Master Tenchi: His Business is Foreign Ties and Tied Foreigners (LIME) [Episode 135416]

by Deadpan

All cultures face danger from time to time, requiring protectors able to use force as necessary to neutralize threats from within and without. The Empire of Japan had policewomen capable of handling most of the rowdy and criminal elements from within, while local militias and the Shogun’s military would mobilize against raiders and invasion. All in all, it was a fairly normal arrangement for almost any version of human or near-human civilization.

However, not all threats faced by the island nation and its colonies were of human or even near-human origin. Amazon champions, renegade chi-warriors, hostile or at least troublesome spirit-folk, mad wizards, mad scientists, and random rampaging monsters often associated with mad wizards and scientists all popped up from time to time. In some worlds and cultures, such threats would be handled in such a way as to keep them out of the public view. In others, champions in gaudy costumes with equally gaudy assumed names would fight their battles on or above the rooftops as the populace cheered or fled in panic, depending on how the fight went.

Thanks to a surge in spiritual talents among the population centuries ago, the paranormal was actually fairly normal. The supernatural and the superhuman were not part of the average person’s daily life, but it was also not something that could be hidden. Thus, the champions of this Japan tended toward the colorful-costume methodology. Due to the scarcity of males, and the need to protect those rare sperm donors so that there might be future generations, these champions were almost always female. As icons of Japanese culture, these champions often wore costumes that were not only colorful but also designed to help the wearer in appearing cute and/or sexy. As powerful, prominent, and almost always desirable females, these champions were also top-notch slave stock.

So, every region and major population center had a team of magical slave girls to fight the forces of darkness, uphold public order, and serve as the focus for civic pride, obsessive fanclubs, and profitable merchandising operations. Okayama prefecture contained the Masaki shrine, considered by natives of the area to be the foremost magical slave girl training ground in the world. The town of Kurashiki, located near that shrine, came under the protection of the senior students of the shrine. Standard procedure when things went weird, such as a flying demon strafing the home of a prominent citizen, was for the Kurashiki Policewomen to work crowd control and wait for Masaki Miko backup.

Unfortunately, the Master of the shrine had sold off most of his students over the course of the last few months, and he and the remaining Masaki Mikos were out of town, selecting the new group of trainees. It was unusual for the Master of the shrine to leave his sanctuary and travel, as he was bound to the holy site and it was bound to him. For the shrine to be left without field-ready students, and the town without the protection of the shrine, that was something that had not happened for centuries.

Understandably, some of the local officials had respectfully voiced some concerns about this to the old and revered master before his departure. They had been answered with a knowing smile and the assurance that all would be well. A few officials had then expressed concerns to each other that the most wise and venerable master was indeed venerable, having reached his 350th birthday in the last decade. And after such a long and glorious service he should perhaps be rewarded with the opportunity to relax. The one official to make such a suggestion in public received a letter from the shrine, thanking him for his compassionate consideration for an old man’s comfort. The letter also offered to alleviate the younger man’s worries by allowing him to test the old priest’s strength of arm and sharpness of wit in person. The official politely declined the offer and did not come out of his house again until the priest had left on his journey.

Fortunately, Kurashiki had other protectors as well. Unfortunately, Kyusaku the Conjurer and his slaves were that additional line of defense, and those slaves had just been thoroughly and utterly defeated in front of the entire neighborhood. Most of the crowd was caught up in the spectacle and the festival atmosphere usually associated with things going “BOOM” at the Natsume compound, but a few were levelheaded and sober enough to consider the larger picture.



Hosoichi, proprietor of Ichi’s Interdimensional Indenturement Emporium, always kept a clear head when the crowds gathered around the Natsume place. It was in this place at these times that he did his best business. Masters, and more than a few slaves in charge of their Master’s purse strings, would watch the show, and their thoughts would turn to having such exotic creatures serving in their households. Such slaves were expensive, but when the excitement of yet another Natsume Studios Production got the blood pumping, and there was some alcohol in that blood, it was amazing how those purses would open up. When that happened, being sober and calm gave Hosoichi a tremendous advantage in the negotiations.

A level head was also necessary for his own safety in making these deals. Many non-human folk had treaties with the Son of Heaven. Most of these treaties boiled down to a promise to keep out of each other’s lands and to keep out of each other’s way, the penalties for individuals violating those promises, and provisions and requirements for slavery and ownership of that folk by humans or vice versa. Failure on Ichi’s part to abide by those rules could result in severe consequences.

For example, a Kitsune could be owned by humans (or a human owned by Kitsune) for only nine times nine cycles of the moon. Exceptions were made for individuals who wished to serve a particular owner, and for severe crimes tried by magistrates of both peoples, but in all cases an ambassador of the slave’s folk must be kept informed of the location, ownership, and general duties of the slave. If Hosoichi sold such a bushy-tailed cuddle-piece without making these laws clearly known to the buyer, or violated them himself in some way, the financial penalties would be harsh, and the political fall out would hurt his ability to acquire his exotic wares.

Unlike Kyusaku the Conjurer, Ichi the Enslaver (as he called himself in private) lacked the power to make creatures of magic come to his call or to bind them to his service by will alone. He did, however, have the ability to make contact with lesser powers, and to strike bargains with them. For example, Kyusaku could summon a nine-tailed lady of the fox-folk to an afternoon tea or an evening of entertainment and expect her to be a gracious guest out of respect for his power. (And amusement in his antics) Ichi could make contact with a five-tailed middle-management sort, and the underling might accept a drink or two from the minor sorcerer if the offer was made with sufficient deference and flattery.

The key to Ichi’s success was his ability to make those offers with the proper degree of obsequiousness, and then to follow through with other inquiries. The five-tailed fox might know of a vixen of three tails or fewer who had been troublesome and might learn her place through a period of servitude among the mortals. If that were the case, then the bushy-tailed bitch was likely to taste Ichi’s cock and his lash for a while before going up on his auction block.

Hosoichi had similar points of contact among many other courts and communities. Among hengeyokai, goblins, or demons, there always seemed to be someone who found his services to be the perfect way to get rid of someone for a while. Then there were the ones from further out in the planes of existence. Ichi’s ability to reach those realms was rather spotty, but the rewards were well worth the effort, especially the mad wizard with his own demi-plane and the habit of ensnaring dimensional travelers. He always had interesting wares, and the merchandise was often happy to have a master who would tie them to the furniture instead of turning them into furniture.

Then there were the trades in the other direction. Adventurous girls or those desperate to learn secrets of magic sometimes sold themselves into the service of non-human owners. This was a risky move, even with treaties for their protection and eventual return. An unwary, unprepared woman in an alien culture among alien folk could easily stumble into harm without any malicious intent from those folk. Those who managed to make their way as strangers in a strange land would most likely be among the lowest ranking members of the household and society, unless the slave was truly exemplary in some way. It was a path only those obsessively seeking strange lore or strange thrills would follow, but that path had its followers and it ran through Ichi’s sales ledger.

Supposedly, Kyusaku could have offered similar merchandise and services, but he preferred to do custom work by appointment rather than open shop on the street. As a more powerful mystic, one would expect Kyusaku’s services to far overshadow those of Hosoichi, but being around the eccentric Natsume could be excessively exciting if his mental focus went off on an odd tangent. Ichi remained focused, and right now his focus was directed towards seeking some advantage from current events, and evaluation of whether the flying she-Oni was dangerous enough to warrant taking his business elsewhere.

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(Posted Thu, 07 Apr 2005 21:32)


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