"What a pity."
Mousse snorted. More petty gossiping. Nothing that interested him of course. He was just out enjoying the afternoon air, with a nice cup of jasmine tea. Those two were spoiling the whole atmosphere. He was trying to calm down and sort things out, as turning into a zombie girl with cold water was terribly unsettling.
"He's a real hunk too."
Behind thick glasses, Mousse rolled his eyes. How pathetic. Just because they couldn't get satellite or cable TV here, everyone had to be such wagtongues. He was going to be a man of the world, just so he could claim Shampoo once and for all. Some high tech explosive duck eggs for example. The gunpowder ones raised a stink and lacked a certain punch.
"So now he's won Shampoo. Lucky girl."
Mousse set his cup down.
"She'll be away from the village for a whole year as this guy's personal slave."
Mousse shook slightly.
"I saw the look she gave him earlier. I have a feeling he's going to get tried out as Amazon husband material before the first month is out."
Mousse twitched.
"Yup. Ah, if only I were one hundred and ten years younger. What did they say that boy's name was again?"
"Lawn Mat? No, that wasn't it. Luan? Wan? You know my hearing isn't what it used to be."
"Well, I expect by the end of the year there'll be wedding invitations and we can just read the boy's name then. Was he the one with the bandana?"
"Yes, yes, I think so."
"ARGHHHHHHHHHH!" declared Mousse, rushing off to find some strange boy with a bandana for stealing his bride!
"What was that?"
"Oh, that was just that boy Mousse. You know the one that goes declaring his love to pigs and cows and the occasional squirrel?"
"Oh THAT boy. You know. I think the boy with the bandana was someone different. I think Lawn Mat was the one with the pigtail."
Ryoga tried not to glare. Tried not to look hostile. Tried not to breathe. Most of all he tried not to look at the girls who were checking out his muscles.
"(THERE YOU ARE!)" declared a male voice as someone leapt in, grabbing a girl and grappling her. "(SHAMPOO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!)"
"What did he say about Shampoo?" asked Ryoga.
Mousse focussed in on the blur. Was that a bandana? It was! "(DIE CRETIN!)"
Ryoga whipped out his umbrella to block. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!"
"Japanese, huh?" asked Mousse, orienting on the boy. "You again?! First you turn me into some zombie-girl, now this! For stealing my Shampoo, you will die!"
"I didn't touch your damn shampoo!" declared Ryoga, blocking another stream of throwing knives. "I've got my own!"
"HOW DARE YOU!" said a thoroughly enraged Mousse, producing twin swords. "How can you say you've got Shampoo!"
"I use shampoo every night," protested Ryoga. "If it wasn't mine, I wouldn't take it."
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" declared Mousse, his attacks going completely wild now.
The previously grappled girl recovered from her shock, grabbed a burning torch from a holder, and proceeded to demonstrate the fine art of repeated clubbing with a burning object to the grappler.
Mousse crashed to the ground, smouldering slightly.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" declared Ryoga, leaving as quickly as he could find his feet (two minutes) and run.
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(Posted Sat, 08 Oct 2005 09:34)
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