The aforementioned Chinese Vikings were, actually, Taiwanese. Back in 952 a group of Vikings led by Olaf The Directionally Challenged had gone a'viking, trying to find Valhalla. Mainly because one of Olaf's Rowdy Horde (as they were called at the time) was a gambling man named Djim who felt he had a system whereby he could win at dice with the jotun. Naturally, they wanted to share this secret with the gods, pinch a few valkyrie butts, and quaff ales with the Aesir as they shared this great secret.
One of the areas they had passed through had been the Bayankala Mountain Range, Qinghai Province. Originally they had thought they had found Valhalla, and they partied down with a bunch of Chinese Amazons. The Vikings had admired the first women they'd met who were not "delicate" for being strong fighters and capable drinkers. The Amazons had admired the Vikings for being strong and fierce fighters, and because Olaf might have spent a lot of time wandering around - he was stronger than two oxen.
The end result had been a couple of Vikings had stayed, and some Amazons had left.
Eventually the Chinese Vikings settled into an island which would one day be Taiwan, but kept the occasional contact with their distant relatives. The Vikings settled down and eventually became one of those weird little villages that left anthropologists reaching for bottles of Tums or Scotch, depending on their preference.
However, none of this was particularly relevant, save to a flotilla of Chinese junks and Viking longboats that were currently en route to a tiny little island formerly known as Piku-Piku.
There was also a hidden village in what was once Viking ancestral lands, where a nearly-blind Chinese martial artist named Mousse had just escaped only to find himself trapped somewhere else. He had no idea about the weird bicycle with the huge front wheel. He had no idea why everyone here had no name but a number. He had no clue as to why they all called him "Number Thirty Seven." He did not appreciate the large weather balloons that growled and chased him around every time he tried to escape.
Completely unconnected at present, was the presence of some hidden ruins on the lunar surface and a thoroughly miserable little old man there. Said old man had found an ancient queen's panty drawer, but attempting to dive into said collection had resulted in a huge puff of dust and a decided lack of panties. After two hours and fifty-three minutes of trying to glomp a holographic image of the queen, Happosai was doing something he rarely did. Sulking. Also thinking, but mainly sulking.
Then there was this individual who decided some saber-rattling was in order.
The People's Republic Of China had long claimed the island of Taiwan as their own and that those who had fled there rather than submit to their own slaughter were traitors and criminals. Every so often the "Old Men" sent a little reminder to those that they still considered that island to be theirs and that government to be an illegal one.
Piku-Piku had no to little value to China or the rest of the world. Someone coming in and conquering that flyspeck wasn't going to do more than generate yawns in the UN Security Council. So, reasoned various individuals, there would likely be no serious implications to a few "practice manuevers" and such.
The result was a small military group moving at much better speeds than the Chinese Vikings that were heading towards Piku-Piku with the idea of "liberating" it.
One could predict events transpiring there with little difficulty, such as:
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(Posted Sun, 13 Nov 2005 19:47)
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