"MMMMMPH!" yelled Akane into Nabiki's hand, which had suddenly been placed over her mouth.
"Akane, this is your chance to say goodbye forever to Kuno-baby," whispered Nabiki into her sister's ear. "If you hit Master in front of witnesses like this, it can come up as grounds for declaring him an unfit Master."
"Hmph?" asked Akane, still with the hand over her mouth.
"Because I recognize that one guy's badge of office," whispered Nabiki. "That pendant he's wearing? Marks him as a licensed Advocate."
"hmph hmph!" said Akane.
"I can't make out that sigil."
"HMMMMPH!"
"Hmm? Oh sorry Akane," said Nabiki, removing her hand.
Akane gasped and wheezed as soon as she could breathe again.
"You there, Advocate," said Nabiki, bowing as politely as she could while wearing this particular outfit. "That pendant indicates you're a professional Advocate but I'm not sure about the other symbols."
"I'm a fourth rank Advocate with Samurai Servants Limited, on a five year contract - limited use," said the Advocate with a bow. "I've been retained as a scribe to record the young Master's transactions today and act as legal counsel and official witness."
"Indeed," said Tatewaki. "Tis only fair that my victory this date be a matter of public record, that way all may know of my glory and the full measure of mine victory. That way all may view my accomplishments and be inspired themselves."
"So you have to be fair and impartial as an official Advocate, am I right?" pressed Nabiki.
"Of course," said the Advocate, rubbing his balding head. "I'm an Advocate, not a Lawyer. I can't lie on anyone's behalf."
Tatewaki Kuno waved a hand to dismiss any concerns about such. "Nor should you. The truth should ever be something sought by all who aspire to greatness. Indeed, the samurai counts honesty as a worthy goal to cleave to through adversity."
Akane stared briefly. Then did something unexpected. (Snort. Snicker.) "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hmmm. Pay's good?" asked Nabiki of the Advocate.
"hee hee hee."
"Pretty good, Samurai Servants is fairly upscale. Sometimes the working conditions aren't that great," said the Advocate with a shrug. "I've got two more years to go, but it'll be enough saved up that I can fund a business venture I've been planning. With the right investments I can set myself up fairly nicely."
"hahahahahahahahaha."
"Oh?" asked Nabiki, intrigued.
"hee hee truth ha ha ha."
"So when he put his sister up as collateral on a bet?" asked Nabiki.
"hee hee samurai ha ha honesty hee hee."
"Officially recorded," said the Advocate, holding up his notebook. "I'll do the legal paperwork when I report back to the office. Since you're going for 'equal measure' here, I have to ask. Full use, permanent ownership, adjusted?"
(snicker chuckle groan)
"Yes, yes, and in Akane's case - yes." Nabiki nodded. "She had a little conniption at one point when the medical inspector was checking us out for any health problems."
"hee hee" (ouch) "ha"
"Having only a brief conversation with his sister when I arrived, I can only say that a little adjustment will probably help everyone out in this instance," said the Advocate mysteriously as he made notes.
"Are ya gonna be okay?" asked Ranma with concern at the girl bent over double on the ground.
"Sorry, I've been a little stressed lately," said Akane, immediately putting herself in the running for the Understatement Of The Day award.
"Ah," said Ranma with a nod. "So this is gonna be an official match with a referee?"
"Indeed, yon Advocate can act the function and these worthies," said Kuno, indicating the crowds that had gathered, "can act as witness to mine triumph!"
"Okay," said Ranma, rotating his shoulders.
"Hey Kuno, isn't largesse a samurai thing too?" asked Nabiki, always looking for a profit.
"Indeed," said Kuno, never considering he might lose. "Yet we dither about when I am anxious for the spoils of victory."
"Keep it in your hakama, Kuno-baby," advised Nabiki. "I was just thinking some outfits might be nice. They sold off all our possessions as part of the bankruptcy proceedings. A change of clothes would be nice."
"Clothes?" asked Kuno, his mind wandering off. "Perhaps..." Images of Akane wearing a frilly maid's outfit, a formal kimono, summer yukata, Playboy bunny costume, leather collar, harem dancer outfit, swimsuits, etc. briefly passed across his mind's eye. "Good scribe, might I borrow your writing implements?" Once he won he'd have to arrange such packaging for his most prized possession.
Keeping an eye on the scribblings of the boy, and incidently keeping track of his supplies, the Advocate noted the outfits mentally. For all four, if the client lost, that could get pricey. Well, it wasn't HIS money, after all.
"Enough of this," said Kuno, thinking he would explode if one more such image passed across his imagination's canvas. "Tis time to d-d-d-d-duel!"
"Bad stutter there," mumbled Ranma as the crowd cleared a rough circle and the two moved to opposite ends.
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(Posted Sun, 10 Jul 2005 02:18)
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