"Back off, you hussy!" a girl in white robes snarled at her. "He's mine!"
"Hey," Nabiki began, trying to interject, "if you settle down--"
"He's _mine_, you harridan!" Natsume growled, an unexpected flash-kick throwing Rogue out into the yard. She chased after, hefting what looked like a rug-beater, though it was wreathed in a blue glow. "Now taste my true power!"
From outside, there was a splash, and then a thunderous roar. "Cower before the might of Ashura!" A wave of flame washed over the backyard, Natsume coming into sight screaming as she frantically warded off the fire with her rug-beater.
"Don't even know why I bothered," Nabiki sighed.
An Ashura ran across the yard after her, cackling gleefully.
"I get to keep you," Azusa deduced, not seeing anyone from stopping her. "Yay! Happy ending!"
"Don't I get a say in this?" Ryuu protested.
Nabiki smiled slyly, seeing an opening in Ryuu that was not present in Rouge or Natsume. "As a matter of fact, you don't," she said. "If 'widdle Azusa' here goes to city hall, forks over the requisite fee, and signs her name, you'll be married to her."
Rouge's ashura-form and Natsume both stared in through the doorway. "Excuse me?" they asked in one voice, their fight put aside to concentrate on Azusa.
"Azusa is scared," the girl mumbled, burying her face in Ryuu's chest.
"Why me?" Ryuu whimpered.
"Now that I've got your attention," Nabiki explained, "if Azusa marries Ryuu, she becomes his first wife. He's got room on his dance-card for four more after her." Then she frowned. "Though, you two are sisters, so you'll only count as one."
"Oh?" Kurumi asked. "Does that mean we could marry Ranma together, too?"
"Depend on how much you like waiting in line," Shampoo answered dryly. "You sleep with Ranma first, or that boy?"
"Ryuu," Natsume, Kurumi, and Rouge said together.
"Six times," Natsume mumbled.
"Five," Rouge admitted, blushing.
"Just twice," Kurumi added, giggling a bit.
"Azusa only had fun with Ryuu twice, too," she finished. "And then Ranma once!"
"So, you'll marry whoever you slept with first, right," Akane asked. "I mean ... unless ... paternity tests ... oh, kami. This is going to be messy, I just know it."
"Excuse me, Akane-chan," a voice said timidly from the kitchen. "Are you saying that you've slept with my son?"
"Er ... if you're Ranma's mother," Natsume began, blushing in embarrassment, "then she wasn't the only one."
"You mean ... you too?" Nodoka asked, eyes widening in delight, yet still missing Ryuu's form, pinned as he was by Azusa. "Oh, how manly!"
"Except from yourself and elder Cologne, I don't think there's a single girl here who Ranma hasn't slept with," Nabiki sighed.
Nodoka cheered loudly, producing a pair of fans and waving them around wildly.
Rolling her eyes, Nabiki commanded, "Okay, people. To the dojo. I want to make a flowchart so we can figure out who did who and when." This call to order seemed to quell any remaining fight between Rouge and Natsume, and people began to file to the dojo. "'Dachi-chan, um ... could I ask you to see if Ranma and Ucchan are okay?"
"Certainly," Kodachi murmured. "I'll see to it right away."
Nodding, Nabiki stowed the jewelry before heading out herself.
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(Posted Thu, 21 Jul 2005 00:15)
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