*She must be the one who stopped the other three - and that means that she is a Dark General just like me.* Little hearts began to float around his head. *Now, if I can just get her to join our side, Beryl will be so grateful she’ll let me train her, and then ...* As Jedite continued to slip into his own little fantasy world, which somehow involved generous amounts of cherries, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream, the ninja cheerleader Sailor Moon continued to try to capture the yoma.
Bambar may not have been the strongest yoma in the dark kingdom, or the smartest, or the most powerful, or even the fastest. However, those very same qualities did lead her to win Best Dodger of Overpowered Attacks, 52 years running.
THWACK! “Hold still, you! As an evil creature, it’s my job to -“ SMASH! “- clobber you!” CRUNCH! the ninja cheerleader Sailor Moon shouted, as she destroyed sundry objects around the entrance to the high school.
“Well, that makes two trees, a statue, the hood of a car, and three -“ CRASH! “- make that four lights she’s destroyed. With no end in sight.” Luna sighed. “They definitely don’t make princesses like they used to.”
After three more minutes of the ninja cheerleader Sailor Moon thwacking Bambar, Bambar dodging said thwacks, Luna sighing progressively more and more loudly, and Jedite’s mind slipping further and further into chocolate sauce land, the ninja cheerleader Sailor Moon finally managed to corner Bambar. Just as the ninja cheerleader Sailor Moon was preparing finally layth down the smack on Bambar, the yoma did something totally predictable, as she was also winner of the Wimp Out and Beg competition.
“WHAAAAAA!” A waterfall of tears that would have done the old Usagi proud poured out of Bambar’s eyes. “Please, Mrs. Dark General, sir, I mean ma’ma, I mean ... Just don’t hurt me and I’ll tell you everything!” At this very moment, when Jadite’s mind was almost ready to frolic from chocolate sauce land to leather land, something inside spoke up, telling him that if she did indeed tell all, he would be denied not only leather, but cherries, whipped cream, *and* chocolate sauce. Leaping down, he landed lightly behind the pair, and struck a manly pose, complete with sparkles.
“Now, now, my dear Bambar. I’m sure that this lovely lady General would be far more interested to hear my *proposal*.” Turning around, Ranma was struck by the full force of Jedite’s manly charms.
To understand what occurred next, we must recall that Ranma was not the exactly the same as his old self - he still had Usagi’s memories and bits and pieces of her personality running around inside his mind. Thus there was the expected urge for her to kick Jedite, and then hit him, and inflict other sorts of sever bodily harm upon the pervert. There was also an equally strong urge to giggle nervously and blush and generally act as though a very handsome boy had just spoken to her for the first time. The result of these two incompatible urges meeting was the ninja cheerleader Sailor Moon blinking rapidly as Jedite continued his speech.
“I’m sure that we have *much* to ... discuss. Bambar, run along home now. Now, m’lady General, let us go someplace ... *private*.”
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(Posted Mon, 11 Jul 2005 16:46)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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