[Episode 173430] [Episode 173430]“So you’re really going through with this?” asked Urd after hearing the explanation from a glowing Beldandy and a stammering Keiichi.
“Of course!” Beldandy exclaimed cheerfully while Keiichi perspired up a storm. “My heart and soul already belongs to Keiichi and now so can the rest of me.”
“Well, who knew you’d turn out to have a kinky side, Sis,” mussed Urd, “But congratulations on finally taking a step towards a sexual relationship. Way to go, Stud Boy! I’d never guess you had it in you.”
Keiichi was floored by a drunken back slap.
“… a what?” Beldandy asked with a pleasantly puzzled frown.
“You know, ‘kinky’,” Urd elucidated, waving her sake bottle, “‘deviant’, ‘perverted’, or…”
“‘Perverted?’ Oh, no. That’s bad, isn’t it? No, this is a wonderful thing.”
“Heh, Sis, if you enjoy that kind of thing, it’s okay. Well, it’s okay by me, anyway.”
“Of course I’ll enjoy anything I do with Keiichi,” Beldandy proclaimed as she helped him to his feet. “But, um, what do you mean by ‘a sexual relationship?’”
Keiichi froze and stared. Urd’s eyebrows twitched. “You’re … kidding right? You know, Sis. A ‘sexual relationship’. When a man and a woman get intimate.”
“But Keiichi and I are already intimate,” a confused Beldandy exclaimed.
Urd stared into Keiichi’s eyes. “When did this happen, kiddo, and why am I the last to know?”
“We haven’t done anything…” Keiichi protested. “Not that I wouldn’t like to, but… that is… I mean that isn’t what she means …”
“So, you’re still whimping out, huh?” Urd accused. “Get with it, Stud. Be a man!”
“Uhm, I’m not sure I know what you mean,” a befuddled Beldandy confessed. “Keiichi is a man, isn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Urd agreed. “But you couldn’t tell by the way he acts. How is he going to be a slave master if he can’t make a move on you?”
“Hey, I’m studying!” Keiichi protested.
“You mean you don’t know what goes where?”
“Not that! There’s more to the slave master course Skuld signed me up for than just doing it,” Keiichi reminded her.
“Come on, you don’t need that to make like the beast with two backs. Get down and dirty already, and do the wild thing.”
“Uhm, what are you two talking about?”
“We’re talking about sex,” Urd put it bluntly.
“Ah, … what?”
“You know,” Urd said, making vague gestures that illustrated nothing. “Sex. Copulation. Fornication. Doing like they do on the discovery channel.”
Beldandy shook her head in confused denial.
“Geeze. Do I have to draw you a picture? Keiichi you explain it.”
“Uhm, well,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his head and studying his feet intently. “When a man loves a woman, they get together, and, well, they, …”
“Honestly, you two are so hopeless. It’s just sex; a perfectly natural thing for a boy and a girl to do. Nothing to get worked up about.”
“So you’ve done this before?” Beldandy asked her older sister. “What’s it like?”
“Huh, yeah!” Keiichi pounced, eager to shift the focus. “You’ve got plenty of experience, right? Tell us all about it.”
“Yes, Sister, please explain,” Beldandy pleaded eagerly.
“Ahhhh,” Urd hesitated under the double assault. “That is… errrrr.”
“You have done it before, right?” Keiichi demanded with an arched eyebrow.
“Of course I have,” Urd snapped. “I’m the love goddess, right. I’ve done it lots. It’s just… I know!” She snapped her fingers. “We need a visual display.”
“A what?” Keiichi demanded, a little bit uncertain he wanted to know where this was going. Then again… no, this was Urd. It was bound to be a disaster in the making.
“A bit of show and tell,” Urd pronounced as a light emerged from her finger tip and formed into a spinning video tape. “I have the very thing.”
“Wait,” Keiichi demanded, glancing at the lurid cover, and recognising it with dread. “… Where did you get that?”
“What’s the matter, kiddo. Belldandy’s going to find out all your dirty little fantasies soon enough.”
“It’s not mine!” Keiichi protested. “It’s… the guys at the club were… they stashed it in my backpack when… I haven’t watched it!… Well, maybe just a little…”
“What ever,” Urd ignored him, already slipping it into the video player. “Pay attention, Sis. This is going to be an education.”
Keiichi watched the screen with dread. Urd watched with amusement. Beldandy watched with ever widening eyes. Keiichi began to perspire. Urd began to stare. Beldandy blushed.
“Oh, my!” Beldandy exclaimed dubiously. “That looks… painful… Surely that can’t fit in there.”
“Eh, they’re just actors,” Urd explained knowingly. “It’s digitally enhanced. Keiichi’s thing isn’t that size.”
“Oh, I know,” Beldandy agreed, raising her hand to her heated cheek. “That actor would be jealous.”
“Yes,” Urd agreed. “So you see… Wait… what?”
“So that’s what it’s for?” Beldandy continued blithely. “It looks… well she does seem to be enjoying it. But surely it shouldn’t go in there?”
“Of course it should,” Urd protested. “Tab A fits in Slot B. Male and female plugs are compatable for maximum pleasure.”
“So Keiichi would enjoy that kind of thing?” Beldandy said quietly, her eyes rivited to the screen.
“Sure he would, right, kiddo?”
“Ahhehehee…”
“Well then,” Beldandy vowed, “if I’ve been neglecting Keiichi’s needs too long, I must make up for it. I’ll do it! I’ll learn how to do sex for him. But…”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Keiichi protested.
“But I do,” Beldandy denied. “I want to do it. Only… Urd, you have to help me. You have to teach me everything you know about this sexing stuff.”
“Well, you see, that is… ahhehe,” Urd laughed nervously, then broached a sudden idea. “Oh! Right! You two should learn together. Experience is the best teacher.”
“But where do we begin?” Beldandy asked. “I”m not sure I could just… Oh, what are they doing now?”
“Well, that is, uh, an advanced technique,” Urd admitted. “You should start with something easier. Er, maybe you could sign up for the …”
“Kaaa! There’s another girl now,” Beldandy said, peeking through her fingers. Those girls are kkisssing and… the three of them. Kaaa.”
“Don’t get any ideas,” Urd told Keiichi, staring into his eyes with a pointed gaze.
“I’m not going to suggest…”
“That’s a great idea!” Beldandy exclaimed. “We could do that! Sis, with you there to show me what to do with Keiichi, I won’t be so embarrassed!”
“How would that help? I mean, I don’t think that’s a good idea at all. I am too much of a woman for Keiichi to handle alone, the two of us would blow his mind. He’s just a litte runt and … wait.” She leaned closer to her sister and whispered. “How big down there did you say it was? … That seems a little… Are you sure? … When did you see? … Really? That’s hard to swallow. … That is not what I mean!”
“I can still hear you, you know,” Keiichi complained.
“Oh, right, sorry about that,” Urd appologised, then drew her sister over to a corner to whisper and giggle together.
“That doesn’t make it any better,” Keiichi complained, but to himself for all the good it did.
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(Posted Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:00)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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