"Fred, you never said a truer word. It was superb. Now it comes to a huge problem we have to face, however."
"And what problem would that be?"
"How, my dear sibling, are we going to top this prank?"
"Ahh, indeed, that bears cogitating upon." They toasted each other with glasses full of pumpkin juice.
Up at the main table, Professor McGonagall couldn't find her bra anywhere. (Ginny had it, having scooped to pick it up on her way out, after having pranked her teacher's ass with an itch just to get in on her brothers' fun).
The lady teacher was never more glad in her life to see Professor Dumbledore come into the room, training most of the Hogwarts staff. "Albus, did everything go alright? Did you find the missing students? Are they unhurt?"
"Yes, yes, they're all fine. Snape is leading a small team from Hogsmead toward them right this moment using 'Point Me' charms. However, I must inquire. The Kodachi girl, did you get everything settled away with her? And with Harry?"
"Yes, of course Albus. They're taken care of, and everyone has been Sorted, though the students did get a bit rowdy toward the end with so many of the teachers missing."
"Understandable, Minerva, perfectly understandable from their point of view. This was a rare opportunity for exercising post-summer mischief before getting down to their studies. We must be tolerant."
"Easy for you to say, Albus." McGonagall took a sip of treacle toffee juice and gave herself another serving of stoat, turning her attention around herself, looking for an opportunity to leave the table and find some time to correct her current undergarment difficulties.
In the background, Nodoka was chatting. "...and our underwear was a bit old and ratty. Just as a woman never wears B-list undies on a date she thinks might end up with said undies being viewed, no self-respecting woman wants some strange elf rifling through her luggage and getting a look at frayed laces or seams that aren't seemly. So we had to buy all new."
"Professor Malfoy," McGonagall smoothly interjected. "Do you think you might look after my duties for a moment? I'm afraid that I must excuse myself on urgent, personal business."
"Of course," the redhaired new teacher nodded.
McGonagall nodded gladly and swiftly left the room.
Dumbledore waited for her to return, but after half an hour concluded that she might not, so he stood and rang his spoon against his glass several times, silencing the hall. "Now that we are all fed and watered, I have some start-of-term announcements to make. First, as you will all note, Professor Quirrel has not rejoined us this year. Over the vacation he took hold of an opportunity to get some field experience in the forests of Albania and came over all dead, so I'm afraid we had to give him the year off. In his place you will find an excellent returning teacher, an old member of our staff, Professor Nodoka Malfoy."
There was some scattered applause.
Dumbledore nodded, encouraging that positive reaction. "Yes, yes. She will be taking over the Defense Against the Dark Arts post hopefully for a very long time. And with us, you will find joining our school at the same time, is her daughter Ranko Malfoy, who if I recall correctly has become our first dual-house student in approximately five hundred years. I'll be sure to tell the rest of you what that means as soon as I know myself. I'm afraid this came upon us rather unexpectedly, but we shall overcome our surprise."
His eyes twinkled as he lowered the right hand and raised the left. "Also, joining us this year for the first time is Cologne of the Joketsuzoku - a village of Chinese Amazons. You will find her a strict disciplinarian and a font of useful information. She will be replacing Professor Binns, who has also been removed from our staff on account of his death, as our History of Magic instructor."
This time the applause were heartfelt from the older students, who'd found Binn's boring lectures intolerable and completely uninformative.
"One final note before you all go to your beds, a colony of screaming, flesh eating ghouls has taken up residence in our basement. Until we get time to clear them out, please go out of your common rooms in groups of no less than four to prevent being messily devoured. That is all."
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(Posted Fri, 29 Jul 2005 09:29)
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