Nabiki arched a eyebrow. "Akane. You realize you can tell me anything? I will tease you, use it to keep you listening when I think you have to, like tonight. But do I really try to hurt anyone?"
Akane told her seriously, "Ranma might think so, but the attention whore doesn't know anything about relationships outside from hating to be neglected." To the blink, Akane went on. "He is a pervert, to me at least. All that attention, all that staring. Blech!" Nabiki started flipping through the bondage periodicals and stroke story collections as Akane had suspected her sister would.
Nabiki looked up nervously after a bit. "Akane, I. I don't quite understand."
Akane sat back and looked away from Nabiki. It made it much more fun to relate these things without seeing reactions. "Yes, you do, sister, it's just not your way. That's all. I don't like complications. I like intimacy. I love the idea of a fuck. A licking. A martial artist. A student. A sex toy. Identity is the problem. Personality is nothing but trouble. Roles. Acts. Sex. Faceless fucks. I get so wet thinking of it. Of fucking, unknown and unknowing of who, or even where. I just want to fade into the action, stop being so complicated."
Nabiki's voice quavered as she asked, "Akane, how, I mean; what got you going like this?" One of the magazines flipped open to a picture of two hooded but luscious Caucasians screwing slowly under bright lights. They were being stroked off to, but the masturbating audience was unidentifiable from that picture. The periodical opened naturally to that page from frequent opening to that point having affected the spine of the volume, Nabiki knew.
Akane said absently, "Mother was so close in our lives, I'm sure. Look what happened with Father when she died. I want love and desire. But I don't want my life to deform anyone. I don't want anyone's life to warp mine, either. Roles and acts. That's what gets me going. Not that kidnapping and training is bad, mind you. As long as they don't make it personal. Remember when Kirin took me? I'd have gladly trained to be his wife, his fuck, whatever, but he kept making it so damned personal!" Akane's tone went a bit flatter. "And Ranma, my dear sweet Kami! All the time his impersonal terms are nothing but insults. If he just blithely called me pet names and forgot to insult me like that, I'd probably be his bitch by now."
Nabiki looked a bit aghast at first as she heard all that, then she nodded. "Damn, it got to you, too. I'd hoped you wouldn't have been stricken like the rest of us, sis. You've seen Kasumi become what she felt Mom was. And me, I try to be anything but, but you? I didn't expect this."
Akane snorted. "Why should you? My personality and the sex are separate. The more so, the better I like it." She looked up as she turned a bit, so that Nabiki could see the glint of humor in face and eye, without Akane actually seeing her older sister.
Nabiki gently asked Akane, "Sis? I know you kind of love Ranma, so why do you hate him too?" Nabiki wasn't like the rest of the family, she knew you could feel two ways about someone at the same time.
"He committed the ultimate turn-off for me, Nabiki. I checked with Cologne once after the issue was settled, and it wasn't the Xi Fang Giao that had me keep forgetting Ranma even seconds after I saw or was told of him. It was my kink." As Nabiki paled a bit, Akane explained, "All Shampoo did was erase my memory of Ranma to that point. Had Ranma tried to mold me into someone new, I'd maybe have recovered, maybe not. I can tell you that with this kink of mine, I would not have recovered and hated Ranma, as was the original plan. Ranma ruined his chances with me all on his own, I'm afraid. He forced me to be personal against my every impulse."
Nabiki swallowed hard. "You're saying he committed blasphemy. As far as your own faith and mindset go."
Akane smiled, rather bitterly. "He made it personal. He's compelled to make it personal, thanks to that shit-head of a father of his. I likely could have just blanked my self out and been the bride at that last wedding attempt, faded into being Ranma's wife after he brought me back to life at Jusendo. But the wedding attack made it personal. I'll never be right for him. Or for anyone, as long as that sense of self is there. Sorry."
Nabiki sighed heavily. "No wonder you liked that boy in the woods."
Akane told Nabiki, "No kidding! I wasn't thinking of sex just then, but of course you're completely correct. Question is, how the hell do I get what I need, and how can we honestly get Ranma into the family?"
Nabiki smirked. "I have a few contingency plans for the latter. In the meantime, to get you off, sis, I'm thinking:"
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(Posted Fri, 10 Mar 2006 05:11)
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