At the end of the day, a tired Juna and a haggard Yuuki returned to the apartment to discover Nausicaä sitting on the living room sofa quietly staring at nothing, her downcast expression a sharp contrast to her brightly-colored going-out clothes.
"We're home," she called glumly. Then, addressing the Princess, she said, "You too?"
Nausicaä looked up at her. "What?"
"That look on your face. What happened to you?"
Nausicaä turned away. "Nothing. Katsunari took me to see a dialysis clinic."
"She what?" Juna asked incredulously. She involuntarily stepped forward, and Yuuki came in behind her and closed the door.
"She took me to visit her former clinic. Why? Did she do something wrong?"
Juna's brow furrowed, and Nausicaä saw the somewhat gloomy expression on her face replaced by one of anger. "Where is she?"
"She's in her room, changing."
Yuuki and Juna exchanged glances. "I'll talk to her," said the latter.
"Okay." Yuuki went to his own room to change. Just before he disappeared inside, he turned to the Avatar host and warned, "Don't be too hard on her."
------oOo------
Katsunari was pulling a t-shirt over her head when a series of knocks sounded on the door. "Just a moment," she called, then finished fixing herself and stood up.
"Juna!" she exclaimed as she pulled the door open. "You're back already? How are you?"
"Could we talk a bit, Ka-chan?" her friend asked calmly, her eyes hooded, her expression carefully neutral.
Uh-oh, thought Katsunari. Here it comes. She knew exactly what Juna was going to 'talk' about. "Sure."
Juna stepped inside the room and closed the door after her. "Why did you do it, Ka-chan?"
"Do what?"
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about." Juna's head snapped up, and her dark eyes flashed in anger. "Why did you leave the apartment without telling me or Yuuki? You know you're not supposed to do that!"
Katsunari met her eyes unflinchingly, unafraid of confronting someone as powerful as her. She had done the same with Chris Hawken and that obnoxious, opinionated Cindy Klein in the past, and had emerged unscathed from those encounters. And unlike those two, it was doubtful Juna was going to visit instant death on her, although she was sure to give her a tongue-lashing for going out of the apartment without asking permission.
"Don't get high and mighty with me, Ariyoshi," she shot back. "I wanted to visit Doctor Murata again, and I wanted to show Nausicaä that this world of ours isn't entirely stupid and self-serving."
"You could have messaged me using your cellphone!"
"Hey, when you left you weren't exactly carrying a cell, unless the Avatar of Time has pockets in her aura suit that I'm not aware of. And I didn't want to distract you or Yuuki." Katsunari's eyes blazed. "Nor did want to hear your whining or your telling me to get my butt back to the apartment."
"Alright! You've got a death wish, fine. Go catch some germs out there whenever you want. Your mother assigned us to keep you safe--"
"Keep me in a cage is more like it!" yelled Katsunari Her blood was boiling at the thought of being contained for her own safety. That would never do! She would never be totally safe, couldn't they understand that? The only certitude in life was death. "What good is my getting a transplant--my staying alive--if I'm forced to keep away from everyone else for the rest of my goddamned life? Do you know what that feels like? Do you? Oh, God, Juna, I'm sorry..."
The other girl's face had registered shock for an instant, then began to dissolve into tears. "I never thought I'd hear those words from you," she mumbled, sniffling. Then she whirled around and fled, slamming the door behind her. Another slam outside told Katsunari she had taken refuge in her own room.
Katsunari stared for a moment at the closed door, then yanked it open with the intention of pursuing Juna and asking for her forgiveness. Inside her head she was berating herself for her thoughtlessness. Of course Juna would know. Among them all, she had given the most up, in order to retain her sanity and keep functioning as the Avatar of Time. She was a sacrificial lamb trying to offer herself in place of the world, trying to stop the deluge that was almost sure to come and drown humanity in its pestilent filth.
The SEED trainee found the Child of the Wind standing in the middle of the corridor, looking at the door of the bedroom she shared with Juna. She turned to face Katsunari. You do her wrong, she sent. She cares for you very much and is trying to keep you safe.
"Yes, I know. I was angry and heedless of my words." Katsunari went to stand in front of the door and banged her fist against its solid brown surface. "Juna!" she called. "Let me in! I'm sorry!"
There was no answer, and upon finding the doorknob locked when she twisted it, Katsunari muttered "I'll take care of this" and rushed to the kitchen. From under the oven she fished out a spare set of Amiko-neechan's keys and went back and unlocked Juna's door with it.
Her friend was lying in her unrolled futon with the covers thrown over her. On hearing Katsunari enter she flung them away and sat up. "What are you doing here? Get out!" she ordered, the disappointment and bitterness showing on her tear-stained face. In her anger she flung the cellphone lying on the floor beside her at the wall, and it broke with a disappointed electronic beep.
"I'm not leaving until you've heard what I have to say." Katsunari shut the door behind her. "I'm sorry, Juna. That was thoughtless of me." She slowly walked to Juna's side and sat down on the floor. "But you have to understand, I can't live like this all the time. I want to be with other people. I want to talk and laugh with them. I want to touch them and ruffle their hair." She placed a gentle hand on Juna's head. "I want to forget I've ever been sick, living the damned half-life of a zombie for so long I forgot what real happiness was like."
"Fine. Then do that. I won't remind you anymore." Seeing as how Katsunari was not going to depart, Juna lay back on the futon and threw the covers over herself.
"Juna, please! I'm sorry already." Katsunari shook her one-time savior's shoulder through the sheets. "I didn't mean what I said. You can call me dumb, stupid, idiotic, boorish, whatever you like! You can even slap me if you want to! Only please don't stay angry at me. You're among the few friends I have left. I don't want our relationship to suffer because of my crass behavior. Please, Juna..."
There was a long silence. Then from under the sheets came a muffled "You're dumb, stupid, idiotic, boorish... You don't care how worried you make others, and you don't know what it's like for me to try and find the will to keep on going, to do what I keep on doing even though it seems so futile and hopeless sometimes."
"I'm sorry..."
"And I'm not only thinking about that, KatKat." Juna pushed the covers off her upper body. "Why on Earth did you bring Nausicaä to such a place?"
"I... I just wanted to show her that there are people in this world who do work for the weal of others, who sacrifice themselves for other people's good." She was thinking of her former nephrologist Doctor Murata and the patients' families. "What's so wrong about that?" asked Katsunari, genuinely puzzled.
"I guess I never did tell you... how depressed Tokio and I were when we first saw you in your dialysis room in Konnan HP. I just fear Nausicaä's going to feel the same way. And look at her: she's lost in a different world, and she's lonely. I don't think she needs more suffering on her plate right now."
"I think you're wrong. She's a strong girl, and I believe seeing the courage of the patients and their doctors and families will gladden her spirit. I couldn't just let her leave thinking we're a bunch of self-interested yahoos." Katsunari frowned. "Although I do see your point."
"Leave? Did she say anything about leaving?"
"No. But you never know, do you? Like Antoine de Saint Exupéry's Little Prince, she might one day disappear just as suddenly as she came into our lives."
"If she ever does, I hope she'll say goodbye to us beforehand." Juna sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Ka-chan?"
"Yes?"
"I won't henpeck you anymore about your health. But if you get sick because of your overeagerness, I'm not going to let you hear the end of it."
"Oh, don't stop doing that, Juna! Henpeck me all you want! I'd rather you do, because at least it tells me that you care. Besides, you know how much I can be trusted when it comes to those matters," Katsunari chortled.
Juna sniffed. "Yeah, I do."
"Did you have a bad day today? I mean, how did it go with the Raaja?"
"Oh, nothing much to talk about. At least it was in a remote factory, and no one was hurt. And I didn't destroy anything this time, can you believe that?" Juna smiled sadly. "Only it was such an ugly, pathetic Raaja, I felt sorry for it."
"Perhaps you shouldn't have killed it, then."
"What was I to do? Chris gave me a mandate, but how am I supposed to accomplish it if I don't kill the Raaja? Do you know the answer to that?"
"Well... there's what you did when you saved me."
"That was a one-shot deal. I wasn't expecting to survive it, you know. And besides," Juna added, her expression softening, "not every Raaja is you, Ka-chan."
"I understand. I guess I can't expect you to offer yourself up as monster food everyday."
"Not bloody likely." Juna was silent for a while. Her eyes shone in the semi-darkness of the room. "Ka-chan? Could I ask a favor from you?"
"What?"
"Well... there's no Tokio to ask this of, so..." Katsunari watched as a blush appeared on her friend's face. "Could you just, you know... hold me for a while? I'm sorry if it sounds so gay, but..."
Without a word Katsunari gathered Juna up in her arms and hugged her tightly.
"Thanks," Juna murmured, blinking away the tears that threatened to erupt afresh from her eyes as she nestled her head against her friend's bosom. "This job gets so lonely sometimes..."
"Shush," said Katsunari. "You know, I recall a certain superheroic girl saying to me, 'don't give up hope. I'll be rooting for you. You're more of a hero than I am.'"
"Gods, that was so long ago, Ka-chan."
"Hey, it's your fault I'm still around to return your words to you."
"Silly okaa-chan. Thank you." Both girls fell silent and took to staring out the window at Tokyo sitting under the oranges and russet-browns of the twilit sky.
------oOo------
Outside the door Nausicaä smiled to herself and tiptoed away silently in her cat-headed slippers. She headed to the kitchen to help Yuuki prepare the evening meal.
"They stop fighting yet?" Yuuki asked her as she emerged into the workspace.
"Oh, yes. I do believe they've stopped fighting, and are the best of friends again."
"That's good to hear," Yuuki said noncommittally. "By the way, are you going to do the rice gruel, or am I?"
------oOo------
Bobby Dragon yawned as he leaned back in his comfortably soft recliner in his room in Kadena AB's Shogun Inn. He really liked being here in Japan. Its colors were so different from the dry, dusty grays and browns of Afghanistan. And it wasn't as hot, and the people were far more friendly. Then again, why shouldn't they be? They weren't the ones facing bombings, shellings and shootings almost every day. Just a US occupation that had dated from the end of the Second World War.
He was thinking about his command back in Dreamland in the US. The entire world knew it as a nuclear test range, and that had been enough to scare most of the snoopers and sightseers away. But the weapons had actually been detonated far to the south at Pahute Mesa. It was paradise for those who were, at least on the official lists, dead or missing. Like he used to be, once upon a time.
His mind was idling over the past, crossing the thousands of miles to the friends lying in the cemetery hidden among the desert hills. Families would never know the fates of those buried there. Prior to their deployment he had been fighting for the Pentagon to release the information to the relatives; at least the oldest, most innocuous cases, the ones who had died without swallowing SAMs while flying over enemy territory, and those who hadn't crashed in another country when they were supposed to be somewhere else. But the affair was a no-go, and his anger still flared up when he remembered how he had lost that battle. Bobby Dragon hated losing.
As he was reminiscing, the phone beside the chair rang. He grumbled good-naturedly and picked it up.
(Posted Mon, 04 Apr 2005 18:10)
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