'I love easy answers. Too bad I don't know anything about hot-wiring a vehicle. Who would've guessed that spending my time in spiritual pursuits would backfire like this? I would've thought that doing good deeds would help my Karma not hurt it.' His thoughts drifted to a wandering monk he'd run into and what he'd said about balance and karma.
"Whoever's listening, I swear that if you want me to then I promise to slack off more and be a bad influence on everyone I know! Just get me out of this!" It wasn't always good and evil that was the balance, it was often something else and if this didn't work he could always try something else.
A small blue Miata screeched to a stop in front of him.
"Thanks for the prompt reply." Shinji muttered before diving into the car and shouting, "Drive, drive, drive or I'll never sleep with you again!" as the car sped off narrowly avoiding a pair of size 150,000 feet.
"Hey!" Misato yelled taking a turn faster than should have been physically possible and almost tossing Shinji out of the still open door, "You know damn good and well that using sex as a weapon destroys relationships, and I would never be so cruel as to do that to you!"
Shinji had just managed to close the door and buckle his belt nodded "You're right. I apologize. I don't know what I was thinking. How about I make it up to you by promising to give you two orgasm for every one you give me?"
"Four!" Misato declared, taking the car up onto the sidewalk to avoid a blast crater without slowing down.
"Too greedy. Three!" Shinji fired back trying to avoid thinking about dying in a fiery wreck.
"Deal!" Misato shouted with a large grin on her face as she shook his hand.
The grin frozen and faded as she took in their present situation.
"Ummm... Shinji?" She asked nervously.
"Yes, Misato?" Shinji grinned.
"When did we start dating?"
"You've forgotten already?" Shinji's eyes became suspiciously bright and his lower lip quivered as he gazed into her eyes.
"No!" Misato denied, shaking her head furiously and looking back at the road, just in time to swerve around a construction sign, " I just wanted to... reminisce with you. Yeah, reminisce!"
"OK." Shinji nodded all smiles again. "It all started when I got a letter from the head of Nerv, a real rat bastard I like to call pig fucker."
"Your father?" Misato questioned, sensing that Shinji might not get along with the commander.
"I prefer the term pig fucker. It's much more descriptive of my feelings towards the old animal raper." Shinji said cheerfully.
"Anyway..." Misato said, steering him back to the story.
"So after setting fire to everything he sent me and pissing on the ashes, my sensei informed me that I had no choice but to go, so the next thing I knew I was on a train heading out here. I was given a picture of the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen in my life as the person I was to contact," Shinji grinned at the blushing Misato ,"but instead of finding a ravishing beauty when I arrived, I found a deserted city and a giant purple monster trying to step on me. I thought I was dreaming for a minute it was so Freudian and if all that wasn't bad enough, a bunch of helicopter showed up firing missiles that blew up everything but the monster."
Shinji grinned at her as she tried to whistle innocently, like she wasn't over two hours late picking him up.
"So while surrounded by death on all sides, with no hope of escape, I swore that if a beautiful woman were to save me, I would become her devoted slave bending to her every whim!" Shinji proclaimed.
" Devoted slave... every whim?" Misato looked completely stunned for a moment before a sly little smirk found its way to her face. A vision of a chibi version of herself relaxing while being waited on hand and foot popped into her head.
"Complete and utter," Shinji agreed, "of course after another five minutes a missile blew past me from less than five feet away and I downgraded her from Mistress to girlfriend whom I would give much nookie to."
"Damn!" Misato cursed. Having a devoted slave sounded like so much fun.
"Just be glad you got there when you did." Shinji said with a mock stern expression on his face, as he scratched a certain kitten hidden in his hair under it's chin.
"Why?" She asked, taking several more turns at speeds Nascar drivers wouldn't have tried.
"Because in another two minutes I'd have been making you sleep on the couch for so long..." He drawled off, trying to keep a grin off his face.
"Hey! I thought we agreed that withholding sex was a relationship killer." Misato shot him a heated glare.
"Yes we did. You are completely right about that. This is just what I was thinking at the time. I promise to never withhold sex from you as long as you promise the same." Shinji grinned trying to sound contrite.
"OK." Said a mollified Misato.
Misato groaned when she realized just what she had agreed to.
Shinji quietly snickered to himself. This was much more fun then acting like a wuss or any of the other masks he'd worn to keep people from getting too close in public. And for once it wasn't likely he would be sent away for making friends. His father obviously needed him for something...
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(Posted Thu, 18 Jan 2007 14:42)
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