my mouth off and for a while I felt better." She rolled over to one side. "For a while. Why are those two so... so..."
"It's because they're siblings." Nabiki said, staring off into space. "They're all they have. Much as it pains me to say this, I wasn't always the best sister I could have been, always caught up in... oh well."
Akane sighed and readjusted the ice pack as she turned to face the wall. "Nabiki, is there any way I can make this right?"
"I can't tell you that." Nabiki said, rubbing her little sister's back. "but I can tell you that if you're gonna have any chance at all, you're gonna have to step up."
"How?"
"They're your family Akane, your blood. Stop using your head and start using your heart."
Stop using my head and start using my heart. Akane mused standing outside Kasumi's room, since a search of the house and dojo failed to turn up any sign of her newfound relatives. Resigning herself, she raised her hand and knocked slowly. A short moment later, the door opened and Akane found herself confronted by two piercing blue eyes. "Um, Ken... can I come in?"
"It's your house." Ken said stepping aside. "Do as you wish."
"So Auntie, have you come to deliver more insults?" Rikku asked calmly from where she stretched out on the floor.
"I... I never wanted that." The brunette replied, hanging her head shamefully. "It just seems like sometimes- Hell, most of the time, despite what I know I should be saying, I say things that hurt and push people away. If nothing else, I want to let you know that I am really truly sorry for the hurtful things I said about both of you."
Ken crossed the room and took Akane's face in his cool hands as he peered intently into her eyes. "Yes." He said after a long moment. "I suppose that you are at that."
"So, the question becomes," Rikku paused and spun off the floor to lean up against the wall. "what do we do now? I mean, as far as I'm concerned your apology just squared us, so what about the match? Can we just bow out?"
"I don't think so. Happosai and Genma would almost certainly find some reason to continue this, and if we don't go through with the match we'd default on our side bets too."
"So we do this. But Akane," Ken said, casually reaching up to undo the black silk collar and the onyx set into it. "I want to fight you. Not all those other schools and opponents you've faced. Just you."
Akane panicked as she felt the skills and techniques draining from her and made a frenzied grab for the choker. "Ken! I need that! Please! Give it back!"
Ken folded his hand around the choker and pushed Akane gently onto the bed. "I know why you put people down and push them away."
"You do?" Akane gasped in surprise, dropping her hand into her lap.
"You're afraid. Afraid that you're not good enough. Afraid that you won't live up to other's expectations of you and let them down. But you know something?"
"Huh?"
"I have no expectations of you, so you can't disappoint me. All I want is to face you, as you really are at your best."
"And what if I fail?" Akane whispered, looking down at her hands.
"Akane, despite all my tricks and training I'm still a child. If you need all these styles and abilities to beat me, what have you really won?" Akane stared in silence as Ken dropped the choker beside her and left the room.
Akane was alone with her thoughts for some time before a familiar voice cut through her reverie. "The kids said you'd probably still be here." Ranma said from the doorway.
"They gave me a lot to think about, especially Ken." Akane said. "So you and Nabiki, huh?" Ranma nodded as he sat beside her. "Will you tell me something, honestly?"
"Yes." Ranma said simply.
"Do you think we could ever work as a couple?" She asked. "If it was like before, no you and Nabiki or you and me. Just you being Ranma and me being Akane."
Ranma shook his head slowly. "I really don't think so. You know that saying, 'Familiarity breeds contempt'? Well, that's kinda what we would have been like. We're so similar that we would have constantly been on each others nerves. You always wanted to know why I wouldn't fight you seriously? I'll tell you why. I was fond of you and I didn't want to hurt you. You were the first friend I had since I got that stupid curse. Part of my mind knew that training could and should get rough, but another part remembered Ukyo and Ryoga and all the other friends I hurt on the training trip. And I didn't want to hurt you."
"Then why did you say all those mean things? Built like a brick? Thighs too thick? Uncute tomboy? They hurt too you know."
"Yeah, I know. I was a jerk, and I shouldn't have been. I was raised thinking that insults were affection. So when I tried to compliment you... GIGO."
"Gee go?" Akane asked.
"It's a computer acronym. Stands for Garbage In, Garbage Out." Ranma explained. "I had a fucked up childhood, garbage in."
"So you couldn't deal with 'normal' relationships! Garbage out!" Akane seemed genuinely pleased with this insight into her ex-fiancé. "What about your children?"
"Only a little better off." Ranma said sadly. "Rikku has a genius intellect and a propensity for math and the sciences, so she believes, rightfully so, that she can outwit or outfight any opponent."
"What's wrong with that?"
"She tends to overanalyze things. That can get her hurt or killed." Ranma said solemnly. "Ken is almost as bad. He's frozen out the world around him, and the only one who he really trusts is Rikku. That's a liability he cannot afford."
"Because he loses control when she's threatened." Akane mused. "Nabiki said that all those two have had is each other."
"And she's right. After a while they stopped depending on us and put all their faith in each other, much as it pains me to say it."
"Why?"
"Because Nabiki and I couldn't always be there, but they were." Ranma gave a sad smile. "One of my few regrets in life. Come on, the matches will be starting soon."
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(Posted Tue, 22 Mar 2005 17:50)
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