Throwing the two little boys off of her, the green-tressed woman stood with as good a dignified pose as she could muster. She pat down on her skirt to try and give herself some decency before looking towards and glaring at the little animal-like children. “What in the name of Serenity are you doing here!?”
“And that’s the million dollar question toots!” Yakko exclaimed, posing like Groucho Marx with a fake cigar and glasses with eyebrows. “...But in all honestly, we dunno.”
“We just came in through the back door,” Wakko points to a before-never-seen simple door left wide open.
Setsuna’s eye twitched. “A back door?”
Dot nodded her head. “Yep. It’s right behind the mirror-thingy.”
“Mirror?” Wakko said as he walked up to the Time Gates. “I thought it was a television set. Flat screen, by my guess...”
“Don’t put your face on the Time Gates!” Setsuna shouted as the young animal-child in cap was pressing his face right up against the surface of the glass.
“Time Gate? It’s just a mirror,” the Warner Brother said dismissively.
Turning to the hot tanned green-haired woman, the older Warner tugged at her skirt. “Don’t mind him he always sticks his face where it don’t belong,” Yakko remarked.
Ignoring the taller child, Sailor Pluto, grabbed the shoulder of the younger boy, pulling him back away from the artifact. “I said keep away from the Time Gates!” She looked back at the relic and frowned as the kid left an imprint of his features and hands on the surface. “Damn it! That is SO going to interfere with the flow of time.”
“Oh no! Bad words again!” Dot cried, holding her hands up to her ears.
“Hey, lady,” Yakko started. “Just because you may wear a hot outfit, doesn’t give you the right to talk like that in front of children!” He held up a bottle of cleaner. “Besides, some Windex will clean that right up!”
“NO!” Setsuna shouted, holding her hands up in a warding motion. “Keep AWAY from the Time Gates, you little brats!”
Ignoring the ranting woman, Yakko walked over and started spraying the glass cleaner on the mirror’s surface. Taking a rag from out of his pants pocket, he wiped it clean. “See? Good as ne-WOAH! Did it just glow?” He eyed the cleaner before looking over at his younger sister. “Hey Dot, you didn’t find this stuff at a nuclear waste dump, didja?”
“No,” Dot said, walking underneath and between the green-haired woman’s legs as she walked up to Yakko, looking at the glowing spot of cleaner. “Oooh, it’s like seeing through time...”
“You mean like when you eat too much Indian food?” Wakko asked. At seeing the other two nod, he grinned. “FABOO! Let me see!” He shouted as he ran, knocking over the Guardian of the Time Gates.
“Hey look! We can see what Cleopatra used to clean her eyebrows with!” His eyes widened as the scene was of the Queen of Egypt in an open pit in the floor. “...Whoa, she did take milk baths! Hubba-hubba!" Yakko exclaimed before his brother joined him in a howl of...
“Helloooooo NURSE!”
And then the screen was filled with an image of ‘NC-17 Restricted for Younger Audience’ came over the entirety of the Mirror.
“Ah, nuts...” Yakko pouted. “A thousand-year-old mirror, and it STILL has a V-chip.”
Looking over his shoulder, the middle Warner asked, “Hey, lady? Do you know how to change the channel?” He blinked his eyes as he saw a shadow looming over them. He reached his arms out, tapping his brother and sister on the shoulders. “Um, guys?”
All three Warners turned around just in time...
*WHACK*!
Only to get slammed by the woman’s Key-Staff and into the mirror. The trio seemingly disappeared into the expanse of time.
“Take THAT you little bastards!” Setsuna cackled, sure that those weird-looking kids would be lost in time. Now all she had to do was figure out HOW to fix this mess and-
“Did you miss us?”
The woman went stiff as a board. Slowly, she turned around to... “No! H-HOW!?”
“We have that effect on people.” Yakko said plaintively.
Wakko smiled. “Thanks for the trip! We got to do so much! Like paint pictures of naked people!”
Blinking her eyes once twice, Setsuna hesitantly asked, “What pictures of naked people?”
“We helped some dreamy hunk named Michelangelo with the ceiling of some church,” Dot said dismissively.
“Michelangelo?” Setsuna questioned. “Church?” The pupils in her eyes dilated. “OH NO!!!” Quickly, the woman turned back to the Time Gates, viewing history... there they were, annoying Michelangelo for a bit, painting over his ceiling, helping him remake it...
With the scene for ‘The Creation of Man’ replaced with E.T. about to touch fingers with Elliot...
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?” Setsuna screeched at the top of her lungs.
“I think the remake is better than the old one, don’t you think?” Yakko asked with a smile.
“I wanted to draw something else but they outvoted me,” Wakko complained.
Rolling her eyes for a moment, Dot told her brother, “Please! I don’t think people would appreciate a scene of Sheriff Brody on the mast of a sinking ship while aiming at Jaws with a rifle. It IS a church.”
“Still wanted to draw the shark exploding...” Wakko continued to pout.
Setsuna twitched. Lots.
“Oh don’t be that way,” Yakko said to the Senshi of Pluto. “Thanks to you, we got to have lots of fun!”
The green-tressed woman’s left eyebrow twitched. “Lots of fun?”
“Oh totally!” Yakko said. “We got to help this depressed lady smile for a painting!”
Setsuna twitched.
Smiling, Dot said, “We also got Abraham Lincoln’s John Hancock-”
Yakko turned to the reader. Raising a hand, he blew a kiss. “Muah! Goodnight everybody!”
“-And helped him with a speech!” Dot continued excitedly.
“Yeah,” The middle Warner agreed. “And we told this Booth guy where to find him in the theater for his autograph.” Wakko added
“Although...” Yakko said slowly. “We kinda blew it with Nixon and Watergate...” he and both his siblings winced at the memory
Setsuna’s whole body twitched visibly.
“Still...” Yakko said slowly. “We made a few enterprising ventures. While in Switzerland, we were selling Cookies for the Kids Scouts!”
Wakko nodded. “Yeah! We never did get our Merit Badges, but by helping this Einstein guy with acme backwards, we got a Noble Peace Prize instead.”
“And let’s not forget our time as Dentists in Russia,” Yakko said. “Wow, did that Rasputin guy have one rotten set of teeth.”
“But,” the youngest Warner spoke up. “I think we did a boo-boo by waking up that Metll-er something or other up a thousand years ago.”
Twitching even worse, Sailor Pluto asked, “Metal’la?”
“Yeah!” Dot said. “Talk about a grouch!”
“She was our special friend for awhile,” Yakko said. “Just like you, tanned Nurse!”
Wakko nodded his head in agreement with his sister and brother. “Yeah! That meanie promised us candy and then there was nothing but omnipotent darkness that just possessed that woman who was wandering the cave.”
“Man, was she ever a vixen before she got possessed,” Yakko said. “Especially with that long red hair and slinky dress.”
Both Warner brothers smiled. “Helloooooo NURSE!”
Unable to take anymore, the Guardian of the Time Gates shouted, “SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!”
Dot winced. “That’s not a nice thing to say. You should always as a person to please be qui-”
“SHUT UP!!!” Setsuna screamed at the smaller girl. “THAT DOES IT!” Turning away from the Time Gates, (which had a heavy stream of smoke coming out from the seams) Setsuna held her Key Staff tightly. “I can’t take you little monsters anymore! I’m going to do what I should’ve done in the first place!
“You’re gonna give us some chocolates?” Wakko asked hopefully.
“Tickets for a cruise?” Dot asked just as hopeful.
“Your measurements?” Yakko asked, slightly drooling.
Sailor Pluto’s eyes were practically ablaze with rage. “I am going to reset the time-line WITHOUT you little monsters!” She cackled maniacally. “Prepare for non-existence!”
His hopeful smile turning to a frown, Wakko said, “Aww... and I was hoping we’d get some chocolate.”
“Reset Time?” The eldest Warner asked, sounding alarmed. “Whoa, whoa lady! Let’s not be hasty!” Yakko waved his arms placatingly. “Ain’t that gonna reset you?”
Smiling evilly, Sailor Pluto shook her head. “Not as long as I have the...” she blinked as she realized her Key Staff was gone, and she was instead holding a hockey stick. “WHERE’D MY ARTIFACT GO!?”
“Hey this is nice..” Dot says examining the key staff with her brothers, eyeing the Garnet Orb in particular.
“Can it open big doors?” Wakko asked as he ran his finger along the part of that staff that had key-like ridge.
“Hey, maybe it’s like that game from the rival company, you know...” Yakko snapped his fingers. “Kingdom of the Hearts or something.”
“Faboo!” Wakko said as he held it up, waving it around. “I wanna fight the Heartless!”
“STOP THAT!” Sailor Pluto screeched as she stomped her foot. “STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!”
“Yeah we can do it better than those other three!” Dot agreed with a large grin as the group ignored the Senshi of Pluto. “Besides, I’m cuter than the female leads.”
“Hey maybe this thing can take us there!” Yakko said as he walked back to the Time Gates, Wakko and Dot following him, with staff slung over Wakko’s shoulder.
Setsua glared down at the annoying children and grabbed the end of the staff with the Garnet Orb. “Give me back my staff!”
“Hey, c’mon lady!” Wakko said as he held his end tightly. “You’ve been hogging it all this time!” A drum-roll went off in the background.
*BA-DA-BUMP*! *PSHHH*!
“Yeah, green-tressed, tan-skinned hottie,” Yakko agreed as he also took ahold of the key-shaped end with Wakko. “Learn to share!”
“For sharing is caring, and when you share, the more you care, and friendship will be everywhere!” The Warner sister said in a melodic voice. When her two brothers looked at her for a long moment, she shrugged. “So much for a song-cue.” And then she was grabbing at the key-end along with her brothers, effectively making it into a scene of tug-of-war over the Key-Staff with the Warners against the Senshi of Pluto.
“Heave!” The Warners cried out in comical tandem.
“Ho!” Sailor Pluto grunted out as she pulled at her end harder.
“HEAVE!” The Warners pulled the staff closer to them.
“HO!” Setsuna pulled the staff closer to her again.
“HEAVE!”
“HO!”
“HEAVE!”
“HO!”
“HeeEEAVE!” The Warners tried again, pulling the staff once again closer to them.
“HooOWOAAAAH!?” Setsuna cried out as she pulled the Garnet Orb Key free from the Key-Staff and went tumbling backwards with the Artifact, followed by the sound of a crash and a window breaking.
Looking down at the woman laying amongst the shattered remains of glass at the base of the Time Gates Frame, Yakko shook his head. “Man, that’s seven years of bad luck right there...”
Sniffling, tears were starting to pool at the corners of the woman’s eyes. Oh this was NOT happening!
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(Posted Tue, 19 Sep 2006 16:42)
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