...Wows, does THAT sound lame saying that. Well, it’s me, your owner Ranma Sextome. Mom gave me this before Ryoga and I left Phallus Town to get our journeys underway correctly.
Course, I feel we could’ve done without all the pomp and circumstance and all that crap...
(------)
“Okay, Ranma Sextome, Level Ten Tamer and Ryoga Hobiki, Level Thirty-Two tamer of Phallus Town...” Stroaks said as he leaned over onto a gold-plated jewel-encrusted crutch, his left leg in a cast... And Ranma noticed he was sporting one hell of a black eye. “Do you two have your PokéDexs?”
“Check!” Both Ranma and Ryoga saluted as they held up their PokéGirl Dictionary/GPS/PDA/License/Etc.
“PokéBelt with six complimentary PokéBalls?" Professor Stroaks asked.
“Check!” Ranma said as he motioned to the PokéBalls on his belt.
“But Professor, my PokéBalls are all used up and not complimentary,” Ryoga whined.
The Professor pouted. “Boy, I have NEVER deviated from this speech for the past twenty years, so just say ‘check’ or ‘yes’ and we’ll continue!”
Ryoga blinked his eyes a few times in surprise before mumbling, “Uh... Okay?” The Eternal Lost Tamer let off a nervous chuckle.
“Did you boys pack all your clothing?” Nodoka asked seriously. “And did you get the extras I gave you to give your girls.”
Grinning widely, Ryoga said, “Oh yeeeaaaaaaaah...” His lecherous smile was wide as he thought about getting his Alpha into THAT get up. Checkers was going to look SOOO sex-AY!
“Uh... Check,” Ranma said a little less enthusiastically. His mother had taken what she HAD packed Ranko and given her an even skimpier set of lingerie. Hell, Ranma wasn’t sure ‘lingerie’ would cut it for a description.
“Hey!” Stroaks said in indignation. “I’ll have you know I can do this well enough by myself.”
The Samurai pokéwoman nodded her head. “I know, but the lingerie isn’t part of regulation Taming Gear. I want to make sure they have it.”
The Pokégirl Researcher blinked his eyes. That did make sense “Well, to continue, Jahana Corp PokéWorks Backpack with camping supplies?”
“Check!” Ranma and Ryoga answered said as they motioned to the large backpacks they were shouldering, Ryoga’s looking a little worse for wear.
“Money?” Stroaks asked. Even though in his own opinion, he was better off than both of them.
“Check!”
“PokéGirl Alphas?” Mahogany inquired.
“Mew!” “Woof!”” Came the simultaneous cry from Tigress and Growltit from where they stood by the side of their masters.
“Well,” Professor Stroaks started, “Then, as PokéGirl Researcher of the highest caliber, and your sponsor, I must say that-”
Stroaks then held up his hand, catching a ceramic mug that had been thrown at him. “HA! Thought you could get me again, didn’t you? Well, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on-”
“Stroaks! I Screw You!” Nodoka cried out as she throw a rather large stone lantern garden ornament at the good, (perverted) PokéGirl Researcher.
The already somewhat broken man twitched underneath the heavy concrete sculpture. “...Me...” He groaned as he let off another spasm.
The Vaporita slowly looked over at the Samurai with a wide-eyed expression. “Damn, you’re good.”
Nodoka just smirked a little as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You learn quite a bit when you’re a veteran to the world of PokéGirl Tamers, Rita.”
Ranma blinked his eyes in surprise as he stared at the Vaporita in shock. “Your NAME is Rita!?”
“Yeah,” The Vaporita said as she nodded her head. “Something you should’ve established by now, huh?”
(------)
I think I’m STILL in shock from finding out her name was Rita. Seriously, how unimaginative can you get with names?
But at least Rita was kinda fun to hang around with. Kinda reminded me of how Akane and I were... At least, how I remember us to be in Nerima. Only when we pushed each other’s buttons, we weren’t trying to kill each other.
And Rita is a heck of a lot more fun to be around with than a lot of other PokéGirls I know. The majority of Ryoga’s Harem is okay... But Cammy keeps hogging my Kits!
(------)
“Mew, mew, mew, mew, MEW!” Both Ranko and Hotaru mewled happily as the AssassinCammy gave them tight squeezes.
“So CYUTE!” Cammy chortled with glee as she continued to nuzzle and hug the sweet little kits.
Off to the side, Ranma stared at the scene, his right eye twitching. Ryoga lay on the ground unconscious, a little trickle of blood running from his nose. Cute really seemed to get to the guy.
(------)
As does Checkers...
(------)
“Mew, mew, mew, mew, MEW!” Both Ranko and Hotaru mewled happily as the Growltit gave them gentle licks and kisses as she hugged the,.
“So adorable!” Checkers praised as she continued to cuddle with the sweet little kits.
Off to the side, Ranma right eye twitching erratically.
“Ugh...” Ryoga groaned as he started to sit up. “What hit...” His eyes widened as he saw the sight and he collapsed back onto the ground in a spray of nasal capillary explosion.
(------)
With all the times he passed out, he’s really made getting through Route One a hassle.
And worse, when he wasn’t passing out, he was somewhat getting lost...
(------)
“Ryoga, I don’t think you should be going that way…” Ranma said slowly as Ryoga was walking off in another direction.
The Growltit nodded her head in agreement. “Master, we really should be going North...”
“I am heading North!” Ryoga said as he continued moving.
Ranma shook his head. “No, you’re heading Southeast, which leads towards the edge of a...”
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
“...Cliff...” Ranma groaned.
(------)
We spent two days searching for him. We should’ve just continued on, but nooooo... Checkers wouldn’t let us abandon him for dead. We did find him though, so we were back on our travels.
Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse as Ryoga decided to check out his latest acquisition he got from Prof. Stroaks.
(------)
“MASTER!” Hotaru wailed as she ran behind him for cover.
Startled, Ranma tried to look behind him at the shivering Panthress Pokékit. “Hotaru! What’s wrong?”
Looking past Ranma, Hotaru pointed to the Foxx. “Sakura’s trying to eat me!”
The pale blue-haired fox placed her hands on her hips and huffed indignantly. “Oh, I am NOT trying to eat you. I just want to eat your liver. There’s a difference!”
“WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Hotaru wailed as she hugged onto Ranma from behind.
Blinking her eyes in surprise, Sakura asked, “What? Was it something I said?”
(------)
So I’ve been letting Hotaru cuddle with me every night, along with Ranko to keep her safe from that rather odd Foxx.
Sakura keeps telling us she’s trying to eat Hotaru because the only way to even out her levels will be to eat the liver of a pokégirl with high magical content. But Pantrhesses AREN’T Magic-Type PokéGirls...
Oh well. The first leg of this farce is almost over. Five days later, and we’re just outside of Viridick City. I understand we gotta be careful here. Place is under heavy Influence of Noir, Azure, and Amethyst Leagues.
Still, it’ll be the first sign of civilization we’ve seen in nearly a week because of Ryoga. And it’s supposed to have a Gym here.
Time for me to get a Badge!
Signing off for now,
Ranma Saotome
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(Posted Mon, 01 Aug 2005 16:28)
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