Ranma Meioh nervously paced in the foyer of his home (and it really was his, as Setsuna had put his name on the deed to the property along with hers after the two got married). Every so often, he stopped to stare out the windows, looking for any signs of his expected visitors. Given that it had been about ten years since he’d last seen his mother, this nervousness was hardly surprising (conversely, if he had shown no signs of anxiety, that probably would have been disturbing). Nonetheless, the fact that his behavior was expected didn’t mean it was any less amusing, particularly to someone with a sense of humor as warped as Haruka Ten’oh.
“You know, you’re going to wear out the floor if you keep doing that.” (Haruka figured that predictable behavior deserved a predictable joke.)
“It’s not like I can help bein’ nervous, ya know. I mean, what if she’s not like I remember? What if she’s just as bad as Pops? What if she decides that I ain’t a ‘man among men’? What if—”
“What if you pass out from all of this excess stress you’re putting yourself through before she even gets here? I doubt that would be a good first impression.”
Ranma sighed. “Yer right. I’m gettin’ all worked up over nuthin’. I just need to sit down an’ try ta relax.” He went to the living room to do just that.
Five minutes later, he was pacing in the foyer again.
Sure enough, it wasn’t until Ranma had stopped his pacing to go to the bathroom that Hotaru spotted two women turning onto the pathway to the front door. One of them, clad in a very conservative kimono, bore a striking resemblance to Ranma’s female form, except where Ranma-chan’s hair was fire engine red, this woman’s hair was a muted (and thus much more natural-looking) auburn; she also carried a bundle that was a little under a meter long. The other woman had chartreuse hair done up in a style similar to Usagi’s or Chibi-Usa’s. She wore a rather distinctive pantsuit, and was shouldering a rather bulky-looking backpack. Soon they were at the door, and logically enough, one of them proceeded to knock….
I realize that this letter is being mailed rather quickly on the heels of my previous one; it was only last night that I wrote to you about my husband and the wife he neglected to tell us about, so this letter could very well arrive in Joketsuzoku at the same time as its predecessor, or even earlier. In case the latter is true, I shall give a very brief recounting of what happened that night. I met Genma’s wife (and Ranma’s birth mother), Nodoka Saotome, and after explaining our customs to her, she agreed to join the tribe as my sister-wife. Unfortunately, when we found Genma, he proved to be less open to our ways than his Japanese wife; I had to curse him and administer the Full Body Cat Tongue against his will, which has naturally resulted in quite a bit of friction between us. The complete details may be found in the earlier letter I spoke of.
But this raises the question of why I am writing another letter so soon; and the answer is most auspicious. One of the residents of the home where we found Genma knew where Ranma and his wife lived, and she was kind enough to arrange a meeting for us the following evening.
Upon arriving at the home (which, Nodoka informed me, is in a very affluent neighborhood), we were greeted by a small, frail looking girl who seemed very shy upon seeing us. At first, I thought that she might have been a friend of Ranma’s, since she almost immediately began petitioning Nodoka on his behalf (albeit in an extremely timid and meek manner). However, she was interrupted by a remarkably imposing woman — tall, tanned, with waist-long green hair and a courtly demeanor — if didn’t know any better, I’d say she was the legendary warrior and founder Mao Tsu-Was come to life again. She introduced herself as Setsuna Meioh, and went on to say that she was Ranma’s wife, and by the end of the evening, I became convinced that the tribe will be greatly enriched by her induction.
Setsuna then introduced us to Haruka and Michiru, two friends of theirs that also live in their household. The two are romantic and physical partners, but unfortunately, they cannot marry due to the ludicrous outsider rules that prevent two females from being wed. And finally, there is Hotaru, who was the young girl who greeted us when we arrived — she is one of the reasons that I have decided to write this letter, for it turns out that she is, for all intents and purposes, the adopted daughter of Setsuna, Ranma, Haruka and Michiru. Technically, her biological father is alive, but he is currently in a vegetative state from which the outsider healers believe he will not recover. My knowledge of our statutes concerning adoption is a bit fuzzy, but I believe this means that I am a grandmother! Granted, I did not expect to be honored in this way before my fiftieth year, let alone my thirtieth, but still, the fact that there are now five generations of our family alive at the same time is truly a cause for celebration — assuming that Hotaru would be considered an Amazon under tribal law, of course. Naturally, I ask for your guidance in this potentially tricky matter, but I am confident that Hotaru’s induction into the tribe will be more than feasible.
Yet as joyous as this news was, it hardly compared to the reunion of Ranma and his mother. I could attempt to describe the emotions I saw present in both, but my words could hardly do them justice. Still, after things calmed down a bit, Ranma did want to know about the contract. To that end, Nodoka had a frank discussion of Ranma’s life with her son and daughter-in-law, who provided many insightful observations, as she was served as a councilor to him before they became romantically involved. True one might suspect her of bias, but Setsuna does not seem untrustworthy — and in any case, this was a private matter between Nodoka and her son, so I elected not to interfere with their conversation, lest I exert any undue influence over my sister-wife’s decision. Needless to say, Nodoka came to the conclusion that Ranma was indeed a “man among men” (though this phrase would be better translated as “male among males,” as the word “man” carries very different connotations for Nodoka than in our tribe).
I then had the opportunity to bring up several matters relating to the tribe, the first of which was a brief explanation of how Nodoka resolved her issues with the tribe (and in the process, I believe I piqued the interest of the two others I spoke of earlier). I then formally asked Setsuna to join the tribe, and she readily assented, for which I am most grateful, as I would rather not deal with a reluctant daughter-in-law in addition to a reluctant husband. Still, I was a bit surprised by her amused expression; I do hope she has taken my offer seriously. Ranma is still willing to spend a month in his female form — he has clearly inherited his mother’s good sense in addition to his father’s stubbornness. I laid out several options for him, but to my surprise, none of those were picked, as Setsuna has some familiarity with our culture and inquired about Waterproof Soap. This surprised me, as I didn’t even bother taking any along with me, due to its considerable cost; and while it would obviously work for Ranma’s purposes, the concept of someone using the Soap for an entire month sounds so extravagant to my ears that I can barely conceive of it, and I relayed this sentiment to my daughter-in-law. Much to my astonishment, she assured me that she was extremely wealthy, and would spare no expense at making her husband’s transition to womanhood a comfortable one. Thus, I ask that you send me an estimate of how much a month’s worth of Waterproof Soap would cost, and how soon it could be made and shipped here — I dare not request the actual Soap until I am certain my daughter-in-law can afford it.
When this was done, Nodoka and I were treated to an excellent meal of dishes native to Japan. All in all, it was a very eventful night; incidentally, this was why I decided not to ask Ranma to think of me as a second mother at this time — such a notion is difficult for even the most enlightened outsiders to accept, and I believe that Ranma had had enough surprises for the day. Thus, I leave you with this final request for advice in this matter. I know that your personal experience is limited to the monogamous marriage you had with Grandfather, but your wisdom concerning general human nature can surely assist me here.
With love,
Ti Xiu
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(Posted Tue, 25 Apr 2006 07:09)
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