“Hey, what gives?” the white mooncat whispered.
“I don’t know why, but Setsuna does not want us to show ourselves right now,” his black companion whispered back.
“How do you know?”
“She gave me ‘the look.’”
“You mean the ‘if you even think about going there I’m going to make you regret your existence for all eternity’ look?”
“That’s the one.”
“Yipe. Looks like we’ll have to talk to her about meeting Ranma later. Until then, I’m heading outside—my leg is cramping.”
Luna got a sly look on her face. “You want me to rub it for you?”
Artemis’ eyes boggled at that—Luna was almost never that forward. Still, he was able to regain his composure enough to make an intelligent reply. “Uh-huh…” Okay, so it wasn’t that intelligent, but Luna understood him, and isn’t that what really matters?
Setsuna’s friends were rather clearly split into two subgroups: in one group were her roommates, Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru, while the rest were in another group that seemed to be centered around Usagi. That was the group the male-once-again martial artist was speaking with at the moment.
“So the Amazons are a matriarchal society?” asked Ami, who was beginning to suspect that the tribe might be a remnant of the Silver Millennium.
“Well, it’s kinda like that. Ya see, that’s what it is technically, but in reality, it don’t really matter, ’cause everyone there’s a woman.”
That was certainly confusing. “You mean that there aren’t any men?” asked Makoto, who looked ready to recoil in horror at the concept.
“Well, there are male Amazons, but they’re considered women.”
“Huh?”
“One of the elders explained it ta me. Basically, an Amazon is considered a woman after she goes through her first… ya know…”
“…her period?” Rei finished for him.
“Yeah. But around the time when they started figurin’ out cures, some guy gets the bright idea ta jump in the Nyannichuan and avoid hot water for a month. Then after ‘she’ had her time, ‘she’ got the curse removed, and then claimed that he was entitled to all the rights of a woman, despite the fact that he was physically male.”
“Did it work?”
“Well, apparently, there was a lot of opposition, but eventually it was decided that that was a good way to keep the male Amazons from leaving the tribe. So now all male Amazons do that when they hit puberty, so according to the tribal law, all Amazons are women, including the men.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah. Although, I guess that’s one reason Pops wanted ta hightail it outta there.”
“Why, did they want you to go through with it?” Usagi had also been wondering about the Amazons, especially since her hairstyle, which was relatively unique in Japan, was actually very common there.
“Well, eventually, yeah, but ya gotta do a lotta preparin’ ta make sure someone like me avoids hot water for a month—mosta the time, they just lock the curse until the month's over, so most guys don’t gotta worry about that. I wasn’t really interested at first, but after one of the elders explained things ta me, I don’t think I’d mind it too much. I mean, if I really am stuck with this curse, I figure I gotta learn ta live with my female body, an’ a month as a girl would do that, right? On top of that, if I was a woman, I’d be allowed ta learn some of their Martial Arts style, which is really effective if ya ask me.”
“But your father decided that the two of you should leave, rather than wait a month for you to go through the ceremony?”
“Uh, not exactly—I think he wanted us ta stay there as well, at first, anyway. I guess ’cause of the trainin’ I could get done But that changed about a week later. See, the reason he wanted ta leave was ’cause of Ti Xiu.”
“Tissue?”
“Yeah, ya see, the Amazons got this other law, that says if an outsider defeats an Amazon of the opposite sex, then the two gotta marry. Used ta only apply ta men who defeated Amazon women, but now that half of the women are men, they had ta change that. Anyway, after ’bout a week at Joketsuzoku, Pops got inta a fight with Tissue over some food or somethin’…”
“I get it. Your dad defeated this girl, but skipped to Miami before he could stare down the barrel roll.”
The others stared at Minako. Finally, Rei spoke up. “Damn, Mina-chan, that’s a doozy, even for you. I mean, I can usually figure out what you’re trying to say when you mangle your metaphors, but that was just totally incomprensible.”
Minako blushed. “Uh, I meant that Ranma’s dad left rather than get married to this person.”
With that cleared up, Ranma continued. “I guess, though I don’t think that’s the problem… ya see, according ta Amazon law, the two of them are already married right now.”
“No ceremony?” Usagi had been obsessed with wedding ceremonies (or the lack thereof) all night.
“Whaddya think the fight was? Anyway, Ti Xiu wants Pops ta be an upstanding member of Amazon society, which means he’s gotta become a ‘woman.’”
“So he left so he wouldn’t have to be cursed for a month and have his period?” Ami asked, trying to summarize what she’d learned.
“I guess. Pops is real concerned with manliness for some reason, and havin’ a period ain’t exactly the most masculine thing that can happen ta a guy.”
“I guess not.”
Suddenly, there was a high pitched squeal of feedback as Mamoru finally got the karaoke machine working. It was time for some fun.
It started out innocently enough. The Inners sang some J-Pop, Mamoru made for a surprisingly good Frank Sinatra, Setsuna could actually perform Shirley Bassey songs almost as well as Shirley Bassey, and Ranma stubbornly refused to sing under any circumstances.
Then Haruka got up. Ranma had wondered where he’d been; apparently, the racer had been in the bathroom putting an obscene amount of gel in his hair. Ranma wasn’t sure why, but when Haruka walked to the front of the room with the spiked ’do and leather jacket, his wife suddenly groaned and put her face her hands.
As the opening guitars came in Haruka turned to the college student next to him and said, “Hey, Mamoru! Crank that sucker up!” And then he started singing.
Ranma wasn’t sure why Setsuna was blushing at first. The song was apparently about a dancer or an angel or something…
And then the chorus came in.
“In the midnight hour
She cried ‘More, more, more!’
With a rebel yell
She cried ‘More, more, more!’”
Setsuna just kept sinking lower and lower into her chair. Haruka needed all of her self-control to keep from laughing—she’d never seen the Senshi of Time so embarrassed before.
Ranma, for his part, still didn’t get it.
As the party wrapped up…
Uh, that was a rhetorical question. Put your hands down. Please.
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(Posted Thu, 15 Dec 2005 21:10)
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