Hi. I’m Keitaro Urashima. Also known as ‘pervert’, ‘baka’, ‘URASHIMA!’, ‘That-Guy-That-I-Hate-So-Much’, ‘Gary’, and other names I don’t really like saying. And I’m the Avatar of the Phoenix god Thyatis. As well as a Phoenix.
You might be wondering how did I get to become a Phoenix. Well, it all started with another one of Su’s inventions. She had built some kind of gate-thing-a-ma-gag that was supposed to send her to another dimension. However, right before that happened, I was accidentally punched by Narusegawa and got sent instead. That was quite bad, really, as I landed in some freaky place where there was no technology and people ate with their hands. Quite a bad place for Su, indeed.
So, as I tried to fit in the village I was stuck in (I really try to forget my memories of that place. I still have nightmares with those damp caves), I was attacked by a bunch of Orcs and left to die. Only I didn’t.
As my conscience was leaving that realm, I heard a voice. Well, actually it was some sort of squawking. It belonged to Thyatis, the Phoenix god of Arton (the name of the country I was in). Apparently, there was some guy named Bahamut (who, I discovered some time after, was a Dragon God) who was collecting plenty of Avatars for himself. After some half-Div convinced them to open up and meet other people more, they found out that fact. So, Thyatis-sama (and more than three fourths of the Pantheon) didn’t want to be left behind and started to take avatars for himself as well. And guess who was the first one chosen?
Because of the fact that I lived in Hinata-sou, a place with hot springs (Thyatis is the God of Ressurection and Fire), he gave me a special gift. Instead of being just a typical old fire Phoenix, I became a water Phoenix. Fun, huh? It mainly affects my powers, but I’d say that they aren’t too bad. I mean, I could be dead by now, couldn’t I?
My powers are relatively simple. Physically-wise, I can turn into a half-bird: grow a beak, my feet turn into a bird’s (but they are much stronger), my arms turn into wings (a side-effect of turning into a Phoenix. I don’t get arms), and there’s a tail to add the effect. My eyes and ears get much sharper too. Of course, that’s when I don’t turn into a full Phoenix. Also, I’m even more immortal than I was before. While I could just heal super fast before, now I can even be frozen, shattered, buried deep underground (like a dwarfish mine) and I’ll just heal by my own. Also, I can make create water out of water (for example, I can take an ice cube and make a water fountain out of it), and use it as I want to, but it exhausts me quickly.
My natural size is now 10 meters, or a large house. I’m not that sure. My body’s molecules can adjust the humidity around me, as well as the temperature (yes, I can make it snow in the hottest day of Summer) and my body is very malleable. Also, I can’t be poisoned in any way, fire or electricity doesn’t hurt me, and I can release a water jet with enough pressure to crush steel. Most of these don’t affect me in human form, but I still have this annoying capacity to get in very awkward situations with women. Also, I can’t touch anything that’s a sponge or similar, or I’ll dehydrate very fast. I won’t die for real, but it’s awkward to wake up a week later knowing you were killed by a freaking SPONGE.
Anyway, after I got turned into a Phoenix Avatar, I was sent into some random universe to talk to a scientist who had perfected time-space traveling. I spent some time with him and learned quite a lot. He took me to the Multiverse’s Eldest Shrink™. Took me a while to sort out my insecurity problems, my very lackluster attention, and, of course, my troublesome mishap attraction. That last one is something I never wanted to see, hear, or talk about now that I reflected on it.
After that, I went to (more like ‘was thrown into’, in my opinion) an ‘S&S’ – that’s Swords & Sorcery, the typical feud-magical universe – to learn how to fight. Unfortunately, I’m too much of a pacifist to use a decent weapon like a sword or a scythe, so I ended up having to stick with, guess what, a rod. At least it was a magical rod with the power to cause major damage to my enemies. I still have it, with the rest of my hoard.
Yeah, I do have a hoard. Unlike most gods of the Pantheon, who either ban you from having one or force you to give it all away to ‘charity’ (‘charity’, in this case, being almost always your boss), Thyatis-sama doesn’t have that much of a restriction on this point. As long as I give some of it to every temple of his I go to, he won’t bother me about it.
So, on to my hoard. It’s huge. I could list you all of its contents, but I fear you’d be dead twenty times sequentially before I was done. So, basically, I got the basics. Gold and jewels (enough to make a mansion out of and add the furniture to it), a spaceship or two, several reprogrammed robotic bugs that work on a pyramid man, and, of course, my, um, ‘personal servants’. As they call themselves. I still don’t get how I can be their size.
I’ve had a few run-ins with Bahamut’s avatars, and I must say that I’m impressed. Most of them are very powerful fighters, magically or otherwise. There is that girl with the ponytails and the giant sphere fortress, but after being personally killed by the others for cutting off some of her hair for study, I must say I’m not impressed. The stupid part is that they asked her to BLOW on me! I was smelling like candy for weeks after that!
Although the attraction was nice.
So, after a long time I wasn’t really interested on taking note of, I’ve finally found the track back to my old realm. Thankfully, my pocket jumper is fully charged, so if anything goes wrong, I can just hop back to it.
I wonder how will the others react?
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(Posted Wed, 05 Oct 2005 23:19)
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