A conference of artificial intelligences is actually very much like one between humans. Generally, the only difference is that AIs take minutes where humans take hours. However, on the Golgotha II station, even this distinction was blurred, as the AIs here had developed a preference for old-fashioned verbal communication during meetings, the main reason being that it allowed them to better retain their individuality. (That, and without humans around, they had a lot of time to kill anyway.)
As usual, the CPU started the proceedings in its typical non-nonsense manner.
Subject: Status of R. Saotome, human resident/operator.
Subject has resided on Facility EK93517 for 92 days.
Protocol requires evaluation of physical/mental health for all humans within 7 days of 90th day of residence.
Unit T12-1C3, report.
To be sure, it was somewhat blunt, but the CPU had been programmed with efficiency in mind, not politeness. The robot in question was a Diagnostic and Recuperative Treatment Omni-Functional Unit, and like most of the robots designed for human interaction, his appearance was humanoid—particularly in the case of medical units, as it was imperative that patients be comfortable when interacting with their physicians. Indeed, his “realism” was carried out to an even greater degree than it was on ALICE. Some had even joked that if it weren’t for a notable bit of anatomical incorrectness, DR TOFU could have passed for a male pleasurebot (and several of the female pleasurebots had dropped not-so-subtle hints that he should consider getting an upgrade to fix that particular imperfection). But DR TOFU’s AI wasn’t programmed to care about sex (sexually transmitted diseases, yes, but not actual participation in sexual activity), and as a result, he generally waived off all suggestions to that end. After all, he found that performing the functions for which he was originally created to be quite satisfying—and now that there was finally another human around for him to care for, he wasn’t about to take on a time-consuming secondary function, not when Ranma had needs to attend to.
Because of all of this individual attention, DR TOFU’s report was rather thorough, detailing every aspect of Ranma’s physical well-being, even though, physically, Ranma was a fairly normal eight-year-old boy. Sure, he had unusually high physical abilities, and a ravenous appetite, but the medical unit didn’t foresee any negative complications resulting from either.
“Says you,” replied SAM, the robot/AI in charge of Sanitation And Maintenance who generally represented the “working class” bots at meetings such as this, as he was one of the few humanoids in that department. “You don’t have to tell the bots in Hydroponics that the kid’s still hungry because they didn’t grow enough food. Do you have any idea how self-deprecating those little guys get when you tell them they’ve failed at anything? It’s the most depressing sight in the universe.” Obviously, whoever programmed SAM’s AI managed to capture the “crotchety janitor” personality type perfectly.
Subject’s needs put no undue strain on the Hydroponics division’s resources. Subject’s physical health is satisfactory. Next item: intellectual develpoment/mental health.
ALI fielded this question. “His education is moving along quite splendidly, as was proven by the speed with which he has picked up the English language. He’s a very intelligent boy—a bit ignorant at times, I’ll grant you, but that’s only due to a lack of specific knowledge in most cases, rather than any deficiency in his mental capacities. I expect that his education will soon have to be accelerated in order to stave off boredom.”
His gynoid counterpart concurred. “Ranma is an exceptional student. He’s taken to mathematics so well, that I’m seriously considering having him focus in more advanced fields of that study in addition to his standard training in the sciences.” ALICE’s pride in her student was rather obvious.
“In addition,” the NINJA’s Jounin unit added, “his training in the martial arts has progressed nicely as well. He is quite skilled already, and clearly wishes to improve those skills even more.”
The CPU seemed pleased with this.
Summary: Subject’s physical and mental development proceeding at exceptional levels. No unforeseen problems.
However, this was where KAREN spoken up. “Actually… I wouldn’t put quite that way. There are also Ranma’s emotional needs to be considered, after all.”
Explain.
The chrome gynoid phrased her response as carefully as she could. “Well, while I won’t deny that he is generally quite happy with his situation, from the conversations I’ve had with him recently, Ranma seems… lonely.”
Robotic units at Facility EK93517 are specifically designed to counteract negative aspects of long-term isolation. Loneliness is one such negative aspect. Resources on Facility EK93517 are be more than capable of rectifying Operator Saotome’s needs.
The CPU may not have had a very humanlike AI, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t express displeasure; and KAREN knew from experience that this slight change in tone was the rough equivalent of “bristling with umbrage.” Apparently, it either thought that she had just insulted her fellow machines, or that Ranma was being unreasonably demanding in his emotional needs. “I know that sir, but consider: we’re all designed to interact with adults who have already reached their full mental and emotional maturity. Ranma is still a boy, and as such does not have the experience to draw from that an adult would have. It is therefore logical to assume that his emotional needs will be a bit different from the ones we have been programmed to fulfill.”
Fortunately, the CPU’s AI responded particularly well to reasoned arguments, and any sense of indignation which may have existed was dropped immediately:
Understood. Suggested solution?
“Well, for the last few days, Ranma has been talking extensively to me about his life ‘back home,’ and I’ve noticed that he often refers to a young boy about his age named ‘Ucchan.’ I think this Ucchan was a very good friend of his, but from what I understand, the friendship had to be broken off when he left the area with his father.”
“So, what are you saying?” asked ALI in a quizzical tone. “That we should find this Ucchan?”
“Oh, no… nothing that extreme. I’m just thinking he could use a friend. One at his own age—or at near his own level of mental and emotional development.”
“That does sound like a good idea,” DR TOFU concurred. “Limited though my experience with pediatrics may be, most of the studies on mental health in my databanks suggest that healthy childhood friendships are exceedingly beneficial, generally leading to increased mental stability in adulthood.”
“Another kid? Great, the bots in Hydroponics are going to love this.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be that easy to find another child,” ALICE pointed out. “We still don’t know where Ranma is from or how he got here.”
“Well, perhaps we could make one,” suggested an android from the research laboratories.
“How?”
“We could try cloning one.”
Unacceptable. Federation Statute 3517420-B outlaws the cloning of human beings.
“Furthermore, the practice is generally considered unethical,” the Jounin added.
“But that’s just in the case of cloning specifically for organ harvesting—this clone would be acknowledged as a separate individual.”
Unacceptable. Statute 3517420-B covers all forms of cloning. Illegal activities will not be tolerated in Facility EK93517.
“But if you’ll just listen to reason…”
Statute 3517420-B covers all forms of cloning. Illegal activities will not be tolerated in Facility EK93517.
When the CPU started repeating itself, there was almost no way to get it to change its mind. The android therefore proceeded to walk out of the meeting in protest. “Okay, so that option’s out,” said DR TOFU in an effort to get things back on track. “Any other ideas?”
“I have one,” piped up an as-yet-unheard voice.
This elicited a guffaw from SAM. “Oh, this ought to be rich. Candi the pleasurebot has an idea.”
The sex robot glared at the maintenance unit. In truth, she actually was quite intelligent, and had branched out her interests far beyond the providing of physical pleasure (as she often said, “sex can only take you so far”). Still, SAM never seemed able to treat her as anything other than a mechanical prostitute. “Yes, I have an idea, and that’s one better than what you’ve come up with.”
“Humph. And just how does the sex toy expect to find a friend for the kid?”
“Simple. You can just use one of the lolicon units.”
“Have your files been corrupted?! We can’t let the kid associate with something that perverted!” In the extremely controversial history of pleasurebots, nothing approached the controversy generated by the creation of lolicon units. These were robots that looked like prepubescent girls but (as they were legally required to explain each time they were used) did not have AIs that were programmed like children. The idea was to give ephebophiliacs an outlet for their desires so that actual children would not be endangered, and as such, they were programmed to act like sexualized distortions, rather than actual children. As one might expect, this was met with large amounts of resistance within society, from humans as well as robots, as SAM’s reaction demonstrated. “Those things were deactivated for a reason.”
Candi, however, was not going to be dissuaded so easily. “I’m not saying we should just reactivate a loli unit. I meant that we can reprogram one. It’s not that difficult; all pleasurebots have removable and interchangeable AIs. We’d just need to remove the Sexually Licentious Unit Template from a lolicon unit and replace it with a less sexualized version. And, as an added bonus, as Ranma grows, we can transfer that AI into more mature bodies.”
Jounin’s response to this was thoughtful. “I must admit, that idea does have its appeal… but are you certain that you can desexualize a loli AI to the point were it won’t adversely Ranma’s development?”
“Well, if all else fails, we could try writing one from scratch,” ALICE offered. “I mean, it wouldn’t have to exactly replicate a child’s mindset, right? As long as Ranma can identify with it, it should still work, right?”
“I can’t believe you people are taking this idea seriously,” countered SAM. “Those loli units should have been completely dismantled a long time ago. Trust me, this will be nothing but bad news.”
The CPU, meanwhile, apparently had decided that it had heard enough.
Suggestion has been noted, as have objections. Standby for decision….Decision reached.
Unit MCD-69’s suggestion is logical and feasible. Approval given to modify prepubescent Sexually Licentious Unit Template to provide non-sexual companionship for R. Saotome. Caution: Ethical issues must be satisfactorily dealt with, or approval will be rescinded.
“Thank you, sir,” Candi said with a triumphant smirk in SAM’s direction.
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(Posted Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:24)
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