Shinji's new deity: A village with no people. [Episode 159433]

“Water, water, everywhere,” muttered Shinji Ikari as he stared out into the endless blue yonder, “and not a drop to drink.”

“Forget about the ocean,” his ‘evil’ conscience implored, “and get back to searching the forest!”

“We can not see anything in the forest from up here, because of all these trees,” his ‘good’ conscience added.  “Please do something about it, Lord Ikari.”

“Suck-up girl’s right.  Burn the trees down, ‘Boss!’”

Shinji sighed.  “We’re trying to find followers, not roast them.  ’sides, I don’t think I can perform fire miracles or nothin’ anyway.”

“That is why we need worshipers,” Rei agreed.  ”We need them to get more powerful if we are to have any chance of getting off of this island.”

“Whatever,” Asuka groused.  “Just pull the trees out of the way.”

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Shinji complained. “We’ve searched this land from shore to shore with only an abandoned settlement to show that anyone ever lived here.”

“Just look harder!” Asuka ordered, her demonic wings fluttering in agitation.  “I refuse to be stuck on this world with only you two for company for all eternity.”

“That would not be very pleasant,” Rei agreed mildly while drifting along beside them in angelic calm.

“Don’t start with me, Angel Doll!” Asuka snarled.  “This is all Shinji fault!  If he hadn’t been playing that god game, we wouldn’t be the only two girls in the world with him.  So get back to work, ‘Boss’.”

“It hardly seems fair to blame you,” Rei observed reasonably, “but you are the only one who can move us about, Leader Ikari.  Please resume the search.”

Shinji muttered darkly to himself as, never-the-less, he obligingly yoinked the cannopy foilage away from the forest and transplanted trees onto the far side of the island. 

“What was that?” Asuka demanded sharply.  “Who do you think you are praying to, God Boy?”

“That’s inspiring,” Rei observed suddenly.  “Perhaps Leader Ikari should listen rather than look.  Concentrate, on hearing the pure prayers of a people who need a god.”

“…and all they’ll get is Shinji, the poor suckers,” Asuka snickered.  “But, yeah, go for it “Boss”  Who knows.  It’s so kookie it might just work.”

“Urhm, well, okay then,” Shinji agreed most doubtfully.  Anything was worth a try.  “Let me just…”

…

Nothing.

…

Nothing.

…

No— Wait.

…

Maybe?

…

“You HEAR anything yet!?”

“Gahk!” Shinji reelled away clutching his ear.

“That wasn’t very nice, Demon Soryu Langley.”

“Oh, go sit on a tree, Angel Doll,” Asuka snapped.

“Would you two just shut the heck up!”

…  Shinji shrank back as shock and hard stares met his outburst.

“P—se– –lp– –s!”

“What was that?“ Asuka demanded with great heat.

“I think it came from over there,” Shinji observed meekly.

“A vortex seems to be forming beside the abandoned village,” Rei added.

“How dare you raise you’re voice at me!” Asuka began to rant.  “… wait?  A what where now?”

“A vortex,” Rei supplied helpfully.

“A portal,” Shinji added as he pulled them close to the swirling white mists forming beside the town centre.

“A way back home?” Asuka demanded hopefully.

“Well, a way to somewhere not here,” Rei corrected.

“Close enough,” Asuka agreed ferverently.  “What are you waiting for, God of Idiots.  Get us out of here, like, now!”