It being the last day of school, the students were a little rowdy.
It being Furinkan High School, the teachers sighed in relief and relaxed. Their students were frequently riotous; mere rowdiness constituted a quiet day.
It being the last day of school, Principal Kuno unleashed his latest scheme to cow and embarrass the student body. By fortunate coincidence, his attempt began simultaneously with Happosai’s last panty raid before the term ended, and the educator from Hawaii found himself battling with the pervert from the past for reasons no one was really willing to investigate. Nabiki made a killing on bets, and a stray Happodaikarin ignited the urgent delivery of grass skirts as they were unloaded.
As the Principal bewailed the roasting of the accompanying pineapples, the bell rang for lunch and Ranma joined his wife and friends under the shade of a tree in the school grounds, where they tasted of the delightful bounty Kasumi had prepared for their bento and admired the plume of smoke and flame threatening to consume the school buildings.
The Principal had gotten a lot of grass skirts.
“Do you want to go to the ice cream shop after school?” asked Yuka after the first edge had been taken off her hunger.
Akane shook her head, her mouth full. Ranma answered for her, “We’re heading off as soon as we get out of school.”
“For a nice, long holiday with Kasumi’s penpal from Junior High,” added Akane before resuming her ‘Ranma at the dinner table’ impression.
“Somewhere quiet and undisturbed, hey, man?” suggested Hiroshi with a leer. Yuka glared at him, Sayuri elbowed him discretely, and Daisuke eased away from him in case Akane took offence.
Ranma shook his head obliviously, and then paused. “Umm... I guess so, yeah. Get away from all the madness around here for a while, just the three of us.”
“...just the three of us...”
Kuno scowled masterfully. So, the sorcerer’s scheme was clear; to drag the fair blossoms of his love, the fiery Tendo Akane and the vital Pigtailed Girl, away from their home and his rightful courtship for the duration of the summer, no doubt anticipating that Kuno, as befit a true hero, would be squandering his energies rescuing those entrapped in the school buildings and therefore not notice the sorcerer’s departure. Such fortune that the Blue Thunder had been convinced by the fire service that it would be unseemly to risk himself in the inferno for the plebeian souls of the lesser students of the school, but should permit those lesser Samurai to risk themselves without his leadership and strength; such fortune that the fool had been driven to gloat about his plans in the presence of his minions and sycophants!
Well, Kuno would upset his schemes and set his plans for nought, for, “The Vengeance of the Heavens is slow but sure, foul sorcerer, and I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, its appointed Right Hand!”
“Oh, my. You’re home early, is everything all right?”
“Yeah, Kasumi...”
“...Happosai and the Principal just managed to set the school on fire...”
“...so they sent everyone home.”
“It was a pretty good show, actually. The way the Chemistry Department exploded when the fire got a little too close was especially neat.”
“Was anyone hurt?”
“Only Kuno...”
“...And only because he tried to attack me again and ‘Kane-chan punched him into the Physics Department.”
“Isn’t the Physics Depatment in the same building as Chemistry?”
“Yeah, Chemistry on the ground floor, then Physics, and Biology on the top floor. But the firemen dragged him out pretty quick, and he was only smouldering a bit.”
“And then the whole building fell down.”
“Oh. Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter much.” Kasumi visibly changed mental gears. “Brittany-chan said Ace-san would be at the airport from quite early, and she even suggested you could skip the last day of school to travel earlier.”
Ranma eyed her mock-severely. “And I suppose you didn’t mention that because...?”
“Well, it just isn’t right to miss school if you don’t absolutely have to,” asserted Kasumi seriously. “Now, I haven’t quite finished packing, but if one of you would call the cab for us we can leave in half an hour.”
“Sure thing, Kasumi,” said Akane. “Ranma’ll just make us a snack for the trip and we’re ready.”
“Oh, I’ve made bento for all of us,” called Kasumi as she ascended the stairs. “They’re sitting on the counter in the kitchen.”
“...call the cab for us we can leave in half an hour...”
Kodachi frowned – delicately, so as not to induce wrinkles. As she had thought when news of the explosion at Furinkan High reached her ears, the Tendo girl was kidnapping Ranma-sama, obviously to continue her vile brainwashing over the summer without any interruptions from his rightful beloved. She had run from St Hebereke (where the school term would last another week – no doubt a factor the little witch also took into account) as soon as the headmistress had informed her of the injuries her father and brother had sustained in the blast; of course, the elder woman had only intended that as a pretext for calling her from class, she knew her student would be far more interested in the news of the explosion itself than in the trivial burns and contusions suffered by her family members.
Even so, too much time had been wasted; the students of the school her beloved attended had already been freed to return home for their summer break. Nonetheless, it had been a trivial exercise to track down her beloved, and she had caught up with him as the Tendo slut dragged the poor dear into her loathsome house. Quickly stunning the panda the family used as a guard beast (such a poor choice, quite ineffectual even; why, it didn’t even look as impressive as her Midorigame), she had found a place to listen in for an opportunity to rescue her Ranma-sama.
And now she had just had the most perfect plan delivered into her very lap! Why, she would simply commandeer the cab as it arrived, disguise herself as the driver, and gas the three passengers before taking them all to the family mansion! The Tendo bint and her matronly sister would be enchained in the dungeons and her Ranma-sama recovering in her bedroom before they even knew she was near. It couldn’t possibly fail!
“OH-HOHOHOHOHO! Tendo Akane, never again shall you pollute my Ranma-sama!”
“OK, what’s the tally so far today?”
“Hmm, no one interrupted breakfast, but we had Kuno at the school gates and again at lunch, Happosai in your locker room, the Principal doesn’t really count since Happosai got him, Kodachi after we got home, and Shampoo just wiped out trying to make the turn off the freeway between those two trucks – I guess the cab driver got her, though. Hope she didn’t damage that crash barrier too bad. We’re short Mousse, Cologne, Ukyo and Ryoga out of the regulars,” returned Ranma. “That’s a thought, did you get P-chan squared away Kasumi?”
“Oh, yes, the people from the boarding kennels say he won’t be a problem at all.”
Ranma and Akane shared a smirk. One oddity during the days of confused identities had been that neither Ranma-as-Akane nor Akane-as-Ranma had ‘known’ about Ryoga’s curse; but both had perceived a problem with that. Ryoga had been the only one of the Wrecking Crew to find the couple as they ‘trained’ afterward, and even before he could finish threatening Ranma Akane had dowsed him with cold water, just out of curiosity. The Lost Boy had then been coerced into being their witness at the wedding... and dowsed once more as soon as the ceremony was over, and dropped unceremoniously onto a random freight train passing under a bridge as the newly-weds waited to jump on a train going the opposite direction. Ryoga was very uncertain of Akane’s intentions since then, since she treated him almost exactly as she always had done, in both his forms, so long as there was anyone else to see; otherwise she used him as stress relief. Asking Kasumi to investigate where her pet piglet could stay for the summer while they were overseas, because of the animal import laws in the US, was simply the latest subtle torture the youngest Tendo had invented for him. With any luck, he would be unable to escape his cage at the kennels for the full month they were off school.
Kisho Yasuo ignored his passenger’s chatter and slipped his taxi through the crowded streets like a bullet through butter – not for nothing was the Nerima Taxi and Courier Company known as the fastest way to travel in the big city. A frighteningly short time after he picked up his fares, he heaved on the handbrake and slid the car into the open parking slot nearest the doors to the Narita Airport Freight Terminal Pilot’s Lounge. “Alright Ladies and Gentleman, we’re here. Invoice to Nabiki-san as usual?”
“Yes, thank you Kisho-san,” replied Kasumi.
At the back of the car, Akane helped Ranma unload the luggage; his ratty backpack, the two girls’ suitcases, and their respective carry-on bags. As he lifted the last of Kasumi’s cases out of the car, she asked softly, “Have you ever been on a plane before?”
“Nah,” he replied shortly. “Spoke to Ryoga, though, an’ he has. He says they’re a bit like submarines, only smaller and with windows and they go up instead of down.”
“What, exactly, was Ryoga doing on a submarine?”
“That’s kinda what I asked. He mumbled somethin’ an’ blushed, so I figure he found one with a women’s locker room or somethin’.”
“Ranma no hentai.”
He regarded her flatly. “An’ who exactly was it brought the mmphmlgph...”
“Not where Kasumi might hear,” rebuked Akane with a gleam in her eyes.
(Posted Fri, 14 Jul 2006 00:09)
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