Nabiki glanced at the spare, dirty room, in which the only piece of furniture appeared to be a fire pit in the middle with a grill over it. “So, this is my room, huh?”
“Uh, yeah… sorry about the mess… and the lack of furniture. Meatwad… he’s kind of a simple guy, you see. Doesn’t need much in the way of possessions.”
“Unlike Master Shake, who apparently wants everything to be his possession.”
“Yeah, about that… you know that you don’t really have to—”
“Be his slave?”
“Yeah.”
Nabiki just chuckled. “It’s really sweet of you to be worried about me, Frylock. It really is. But don’t you worry about it — I know exactly what I’m doing.”
“You sure?”
“Let me put it this way: if I’ve misjudged Shake’s nature, then I probably deserve to be his slave.”
Right on cue, Shake came into view dragging several parcels of luggage behind him. Having only heard the last part of Nabiki’s sentence, he drew his own conclusions. “That’s right…” The luggage was dragged a few inches closer. “Natalie here…” (a few more inches) “may not have proven… that she deserves… such a kind and just… Master… as myself… but I… out of the goodness… of my heart… am willing to give her… plenty… (what did you do, pack rocks in these things?)… of opportunities… to prove herself.” With a heave, he finally put the last of the teenagers’ bags on a pile outside the bedroom door.
“Alright, I’ve finished moving your crap. Now onto the sex.”
“I’d love to, Master, I really would. But shouldn’t my things be inside my room?”
“Alright, I’ve moved your stuff into your room. Now, onto the sex!”
“Aren’t we going to unpack?”
“Arrgh…”
“Okay, I’ve unpacked your things, refolded them, organized them by clothing type and color, cleaned out the closet, and placed all of your things inside. Now, onto the sex!”
“But Master…”
“No buts! Sex now!”
“But where are we going to have sex? I don’t have a bed.”
“We’ll use Frylock’s.”
“Like hell you will,” commented Shake’s roommate.
“Well, then where are we supposed to have sex?”
Nabiki responded, “Actually, in Japan, it’s traditional for the Master to provide all of the furniture necessary for any sexual activities.”
Shake was starting to get irate at his slave’s demands. “Look, Missy. I know you’re used to doing things a certain way back home, but this… is… AMERICA. And we have our own traditions, one of which is that sex slaves obey their Masters unconditionally, and they like it. Got it?”
“I suppose.”
“Good, then make with the sex!”
“Alright… it’s just…”
“What now?!
“Well, it’s just that I was going to invite some of my large-chested bisexual classmates to visit later in the semester, but they prefer to do things the traditional way, you see.”
“Large-chested… how many classmates are we talking, here?”
“I don’t know… 3 or 4.”
“Oh,” replied Shake. “Well, why didn’t you say so? Of course I’m willing to provide you with all the furniture. Give me your credit card, Shake.”
“No.”
“What? Then how am I supposed to get her furniture?”
“Hmmm… I guess you’ll just have to get a job.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo……”
Soun stared at the amorphous glob standing — er, sitting — um, staying in one spot for the time being on his the floor of his family room. His reaction was (from a certain point of view, anyway) perfectly sensible. “Kasumi, what the heck is this thing?”
“I already told you; this is Meatwad, and he’s our exchange student from America.”
“Yes, you’ve already told us that, but what is he?”
“Well, he appears to be a ball of meat approximately two feet in diameter.”
“Oh, that’s just the shape I’m usually in,” Meatwad chirped happily. “I can do other shapes, too.” He then proceeded to demonstrate as he shifted to his igloo and hot dog forms, and then back to a spheroid. “I can also do Wayne Gretzky, but that one kinda makes my back give out.”
There were a few more moments of awkward silence as Meatwad continued flashing his dopey smile to his host family.
“Well, I’m going to take Meatwad’s things up to his room,” said Kasumi.
“Oh, let me help you,” her father quickly interjected.
“Don’t worry about it, father. Meatwad doesn’t have very many things.”
“Are you sure you don’t need help?”
“I’m quite sure. Now, why don’t you stay here and get acquainted?”
“That’s just what I was trying to avoid,” the Tendo patriarch muttered under his breath.
Akane half-glared, half-glanced at her fiancé. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Our exchange student is an anthropomorphic blob of ground meat byproducts. Aren’t you going to make some crack about him being a reject of one of my attempts to cook dinner?”
“Nah. Too easy.”
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(Posted Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:33)
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