Returning from Tiffany’s room, where the little girl was now sleeping peacefully after having played with her new toy for hours, Brittney headed to the kitchen, where her husband was frying some tuna steaks for her.
Oh yeah, there was also a meeting to discuss the strange letter as well as the present.
But the important thing was the tuna.
As Brittney arrived in the kitchen, she saw her family there.
Gina was poking the present, trying to figure out if it was really a shrunken human, why her father couldn’t un-shrink him, and how he had survived the full weapon battery lives of four peebochus.
Brianna—after checking out the nude man and proclaiming “he wasn’t up to her standards”—was eyeing the steaks that Stripe was currently cooking.
Her mother and father were currently observing the letter, trying to determine if it had been booby-trapped in any way.
As the steaks were finished, and eaten at the usual pace by the tuna-crazed sisters, they finally set about opening the letter, deeming it was not booby-trapped in any way.
Of course, opening the letter did not mean they were safe from surprises. Julia dropped it back onto the table as an image of a woman formed above it. She had cat-like features, but was dressed in the slave outfit of Princess Leia.
“Help me, Obi-wan; you’re my only hope!”
The others could only stare at it.
“I always wanted to do that,” said the figure, before her clothes shifted to something ... more. “Greetings, Diggers. I am Bastet; Goddess of pregnant women, children, and cats.”
Gina stared hard at the hologram. “Those weren’t her domains.”
“Well they are now,” said Bastet, staring at the girl. “Can’t a deity change their resume over the centuries?”
“She’s really communicating with us,” gasped Theo.
Bastet nodded. “Yes I am, so quit staring and jabbering so I can get on with my message.”
Clearing her throat, she turned towards Brittney. “Child; though the laws of the heavens prevented me from interfering in any way, shape, or form in mortal affairs, I have come bearing good news. You are no longer the last of the were-cheetah.”
“No duh,” said Brianna. “Raphiel is around.”
Bastet glared at the girl. “You know I’d be well within my right to bring out your evil side and make her your twin sister for talking back.”
“Eep!”
“Now, as I was saying, and hopefully can finish now without any interruptions,” she said, looking around for someone to question her.
“Foul gaijin goddess; I shall smite you now!”
No one ever said that his learning curve ... curved upwards.
ZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPP! to the twenty-sixth power
“One more time,” said Bastet, as Kuno fell back onto the table, now out cold and dressed as Princess Leia.
“Due to some magic and a lot of luck, the were-cheetah are being reborn in Japan. A fighter there by the name of Ranma Saotome came across a lamp with a genie in it, whom was taking a test at the time. As such, her replacement for that moment was a Goddess who helped young Ranma make the best wishes he could, and as a result, he has been granted a great boon.”
The others stared. “If I may, Goddess Bastet,” said Theo. “But how does that help?”
Bastet smiled. “One of the wishes were for him to be cursed as a were-cheetah without the weaknesses. As such, they used a template I had on file. He has immunity to silver and his bite does not have the thrall failure.”
Brianna gasped. “But that would mean...”
Bastet nodded. “Anyone he chooses, he can transform into a were-cheetah. He even has control over who he can inflict ... with several exceptions. So now, you are not alone, young one, and your people will be reborn.”
Stripe looked at her. “He won’t force them to change, will he?”
Bastet shook her head. “I would not have given him my blessing if he would. No; he will only change those that want to be. He is a great fighter, so I know he will enjoy training under both of your parents.”
“Both?”
Bastet turned to Gina. “He needs to learn magic. As for his fighting skill, he did take down a blowhard named Saffron.”
Julia gasped. “The Phoenix God?”
Bastet nodded. “True he wasn’t at full power, and the battle was won with quite a bit of luck; but the fact Ranma was able to stop that idiot is a grand achievement in itself. Maybe this time the little rascal will grow up with a brain.”
The others weren’t sure what to think, but judging by Julia’s reaction, it must have meant the guy was good.
“So let me get this straight,” said Gina. “This Ranma guy is now a were-cheetah, can control who gets infected, doesn’t make them thralls, is safe from silver, has your blessing, defeated a God—”
“He was no God,” growled out Bastet. “Saffron has been a pain in the ass ever since he decided to fall to Earth. Quite frankly, there are more than a few of us who want to “take him out to the shed” as it were.”
Gina nodded. “Anything else?”
Bastet nodded. “Well, you do need to contact him, as now you both could lay claim to the were-cheetah lands in Africa, as well as all other clan holdings. The letter will contain his address and his number so you may arrange a meeting.”
“What does he look like?” asked Brianna, a small twinkle in her eyes.
Bastet smiled. Well if those fiancées don’t get his engine running, that girl will break him out of the packaging. "Here he is in hybrid form, animal form, and human form.”
With that, six images formed.
“Who’s the girl?” asked Theo.
“He has a curse that changes him to female when he’s hit with cold water; a Jusenkyo curse.”
Theo nodded. “I’ve heard about Jusenkyo.”
Bastet nodded. “It should be drier in a few months, being flooded after Ranma defeated Saffron. When it does, be certain to take proof that you know of weres, and ask the Guide about Drowned Were Springs. There are quite a few, even of Drowned Were-rat, Were-cheetah, Werewolf, and Were-gopher.”
The others blinked. “There are were-gophers?”
“Now that ... is a secret.”
The others merely sweatdropped as Bastet started acting like Xellos.
“Anything else we should know about?” asked Stripe.
“Well, he does have a lot of girls chasing after him; probably more when they find out what he has become. He’ll be coming into some property and money soon, if what the latest news I have received is correct. Then again, the boy may surprise me on that as well. Beyond that and what else I have said, it still uncertain. He’s been exposed to the purifying aura of Belldandy, so he may be a better and calmer soul, or he could end up being a loudmouthed jerk that you’ll all try and maim a few times. But feel free to hurt his father ... oh yes; do enjoy doing that. His mother will explain that to you.”
The others could only blink, wondering what had made a Goddess “okay and encourage them” to hurt someone.
“And before I forget, he does have a friend/rival who is also a werewolf, so don’t hurt the fury bastard too much.”
Once they were staring again, Bastet smiled. This will definitely help my plan to have more cuddly were-cheetah kids! If this group plus the normal girls can’t get them for me, nothing will. “Well, I will be visiting the both of you in the days to come. I need to get back to arranging a time-share schedule for that idiot’s punishment,” she said, pointing to Kuno. “He has caused a lot of trouble, and you won’t believe the number of pantheons that fool has insulted, desecrated, or downright pissed off. Hell, I think he’s even upset a pantheon that hasn’t been worshipped in 10,000 years.”
Seeing their confusions, she smiled, waving goodbye. “Enjoy your time with him, he may disappear at times, but he’ll be back. Don’t forget to call Ranma.”
With that, the hologram disappeared, leaving only a letter with Ranma’s information on it.
This also included body dimensions, likes, dislikes, favorite foods, and suggested topics of conversation.
“Not light on the hints, is she?” asked Julia, looking at the note.
Brittney looked over to her sisters, who seemed to slightly drool at the images that had yet to fade of the neo-were-cheetah. Shaking her head, she just smiled, glad that she was no longer the last one left.
Well, her and Raphiel.
“Muffin, can you make some more steaks, we have something to celebrate.”
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by The Demented Redhead
(Posted Fri, 04 Aug 2006 03:27)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.