Eventually, Ranma and his impromptu entourage arrived at the parking lot of a shopping mall. “Is this the place?” asked Haruka.
“Yeah, Akane’s meetin’ me at the food court.”
Inside the mall, there was (as one would expect) a wide variety of stores, in addition to various kiosks selling calendars, knickknacks and cell phones. Like many malls, the food court was in the center (the idea being that a hungry customer had to walk past a whole bunch of stores before he or she could get something to eat). The space was fairly open; other than tables for eating the only thing in the center was a large fountain (which Ranma was determined to stay away from). Overhead was a large skylight which wasn’t exactly doing a good job of providing extra light at the moment, due to the rapidly gathering clouds.
Haruka was a bit nervous. Not about meeting Akane, but because some of the stores they’d gone by to get here stocked the kinds of dresses Michiru liked (i.e., very pretty and very expensive). Haruka still owed her significant other one from the night of Ranma’s return (and not just because of their bet). “So, where’s Akane?” the androgynous blonde asked, hoping to get her mind off of the impending liposuction of her wallet.
“She oughta be around here somewhere…” said Ranma as he scanned the area looking for his friend.
“Yoohoo! Ranma!” came a voice from behind the group. Ranma turned and saw a girl with short dark blue hair waving toward him. It took him a few moments before he remembered that Akane cut her hair at some point during his trip.
“Wait up! I’m comin’!” the martial artist called back. He then turned to his housemates and motioned for them to follow him, then started moving towards the familiar voice. When they were close enough, Akane ran up and gave Ranma a hug. “How are you doing, Ranma? Married life treating you alright?”
“Uh, yeah, it’s great. Um, I’d like ya ta meet some of Setsuna’s friends… they live in the same house as us. Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru, this is Akane.”
After the customary round of “hellos” and “how do you dos”, as well some very brief biographies (in which Haruka made sure Akane knew what her gender was), it was time to get down to business.
Michiru decided that it would probably be best for the two of them to have some privacy. Besides, that concert was coming up, and she still required a new outfit. “If you two don’t mind, I’m going to do some shopping… and you’ll come with me, won’t you Haruka?”
“Yes,” her lover resignedly replied.
“Is it okay if I stay here with Ranma-papa and Akane?” Hotaru may have thought Michiru’s dresses looked pretty, but she thought shopping for them was rather boring—especially since Akane seemed so interesting.
“Alright, but try not to bother them. They’re going to be discussing serious business.”
“Okay.” Haruka and Michiru headed off towards the nearest boutique as the remaining trio watched.
Akane cocked an eyebrow and looked at her friend (and in this context, colleague). “Ranma-papa? Is there something going on I don’t know about?”
For a while, it looked like Ranma was going to respond in his usual manner of getting flustered and putting his foot in his mouth, but fortunately Hotaru answered for him: “It’s just something I call him. My relationship with my real father… it’s not exactly perfect…” This particular comment, while true, was also a candidate for Understatement of the Year.
Akane smile. “Hey, I don’t want to pry into anything unpleasant—I’m not my sister, after all. I was just a little curious. Besides, we’d better move on to other things. I haven’t been hit with Murphy’s Law yet today, and I don’t feel like pressing my luck.”
Ranma certainly agreed with that sentiment. “I hear ya. So, anyway, do ya have any ideas ’bout how ta get our dads ta lay off this marriage stuff?”
“As a matter of fact, I do—or rather, Nabiki got an idea that she told to me.”
“Well, let’s hear it.”
“Um,” interjected Hotaru, “I don’t mean to be a bother, but what exactly is going on here? I’ve overheard a few things, but I’m not sure I understand why your fathers want Ranma-papa to leave Setsuna-mama for you when neither of you want to do that.”
“Well, I suppose it can seem a little confusing to someone who doesn’t know the whole story. Basically, Nabiki thinks that the reason our fathers want us to get married so badly is because they want to unite the schools—the idea is that after we inherit our individual schools, one of our children becomes heir to both schools, thus uniting them when we retire ourselves. You following me?”
“I guess so…”
“Don’t worry if ya don’t understand the whole thing,” said Ranma. “We just found out about it ten days ago ourselves. Our dads’ solution seems pretty simple—probably explains why they want ta go that route.”
“Right. But Nabiki was thinking about this, and she thinks we can convince them to change their minds, or at least ease up a little, by pointing out its problems.”
“Like what?”
“Well, suppose none of our children were interested in the Art—what would happen to the schools then?”
Ranma snorted. “That might work on yer pop, but there’s no way in hell mine would buy it. He’d just tell us ta force our kid ta learn the Art.”
“Maybe, but do you think someone who didn’t care about the Art would be an effective sensei?”
Ranma looked pensive for a moment, then suddenly clarity dawned on his features. “I get it… our old men would want the first Master of the Combined Schools ta be worthy of the title, right?”
Akane nodded. “Well, that’s true, but Nabiki thought of something else—if we forced someone to study the Art, in all likelihood, that person wouldn’t want to teach it at all. If that happened, it would mean that the Tendo and Saotome schools would be united only to die a generation later. Somehow, I doubt that’s what our fathers planned when they came up with this idea.”
“I think it’s safe ta say that’s the last thing on Pops wants ta happen. But that still doesn’t change the fact that we’re s’posed ta unite the schools—how’re we gonna do that without marryin’?”
Akane began grinning—the solution Nabiki had thought of was so obvious that it had stunned her with its sensibility. “Simple. Instead of passing our schools on to one of our children, we pass it on to a student.”
“Huh? Whaddya mean by that?”
“Well, Nabiki has a somewhat complicated series of plans, depending on what happens, but basically, after the two of us start teaching, we keep a lookout for any gifted students who might do equally well in the other person’s school. Then, we have the most promising ones do some cross-training, and when we each a decision, we both name the same person as the heir to our respective schools. You understand?”
“I think so,” Ranma responded. “This way, we’re sure to have an heir that’s interested in the Art, so that problem’s avoided… but won’t this lead to a lotta resentment from our other students? If I put a lotta effort inta learnin’ one particular school, only ta have it taken away by a member of a rival school, I’d be pretty mad.”
“Ranma, we’re hardly rivals.”
“We may not be, but our schools sure are. From what I remember from our sparring session, it seems kinda obvious that one of ’em got developed in response ta the other one. Sure, they both got the same overall philosophy, and a few moves an’ techniques are the same, but the Saotome school is aerial, relyin’ on speed an’ agility…”
“…while the Tendo school is more power based, and I know for a fact that Daddy developed strategies to keep fights on the ground and to reduce your opponent’s maneuverability.”
“Right. So how are we s’posed ta combine two schools that take opposite approaches?”
“I think we should cross that bridge when we get to it… obviously our fathers think it can be done; maybe we can ask them for help once we get them sold on this idea.”
“I guess that’s as good an idea as any.”
Through all of this, Hotaru listened quietly, but with a great deal of interest.
Kuno sighed with relief as the familiar sights of his neighborhood—soon his beloved would be in his arms. Of course, he still had no idea where she was… but that was easily remedied. He had his driver slow down the vehicle, and proceeded to roll down the window so that he might ask a member of his adoring public for assistance.
“You there!”
“Get bent, jerk!”
That was unexpected. Why would anyone be rude to such a noble person as Tatewaki Kuno? This puzzled him for a bit, until the answer came to him: obviously that person did not know of his greatness! After all, it had been some time since he had been a regular denizen of the area—it was quite possible that this person was a recent arrival who had yet to hear of his greatness.
Just then, he saw someone familiar… he didn’t know his name, but he did know that the lad was a member of Akane’s class when he attended Furinkan. “Pardon me, sir.” For a second, Kuno thought he heard the boy cursing under his breath, but he shrugged it off—perhaps he was afflicted with Tourette’s Syndrome, or some other malady. “Do you know where I might find the beauteous Akane?”
“Um, I think she’s at the mall… but don’t tell her I told you so.” The teenager then hightailed it out of the area.
Bob watched as an oddly dressed young man exited the limo, entered the shopping mall, and began making his way through the crowds. This had to be his target; from his haughty demeanor, to his way-too-damned-ornate speech patterns, to the way he demanded that “peasants” get out of his way so that “the Blue Thunder” could see his love, everything about this guy evoked a strong desire to kick him in the nuts. Repeatedly. Of course, Bob didn’t make his move yet—he wanted to be certain this was the right guy.
After several minutes of searching, Kuno finally spotted his beloved seated at a table in the central atrium… and to his horror, she was with the vile Ranma Saotome, sworn enemy of all that is good and pure.
“What is the meaning of this?!”
At Akane’s table, the object of Kuno’s affections put her face in her hands, while Ranma just winced and said, “Aw, crud.”
Kuno strode up to the table. “So Saotome, I see that you have somehow managed to return to the fair ward of Nerima after I banished you three months ago.”
“Ya didn’t do diddly-squat. I left on a trainin’ trip of my own free will with every intention of comin’ back here.”
“Ah, so you decided you needed to train yourself up to properly face me.”
“Why would I need ta do that? I’ve only beaten you every single time we’ve fought.”
“Don’t try to frighten me with your sorcerer’s ways, Saotome. You know full well that I am destined to be the one for the fair Akane Tendo.”
“Really? Is that what she said?”
“Alas, she was unable to fully escape your enchantments during your absence, no doubt because I had to spend a significant amount of time on my studies. But she did manage to state that she was not in love with you.”
“That’s ’cuz she never was in the first place. And I ain’t in love with her.”
Kuno gasped melodramatically. “You would pursue Akane even though you do not care for her?!”
“I didn’t—” Ranma abruptly stopped as he realized he was falling into Kuno’s trap again. “Ya know what? I don’t care. Believe whatever ya want ta believe. That won’t make you any less wrong.”
“Then you concede defeat?”
“Would it make any difference?”
Akane just slunk lower in her chair. Why did Ranma always have to have the last word?
“Um, excuse me,” Hotaru said meekly. “Who are you?”
Kuno started; he hadn’t noticed the frail-looking girl seated with his beloved and nemesis. “Who am I? Why, child, I am Tatewaki Kuno, champion of all things good, chosen by the heavens above to be the destined love of Akane Tendo, the rising star of the college kendo world and the Blue Thunder of Waseda University!” The kendoist raised his bokken aloft in an incredibly clichéd pose, which he held for several seconds. After nothing happened, he turned irately to his pigtailed adversary. “Damn you Saotome! What did you do to my lightning?!”
“We’re indoors, you moron. It probably hit one of the lightning rods on the outside of the building.” With each one of Kuno’s visits to Nerima, Akane became more convinced that his admission to Waseda was the result of a clerical error.
“What?! How dare they?!”
“Yeah, how dare they worry ’bout the safety of their customers when they oughta be helpin’ ya make an ass of yerself.” Ranma didn’t think that Kuno got into any college through a clerical error—no, a clerical error that obvious would never survive without substantial bribing.
Hotaru didn’t show much of a reaction to any of this, but she privately wondered if she and the other Senshi looked that silly when they made their dramatic entrances.
Bob smirked to himself at the antics of the delusional jerk. Somehow, he had just seemed like the type who would loudly refer to himself in the third person. Having verified his target, it was now time to teach the moron a little something about manners. He quickly but calmly walked up to the raving kendoist, ignoring any strange looks he was getting from passers-by (though there weren’t actually that many—from a distance, the arrangement of Bob’s horns looked like a Mohawk, so many of the locals probably assumed he was a punk with an unusually good fashion sense, and this was hardly unusual enough to get the attention of the average Neriman).
Kuno was in the midst one of his favorite tirades (the one where he vowed to single-handedly save Japanese society from the corrupted morals of its jaded youth—naturally, the first and most important step of this plan was to get Akane to date him) when he felt someone tapping his shoulder. “Excuse me, did you say you were Tatewaki Kuno?”
The kendoist didn’t even bother turning around. “Indeed I am, but as you can see, I am rather occupied at the moment, so I must ask that you silently admire my person from afar—” Kuno didn’t get a chance to finish his “eloquent” dismissal, as Bob used the opportunity to backhand him into the fountain in the middle of the food court.
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Kwakerjak
(Posted Tue, 21 Feb 2006 03:31)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.