One of the several things Hazama Kuroo, AKA Dr. Blackjack in the Muggle world and known under a rather different name in the Wizarding one, could never understand about his foster daughter and assistant was just why she seemed to need to squash her face with her hands like that when she was upset or annoyed or just plain tense. Not to mention the "Acchonburike" business...
But she was safe.
Safe.
That was the important thing.
"All right, all right, Pinoco. Stop trying to choke me now...woff..."
And stop that smirking, Snape, damnit.
"But you're OK, chen-chei?"
"Yes, Pinoco, I'm all right."
Though how long that state of affairs was going to last...
He almost groaned as he saw Snape reach out, and slip the little hair tye with the grinning red goldfish back into her hair. That had better not be tampered with, Snape, damn you...
That damned bloody smirk.
"--Well, now that this little reunion is over..."
Snape blinked and looked away as the door slammed opened unceremiously.
"Here is your bloody dog, and here are the goldfish, and I've put statis charms on that kitchen garden of yours. Happy now?"
"--Ralgo!"
Hazama blinked, and blinked again, trying to keep the yellow mongrel part-crup from crushing both him and Pinoco, not to mention licking them to death. And...
No, no, Pinoco, keep on playing with Ralgo, don't look up now...
Not that she ever heard any of his unvocalized wishes at all. Not about things like this, anyhow.
Pinoco looked right, and left. Left and right...
"---Acchonburikeee??"
"--A Timeturner, Snape? --Cute."
The second Snape snorted at that, looking more like a big-beaked crow then ever.
"Yes, yes, try saying that when you really have to smash 56 hours into one day, you imbecile. I am going home to take a nap, do you mind?"
"...Not at all. Be my guest."
The first Snape poked the floating goldfish bowl with a resigned attitude.
"--Oh, and I've closed up that house of yours, turned off the gas and electricity, and stopped the newspapers for the time being. I hope you don't mind?"
He probably should be glad that this Snape hadn't seemed to think that burning it to the ground was a good idea, he supposed...
"And I haven't tampered, hexed, or done anything at all to any muggles around the place. Or non-muggles. Or non-humans. Of whom there were several. I hope you're content, now? --Good, then. I bid you good night."
Snape number two stalked off with a bang.
The first Snape looked at him. And at Pinoco. And the ceiling.
"...56 hours...shiit..."
"And now are you ready to meet my Lord and Master?"
Pinoco blinked.
"Are you going to go away again, chen-chei?"
"I'll...Try not to, Pinoco."
Snape buried his head in his hands.
"--Why am I going to bother to bring the damn dog and goldfish at all if--Oh, never mind, never mind..."
"...I think he's real sick, Chen-chei."
"...Ahh?"
"The Ojii-chan. --He tried to give me candy, but there weren't any left..."
Hazama Kuroo felt slightly faint.
"All right, Pinoco...As long as you're all right."
He hugged her again, then.
"Whatever, Snape. --I'm ready."
"I'd damn well hope so."
Hazama wondered how long it had been since Snape had any sleep at all.
The room was dark and quite, and smelled quite familiar.
The smell of sickness and decay...
"He's here."
Snape sounded resigned.
"Wake up. --Please."
Hazama Kuroo looked at the bed.
And stared.
He couldn't help it.
Any more then he could help doing what he did next.
"--Mr Hazama, Mr Hazama, please stop smacking Severus around with rolled up newspapers..."
"...Ow..."
"--He deserves it. --Sir. And these aren't newspapers, I think."
Whack-a-Snape was just what the doctor ordered. Hell, he was the doctor, he'd just prescribe it to himself.
"......Rolled-up potions magazines are even worse. Please."
Snape looked up at him, slightly meeping but looking not repentant in the least.
Whack-w hack-whack-whack. Maybe he could patent a Whack-a-Snape?
"...Mr Hazama..."
...Ahh. Well.
"...If you say so. ...Headmaster."
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(Posted Wed, 07 Sep 2005 11:00)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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