But there was already plenty to be thankful for at the moment, and he'd already known that. He'd given his wife a good night kiss that was thoroughly enjoyable, and was now going to be able to sleep without having to worry about being too cold. Sure, he might have had to sleep in the same room as his father, but he was used to living with the big dumb jerk, so it wasn't exactly something that he wouldn't expect. So, he opened the door to the room, fully expecting to see his father already in there, probably having gone to sleep as soon as he went in.
What he got was both fathers facing the door, with bandanas tied around their heads like cliched versions of thieves. "What the heck are ya doin'?"
"It's really simple, boy," his father answered. "We are going to help you out."
"'Help' me? How?"
"We're going to make it so that you can get to know your fiancee so much better!"
"That doesn't sound good...."
Soun's expectant expression immediately turned sour. "Are you saying that you don't like my daughter now?"
"No, no!"
"Then you do find her attractive?"
The pigtailed boy found himself unintentionally thinking of his wife's body, with its full breasts, slim waist, and long legs, which set his face aflame with a blush. "Yeah, sure I do.... So what?"
"'So'... We're going to make it easier for you."
"I don't understand."
"You're a healthy young man, aren't you, son?"
"Sure am."
"Well, then," the Tendo patriarch told him, "it stands to reason that you would have the strong desires of a true man."
"Okay...."
"Well then, we'll simply have to help you out."
"After all, you can sneak into her room better if you have help," his father told the teen.
"WHAT?!" Ranma blurted.
"Come down, boy. It's all simple. You go into there, and you'll have some private time with her."
"And you two can get to know each other," Soun added.
"And then you two can let nature take its course."
"It's Soun...."
"And Genma's...."
"Operation Get Them Intimate!" the two men chorused.
For his part, Ranma had a simple answer. "Nope. Not happenin'. No way."
"Why not?" Genma asked. "It's not a complicated idea."
"It's also perverted! Sneakin' inta a girl's room like ya wanna have me do ain't exactly the right sorta thing ta do!"
"But she's your fiancee...."
"What would that have ta do with anythin'?!"
"Well, you're already a couple. Anyone would expect you two to want to be together."
"'Xcept we're not gonna be tonight. I'm plannin' on climbin' onta my futon and dreamin' 'bout havin' a pop that makes sense."
"I make sense now," the elder Saotome male stated as he took hold of one of his son's sides.
Soun took the other one. "And we're certain that you'll act appropriately towards my daughter."
"And ya think that this is right by her?" Ranma asked incredulously.
"Certainly. I only want her to be happy in her future married life, and the only way to do that is to get her fiance to spend time with her."
"Ya've gotta be kiddin'...."
"No, I'm not. Think of it as doing something romantic, which shouldn't be a problem for you, since you clearly like her already."
Genma gave a resolute nod. "And we've decided that you're going to strike while the iron's hot."
There were plenty of protests that Ranma wanted to bring up, and he would have... if they hadn't immediately begun hustling him out of the room. By the way that they moved, they forced him to do a crouching walk with them, so that all three of them looked like they were creeping along in a show of stealth. He just felt like an idiot, as they managed to get him to her door before he could come up with a clear thought.
"Ya two have ta stop this now!" he hissed, hunched over just as they were.
"You're too close to your goal now, my boy," his father told him.
"And just what are ya supposed ta do while I'm shoved inta there?"
"We are to keep things going well. Think of us as the backstage workers."
"I'll think of ya as the boneheads, thank ya very much."
"Come on, son," Soun soothed. "Her door is right here, and you can slip in without anyone being any the wiser."
"I'd kinda think that Nabiki'd notice."
"That is the point, isn't it? But you'll be able to surprise her with your visit."
"In which I'd be doin' somethin' that only a pervert would!"
"You would be only doing something perverted if you were aiming to do this simply for pleasure, and to any old girl. Here, you are just paying a romantic visit to the girl who you will spend the rest of your life with."
The Saotome patriarch gave his son a stern look. "So you're going in, boy."
"I am not!" Ranma barked.
"You are so!" the two fathers told him in unison.
"No way!"
"We said so!"
"I said no!"
"You're going into this room!"
"Is he now?" dryly commented a feminine voice. All three males looked up and saw a vaguely amused Nabiki looking back at them.
"Why aren't you in bed, daughter?" her father asked. "I thought that you had already gone to do so."
"I did, Dad, but I got thirsty and wanted to get a drink of water. That isn't a bad thing, is it?"
"No, of course not...."
"Good. So maybe you can tell me just what you were doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"It looks like you are trying to force him to sneak into my room in the dark, like he was some sort of pervert. Now, you wouldn't be doing that, would you?"
Both fathers shook their heads quickly, and hers gave off some nervous laughter. "Why would you think that we would be capable of such a thing?"
"Because we could hear you two trying to push him into it, loud and clear," another female voice growled as a small hand came over and took Soun by the ear.
"Ah... Ah.... Akane?!"
"Yeah. Not only can't I sleep because of your noise, but I find you trying to pervert poor Ranma."
"Now, now...."
"'Now' nothing! Your fun is over for the night."
"You really should go to bed, Father," Kasumi murmured apologetically, and also uselessly, as Akane was already dragging their parent off in the direction to his room.
"You're all just blowing this out of proportion," Genma insisted.
His son snorted. "Yeah, right! Don't ya think that this just wouldn't work out?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, how could I know that they'd be here?"
"Maybe 'cause they live here?" Ranma idly asked... as he slammed an uppercut into his father's chin, knocking him out. "There, now it's better."
"Pretty much," his wife agreed.
"Sorry about this, though. I didn't know that they'd be goin' this far."
"Oh, I understand. But then they do have a habit of complicating things when they don't have to be."
"What's that mean?"
"It means that there would be an easier way for you to get into my room."
"Oh?"
"You just have to ask," Nabiki purred, and leaned down to be face to face with him. Cupping his cheek with one hand, she moved in, and pressed a warm and passionate kiss to his lips. It was of the sort that made one want it to keep on going, and make more of it, which made for a lot of enjoyment for both parties.
When she pulled back, he could only blink slightly. "Wow."
"I'd have to agree. Good night, dear."
"'Night."
His wife gave him a sultry look and slipped into her room with the sort of grace that emphasized her curves.
All he could do was watch her go in, and when the door closed after her, he looked at the wood for a few long moments. As soon as the reality that he'd have to go to sleep in another room hit him, he also realized that he would be in for either a long night of frustration, or a whole lot of dreams about a certain brown haired girl.
Those sorts of things he expected, but a part of him knew that he could have easily relieved those needs. But as things weren't properly set up for such things, he was going to be left unable to ease the pressure. And there was only one direction that his thoughts could take without going into his desire for Nabiki.
Grabbing his father by the collar of his gi, he dragged him along without much ceremony. "I really hope that ya'll be ready ta be a punchin' bag in the mornin', Pop."
"Oh my...." Kasumi whispered, finding happiness in the fact that her sister and brother-in-law were getting along so well. Of course, what the two fathers had done wasn't very nice in her opinion, but at least nothing bad had happened. And it made the house become quiet again, which meant that she had nothing better to do than to go to be, and she did so, while:
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