"Hello, mousie!" a voice then declared.
It was a voice Happousai was quick to recognise as he slowly turned around.
"Ranma . . .?"
A punch smashed into his face with the force of a typhoon, sending him flying back-first into a nearby wall, he hitting with enough force that -- had he not had his bag of purloined underwear to cushion his fall; to say anything of his recharged ki reserves -- his spine would have been surely smashed into powder, crippling him for life.
"No."
Stepping fully clear of the null-ki cloak she used to mask herself from Happousai's own senses so she could get the drop on him was Saotome Kanami, she currently in the green-and-gold, flower blossom-embossed full-body jumpsuit her past-self had worn as Wildflower. Pulling her hands up to gently crack her knuckles -- each movement sounding like a gunshot -- she then smirked. "Now, Master," she then purred like a hungry cat as she lowered one hand. "Let's have a little talk about you taking liberties with other people. Especially other girls. And most of all, especially about my brother!" she then snarled as her fingernails then extended into half-metre long ki claws, the defining mark of one trained in the Neko-ken.
Seeing that, Happousai, he still dazed as he tried to pull his way out of the dent in the wall Wildflower had used him to make, could only gulp in stunned disbelief and growing fear as she began to advance on him. "C-could we t-talk about th-this?"
She paused, a thoughtful look then crossing her face, and then she shook her head as she raised her hand to show him her claws. "What do you think?!"
We take a moment in this episode of the Add-venture to move on and thus spare all of you the gratuitous scene of unholy violence that followed.
"Hey, Windtalker! What's up?!"
Windtalker jolted, and then she turned, a smile crossing her face as three visitors appeared thanks to a teleport jump by one of them. "Hey, girls!" she hailed as Infinity, Warwind and Soul Searcher walked up to join her, she standing in front of the entrance to the girl's change room. "Why are you here?!" she then asked as she moved to adjust the webcam so that she could film their presence.
"Oh, we saw you filming about that evil creep that always steals girls' clothes here in Nerima, so we decided to come down and help out," Infinity replied, she nonplussed as Windtalker aimed the camera her way. "After all, he even comes around our part of Tokyo every one in a while to steal clothes from all the girls there, too!"
"Yeah, he even stole panties from friends of mine, too!" Warwind snarled as she began to flex her own fingers. "You just stand aside there, pal, and I'll . . . "
"Afraid a new friend of ours just stole your fun," Soul Searcher declared.
Warwind spun on her friend. "Eh?!"
"Ah!" Infinity called out, she pointing to the doorway of the change room. "Look, guys! It's Wildflower! She caught the Panty Thief!"
Windtalker turned as Wildflower stepped out, a badly cut up and bruised Happousai hanging off one hand. Instantly, she brought her webcam up to capture the image of the beautiful red-haired warrior for all of Japan to drink in.
And across a nation . . .
"KAWAII!" bellowed from the voices of hundreds -- no thousands! -- of men (and a few women) who fell in love with Wildflower at first sight.
"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Nerima's newest and prettiest defender, the one and only Wildflower!" Windtalker declared as she pulled back on the webcam's zoom lens to show her holding the defeated Happousai. "Who came just in time today to prevent yet another disruption in the lives of the innocent and defenceless residents here by capturing the evil Panty Thief of Nerima, Happousai!" She took a quick pause. "And she did it without too much collateral damage, either!"
"Oh, it was nothing! Nothing at all! Just happy to help out!" Wildflower declared with an embarrassed laugh as she scratched the back of her head.
At least she was smart enough to let her hair flow loose when she got into costume, Nabiki mused to herself as she watched her future sister-in-law go through her debut as Wildflower from the middle Tendou daughter's homeroom class.
Meanwhile, up on the roof . . .
"Are you sure you won't jump in?"
"Nah. She's got it okay, Akane."
"You should reconsider."
Ranma stared at his fiancée. "Why?"
"Identify yourself -- identify Mustang -- as Wildflower's brother. Then, should you be ever seen together, people won't get the wrong idea. Kunou, for example?"
And with that, she nodded towards the front lawn where, sure enough, a noble figure in a white-and-black kendou-ka's hakama was making his way with a growing crowd of onlookers towards the gathering of metahumans by the girl's change room. "Damn! Good point," he hissed out before he leaned over to tenderly kiss Akane's cheek. "Thanks! You're one in a million, Akane! Be back in a while!"
Akane remained rooted in place as Ranma ducked somewhere private to shift clothes -- and allow his hair to flow free in a normal ponytail -- so he could assume the guise of Mustang, and then head out in front of Windtalker's webcam. After she felt a sudden gust of wind marking his departure, she then breathed out, her cheeks reddening as the feeling of that kiss warped through her. "I wonder if Lois Lane ever feels like this when she deals with Superman."
At that very moment, in a city on the Maryland shore of Delaware Bay . . .
"AH-CHOO!"
Perry White turned to see Lois Lane moan out as she pulled herself up from her desk, her hand reaching over for a handy box of Kleenex. "Got a cold, Lois?" the editor of the Daily Planet asked.
Lois took a deep breath, and then she moaned before she turned to gaze out on the Metropolis evening skyline. "I'm not sure what brought that out!"
"I've got some aspirin for you, Miss Lane," Jimmy Olsen then offered.
"Thanks . . . "
"HOLD!"
Wildflower blinked on hearing that very unwelcome voice, and then she turned to stare intently at that speaker as Kunou Tatewaki, he recovered from the ki drain forced on him by Ninomiya Hinako at the start of the day, pressed his way through the gathering crowd of students from Fuurinkan and Saint Hebereke, plus angry housewives and restaurant owners, so he could come up to her side. "Yes, young man. Is there a problem?"
Soul Searcher quickly did a telepathic scan of Kunou, and then she blanched. Film this now! she telepathically called out to Windtalker. Here's another stupid problem Ranma-kun had to deal with that we can help put to bed!
Loud and clear, the metahuman paparazzi thought back as she flicked on her webcam, and then she aimed it at Kunou . . .
Who was now grasping Wildflower's free hand with both of his. "Such passion! Such grace!" he declared as he moved to loom over her. "Never, never, never before have I, the Blue Thunder of Fuurinkan High, Kunou Tatewaki, ever born witness to one such as you, beautiful Wildflower! Verily, I would date thee in thanks to your vanquishing this vile creature whose very presence now sullies your delicate hand!"
Wildflower stared askance at him, and then she sighed.
In orbit over Metropolis . . .
"I can't believe that this warrior would allow such an obvious lunatic to touch her in that manner," Wonder Woman declared as she -- along with Hawkgirl and a chorus of female Justice League members -- watched events on a monitor in the cafeteria.
The Thanagarian member of the team hummed, and then she smirked. "Oh, don't look now, Diana, but I think you're about to witness the one good thing about Man's World you Amazons have always missed out on."
"Eh?!" the crown princess of Themyscira blurted out as she stared at her friend.
"MÃE DO DEUS!" Fire gasped on seeing who had just walked into Windtalker's camera portal. "WHO IS THAT ADONIS?!" she demanded, pointing.
"It's just Mustang!" Wonder Woman replied nonchalantly.
Heads turned mechanically around as the other women present stared wide-eyed at the Amazon princess. "You know him?!" Icemaiden gasped.
"THAT'S Mustang?!" Doctor Light demanded.
"Of course he is! A fine warrior, indeed, but . . . "
"Relax, girls!" Hawkgirl assured her teammates as she gave them all a knowing wink before she cupped her hand around her mouth as she added in a whisper, "I'm not too sure about this, but I think he might be Wildflower's brother!"
Silence.
"He's on the market," Fire hissed to her best friend.
"That's good," Icemaiden replied.
Both giggled. Watching this, Wonder Woman simply sighed. Women in Man's World are so strange!
"Excuse me, but what are you doing pawing my sister?"
Everyone gasped, they quickly parting the way as Mustang landed behind Kunou, he then crossing his arms as he stared intently at the kendou-ka. Kunou spun around, his jaw dropping in shock. Behind him, Wildflower made a dramatic show of wiping her free hand on her jumpsuit leg, the revulsion she felt at being touched by the likes of Kunou Tatewaki quite apparent to all. Windtalker made sure that had been filmed for everyone in Japan to see.
"'SISTER?!'" Kunou then screamed out.
"That's right, 'sister,'" Mustang declared as he glared icy daggers into the other man's eyes. "Now, it isn't my right to decide who my sister will or won't date, but it's pretty obvious to me that she definitely doesn't want anything to do with a stalker like you, Kunou Tatewaki."
An explosion! "'STALKER?!'" Kunou screamed out.
"Bruce, when Ranma told us about the people he knew, I though he was kidding . . . eh?" Superman then perked on hearing muffled snickers escaping Batman. Turning around, he then gaped on seeing the Dark Knight Detective trying desperately to not fall over and laugh his butt off.
"You okay, Bruce?" the Man of Steel then asked.
"LIES!" Kunou screamed out as he tried to glare Mustang down. "Who told you such malicious falsifications about the Blue Thunder of Fuurinkan?!"
A smirk then crossed Mustang's face. "Hey, everyone in Nerima knows how much you just love to pretend you're lord of the manor here, stalking every pretty thing that crosses your path!" A dangerous glint then flashed in his eyes as he added, "Like you've done to Tendou Akane and Saotome Kanami since you first met them! Force every guy in this school, near about, to gang up on Akane-san . . . " -- Mustang remembered to speak out the general honorifics to ensure Kunou didn't make an unwanted conclusion about the truth behind the wild fighter of Yiziba -- "All just to try to date her! Have you ever thought about asking her for dates?!"
Having come down from the roof to mill around the crowd by the front door watching this confrontation between her transformed fiancée and the kendou team captain, Akane could only feel her cheeks redden. Normally, I'd hit him for butting into my fight like that, she mused to herself. But this time . . .!
"Hah! I, the Blue Thunder of Fuurinkan High, Kunou Tatewaki . . . " -- insert obligatory lightning in the background -- " . . . would never stoop so low as to perform such a plebian act as treating Tendou Akane, much less the beauteous Saotome Kanami, in such a mundane manner!" Kunou proudly declared, and then he swept his bokken to the heavens. "And with the gods as my witness, I will never recognise that heinous 'engagement' between the beautiful Tendou Akane and that foul dark magus, Saotome Ranma! Never, I say to thee! NEVER!"
"As you just proved yourself to be, 'Blue Thunder,'" Wildflower then said. "A stalker! And an unrepentant one at that!"
"WHAT?!" Kunou shrieked out as he spun around to stare at her. "WHO TOLD YOU SUCH MALICIOUS LIES, GREAT WILDFLOWER?! I HAVE NEVER DONE SUCH A THING!"
Mahora . . .
"Hey, Paru! Are you sure you're not related to Ranma-san?!" Kagurazaka Asuna wondered as she stared curiously at Saotome Haruna.
"Couldn't tell you," the amateur manga-ka replied. "But I have to say this: if this is what Ranma-san and his fiancée have to put up to all the time, it's no wonder they're so well known! It's like some warped soap opera!"
The others in Class 3-A nodded as they continued to watch events in Nerima unfold.
"But you just confessed it, Kunou-san," Wildflower retorted with a waterfall of scorn on the honorific, she grinning as she noted through the corner of her eye that Windtalker was getting all of this. As was the rest of Japan and much of the rest of the world, knowing her.
"I DID NOT!" Kunou screamed.
"Yes, you did!" she called back, she then glancing towards the front gate. "And what's worse, you confessed to your crimes in fr- . . . "
"I HAVE DONE NO CRIME!"
" . . . -ont of all of Japan!" Wildflower finished as she stepped back from him a pace. "And it's a pity that they now have to take notice of it!"
Kunou gaped. "What . . .?"
Two rods supercharged with electricity then tapped into the kendou-ka's back, they then zapping him unconscious. As he collapsed to the ground, members of the Nerima police then moved to cuff him. "You're under arrest!" the detachment sergeant then declared as he scowled at the scion of the ward's richest family, and then he turned to give Wildflower a courteous salute. "Thank you so much for bringing this pervert to heel, miss. On behalf of all of Metro Tokyo, I express my sincere gratitude for your courteous actions. Now, if you'll let us take him off your hands."
"Better make sure you can hold onto him," Mustang warned.
The sergeant chuckled. "We've long known what he was capable of doing, sir. And yes, we did suspect him for all the panty thievery and other acts of molestation that have been reported since he first came here, but we didn't have any hard evidence. Until now, that is." With that, he nodded thanks to Windtalker. "We've got a special cell for him, all prepared to keep him alive, but nothing more."
With that, two more police officers -- male ones -- came up, they carrying rods fitted with harnesses designed to keep Happousai under control. As they moved to bind the unconscious grandmaster of Musabetsu Kakutou-ryuu, Soul Searcher then stepped up. "Excuse me, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ensure he doesn't get away."
"How so, miss?" one police officer asked.
The bespectacled telepath grinned, and then she reached down to touch Happousai's forehead. A gasp then escaped him as his eyes flew wide open for a moment, and then he passed out. "There," she said as she pulled her hand back. "I just had to shut down certain parts of his mind containing his martial arts knowledge. That should make sure he doesn't try to cook up some other way to get free."
"Thank you so much, miss," the other police officer said with a nod.
"And by the way, you better have his house checked out," Soul Searcher then added as she gazed on the unconscious Kunou. "Turns out that after Saotome Ranma's family home was wrecked not so long ago by his would-be fiancées, his family register was stolen. It seems that Kunou here's been trying all along to find some evidence about Ranma-san having burakumin ancestry."
Gasps filled the crowd.
At a local television station, a director turned to stare at his manager. "Do you want us to cut out this part, sir?"
"Don't."
"Eh?! B-but . . . "
"Normally, I would consider it," the manager replied. "But when my daughter was dating someone I wasn't sure about, I hired a private investigator to check into his ancestry. Turns out he was burakumin, so I forced them apart. Soon as I did that, my daughter vowed never to speak to me again! And she hasn't!"
The director winced on hearing what his superior had gone through, and then he said, "But the whole world's seeing this now!"
"So? You can find information about burakumin on the Internet. Hell, even Time ran an article about them once! Why hide it now?!"
The younger man considered that for a moment, and then he sighed. "True . . . "
"Was such evidence found?" Mustang asked.
"No," Soul Searcher firmly replied. "So he decided the best thing to do was to try to manufacture such evidence, holding it in reserve until the day he really needed it. Like say the day Ranma-san would finally wed Tendou Akane."
"Feh!" Warwind then declared. "That old belief's all garbage, anyway! It's that sort of stupid thinking that helped get us into World War Two!"
Soul Searcher stared at her friend. "Never thought you were much of a historian."
"I always like surprising you," Warwind replied, she winking.
Infinity then perked. "Wait!" she then said before holding her hand out.
A flash of light later, an aged book then appeared in her hand. "There it is!" she then said as she turned around, walking over to hand that to Akane. "Akane-san, you make sure Ranma-san and his mother get that back, okay?"
"Thanks!" Akane replied with a blush.
"Fine, then!" the Nerima police sergeant then said. "We'll add theft and threat to commit public slander to his other charges! Take them away!"
And with that, Kunou and Happousai were dragged off to a waiting paddy wagon. As they were carried off, a relieved cheer escaped the throats of many of the people who had suffered from either or both of them over the last year or more.
However, at that moment . . .
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(Posted Wed, 04 Oct 2006 16:39)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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