"Overstatement of the year, Nabiki. But why didn't you fight them on me living here?"
"Because this way the panda can't carry you off again."
He thought for a moment. "I'll accept that."
"What made you take away the panda's chopsticks, rather than the usual food fight?"
"… And set them in front of Mom or Kasumi? I dunno. I guess I figured breaking them would make too much work for Kasumi. She does quite enough around here without making more work for her to do. Having him beg politely for them back from Mom and Kasumi allowed them both to enjoy the meal without making either one get up for a new set.
"As for the food fight, I just got tired of it, ya know? Every day for twelve years, it got to be really annoying. I didn't want to do it for another six. Once or twice a week should be enough to keep up the skill. And even he should know it ain't polite to do it at Kasumi's table the first time he eats there."
"Kasumi means a lot to you, doesn't she?"
"She's the only reason I ain't in the looney bin."
"What?"
"If Kasumi hadn't begun talking to me after the first month I moved in, I'd have prolly gone off the deep end and broken a lot people's bones. If not worse."
"Whoa."
"The first month I was here last time I had to battle with Kuno, Ryoga, Kodachi and her Martial Arts Rhythm Gymnastics, Sanzenin and his Martial Arts Ice Skating, then Shampoo and the Xi Fa Xian Gao Satsu on top of that. I was really headed for the funny farm. Kasumi really helped me get over it.
"After that came Cologne and the Breaking Point, Daimonji Sentaro and his Martial Arts Tea Ceremony, the Martial Arts Takeout Race, Happosai, the Instant Jusenkyo Water, the Dojo Destroyer, Romeo and Juliet, the Japanese Nannichuan, Ukyo, the Love Pill Bracelet, Mousse, Tsubasa, Shirokuro and that Yoiko mess to keep Ryoga from being alone with Akane, the Happo Fireburst technique... and on and on. But it's okay, now."
"Yeah?"
"Uh huh. Now, besides Kasumi, I got you to talk to."
Ranma had no idea why Nabiki suddenly hugged him with all her might.
AKANE:
Do NOT ignore the occupied sign on the bath, like you usually do.
Daddy is no longer the only non-girl living in this house.
You WILL get an eyeful of something you don't want to see if it's not one of your sisters in here.
I, for one, will not accept anymore half-hearted apologies if you do see something you shouldn't or someone doesn't wish for you to see.
NABIKI
"Inquisitive and intelligent, she is, but no discretion whatsoever."
"Wash me."
"Nabiki! I can't do that!"
"You can and will. The last time I was your fiancée, I was too busy trying to make a quick yen. This time, I'm going to get all the benefits of having a skilled martial artist as a fiancé.
"Now, do my hair, using the memory shampoo technique using my shampoo and without the shiatsu points. It shouldn't take you more than five seconds. Then, scrub me down using the amaguriken. That should keep up your skill even if you don't have the strength you used to."
"But ..."
"Ranma, look at me. You used to have one of these of your own. You had a little more carpet when you were sixteen, but it's the same thing. These," she lifted her hands to the appropriate places, "will grow to almost three quarters of the size yours used to be. There's nothing here you haven't handled, they just belong to someone else and I'm giving you permission to touch. The whole thing shouldn't last more than ten seconds once you get started.
"Now as for what you currently have... I may not have taken any photographs of you naked as a male back then, but I certainly know what size it will grow into in the next five years. Not to mention the current size is larger than most boys of your present age. I know where it has to go to cause problems and I also know you won't put it there yourself.
"So, when you're finished washing yourself, you will join me in the furo so I can snuggle up to you before Akane comes waltzing in here."
"But... the note...?"
"Since when has Akane listened to anyone other than herself?"
Ranma sighed and did as he was instructed. This Nabiki seemed to have as little 'feminine modesty' as he used to have. And why in hell was she insisting that they bathe together?
"Are you sure she's coming?"
"As sure as I know my own name. If the instructions came from anyone younger than Dr. Tofu, they'll be ignored. She's only taking so long because she expects me to take as long as she does when getting cleaned up. I just wanted to enjoy the soak before I had to engage in a battle of wits with a disarmed opponent."
No sooner had she said that than Akane breezed in. "Hi, Nabiki. I know you won't mind... AHH! That icky BOY is in there with you!" she exclaimed as she desperately covered her naughty bits.
"Why, yes, he is. He makes a very comfortable back rest."
"But... he's a BOY!"
"And a very nice one, too. Do you think you might try knocking next time the occupied sign is up?"
Akane scooted out of the room, vainly trying to cover three arms worth with only two. Why she was trying to cover her butt crack is a mystery that may never be solved.
"That was way too easy," Nabiki sighed as she turned around to straddle Ranma's legs. "Now this is comfortable."
"I'm not comfortable!"
"As I said before, I know where it has to go to cause problems and neither of us is going to put it there. Now, I'm just going to relax a bit and wait and see if Akane is going to run to Kasumi to complain or not."
Nabiki was way too relaxed. It was like she was in a sleepwalker's daze. Ranma plucked her out of the tub, sat her on the washing stool, and dried her before drying himself off. He barely managed to get her into her yukata. Seeing as she was not going to move, he picked her up and carried her out of the bath. As he carried her up the stairs he hoped she was not flashing anyone, as her yukata was very short.
He opened her door and, using his feet, turned down the covers to place her in the bed. A cross between a sigh and a groan escaped him as he turned and began to rummage through her dresser, trying to find her favorite pajamas.
"Nabiki, I can't find your yen symbol pajamas."
"Oh, I didn't get those until I was fourteen. My current favorites are theeeee... fish prints," her reply came lazily.
"Uhh... p-p-panties?"
"Flower print, whatever is on top."
Ranma delicately dressed Nabiki in her nightclothes and gently covered her with the bed sheets. Nabiki just curled up, moved the pillow lengthwise so that one end was clasped between her knees, the other end under her cheek, and her arms embracing the middle. "I love you, Ranma. You're the best friend I ever had..." she murmured as she dropped off to sleep.
Her statement hit him like ton of bricks, but each separate sentence disturbed him in ways he did not want to begin to contemplate.
He shut off the light and closed the door behind him.
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(Posted Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:05)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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