He casually popped open the cage door with his palm, like it wasn't carrying 50,000 volts of current, brushed his pants off and offered Hotaru a hand up. " So, how about showing me the local movie theater?"
Ranma had some manners, you couldn't live in the same house with Kasumi Tendo and remain a complete barbarian (although Genma was trying, but even he found himself brushing grass out of his fur before coming inside) it was just that showing politeness to any of the fiancées in anything but an emergency usually caused an emergency, as the fiancées felt their own positions were threatened and started declaring war on each other.
Hotaru eagerly accepted the hand up and even though she turned bright red from the contact, she showed no sign of letting go anytime soon, as she led him through the park.
Ranma, being the sophisticated ladies man that he was, decided that the reason she was so red and wouldn’t let go of his hand was because the food was too spicy and since she was a bit fragile (i.e. couldn't use rebar as twist-ties) he'd better put an arm around her to help steady her in case she started to faint.
Ranma was sure he'd done the right thing when she slid an arm around his waist and leaned into him. The fiancées had conditioned him into believing that asking why a girl' s face was red led to being clobbered, so he'd been trying to figure out what he was supposed to do for quite some time.
'They must not like being weak for a moment being pointed out.'
Happy that he'd figured it out, he made a mental note of it. 'When girlfriend is feeling a bit weak, put an arm around waist to help support her without saying nothin'. They'll put an arm around you to help support themselves and won't... And this is the important part, clobber you.'
The redness slowly faded, but Hotaru's smile didn't, while her mind just shouted 'He likes me, he likes me, he likes me!'.
Normally at this point, small animals would start congregating and birds would start singing, attracted by her aura of unbridled joy, unfortunately, Kasumi was having a picnic with her new friend, Belldandy on the other side of the park, so they were already booked solid. Hotaru just had to settle for the sun shining brightly down upon them and flowers blooming as they walked by.
Ranma, ever sensitive to the slightest change in his environment, thought, 'This ain't half bad, we’ll have to do this more often.' And slipped a pair of blues’ sunglasses on her and put on a pair himself.
The inquisitive reader may well wonder why, Ranma was carrying two pairs of shades. The answer to this question is simple, Ranma is not carrying two pairs of shades, Ranma is, in fact, carrying 34 pairs of sunglasses, a variety of costumes, and a very confused partridge in a pear tree.
It should come as no surprise to the reader that this came about because of the combination of three things and people:
1. Mousse challenged Ranma (again!).
2. Akane got a bit-part in summer stock.
3. Ranma cast sanity and reason to the wayside to face the challenge.
The final results of the resulting battle were also less than shocking:
1. Ranma won (and learned a bit more about Mousse’s style).
2. Akane got fired and spent the rest of the week pelting Ranma with water balloons. (Nabiki had suggested it to reduce the household’s repair bill.)
3. The local theater lost most of their costumes and part of their Christmas decorations (As this was Nerima they just shrugged and replaced everything).
Ranma racked his brain for something to talk about. Normally he'd talk about martial arts or the latest Nerima disaster, but Hotaru wasn't from Nerima and the first rule of Nerima was, You don't talk about Nerima. 'What the hell do normal people talk about? She probably ain't into martial arts. I don't think she's into cooking. I'm not into school. Wait, we're going to see Naruto, so I know she's into cartoons.'
"So what's one of your favorite cartoons?" He asked.
"Well, I like Naruto and Skysaber's really fun, but Tenchi's my all-time favorite."
"Can't argue with that. Love Hina's my favorite, but Tenchi's a close second. I can really feel for the guy. He can't choose any of the girls, without hurting the others and since he cares for all of them, there ain't nothin' he can do. It's not that he's a weenie or nothin', he's just in the worst possible situation."
"I think Sasami has it worse. She loves Tenchi and everyone knows it, but he can't take her seriously, cause her body's so young and when she appears as Tsunami, he's awed by her powers and a little afraid of her."
Ranma shrugged "OK, in some ways he really is a big weenie, but all Sasami has to do is wait, because she is a goddess and has a lifespan much longer than the other girls."
Hotaru pouted "But then she'll lose him too, because he won't live that long either."
Ranma shook his head "You forget, Tenchi is Tsunami's chosen knight, so he'll live much longer than the others as well."
Hotaru nodded thoughtfully "Wait a second. Isn't Ryoko, Washu's Knight?"
"Yep," The martial artist replied "but as Emperor of Jurai he's expected to take two wives anyway, so that's not really that big a problem."
"What about Washu?"
Ranma scratched his head. "I'm not really sure if she's serious about Tenchi or just playing with him. It'd be a bit strange to have both of them end up in bed with him. They are mother and daughter, but then the Juraians seem to be the rednecks of the universe anyway, marrying brothers and sisters and other close family members. Heck, their spaceships are made out of wood! I bet their national anthem has banjos in it!"
Hotaru giggled.
"Anyway," Ranma shrugged "with as close-knit as that family seems to be, she could always just ask Washu to borrow him. If she's going to share with her daughter she might as well share with her sister."
Hotaru nodded. "True. They are a bit strange aren't they?" 'I wonder if that's why Chiba-Usa clings to her father so much.'
Ranma shrugged. "I think it's because of the whole long life deal. Having to watch your husband or wife get old and die, while you stay young and healthy would suck. Looking at it that way I would marry Ranko, rather than have to bury a hundred or so wives. I mean the Juraians live for thousands of years."
Hotaru sighed. "And after just a century or two of watching people you care for die of old age, any way to avoid it starts looking better and better."
The two walked on deep in thought.
"Who's Ranko? Do you already have a girlfriend?" Hotaru asked timidly.
Ranma shook his head. "Nah, she's not a girlfriend, more like a sister, though I guess technically she is a fiancée. Pops arranged a bunch of fiancées, including a bunch of girls named Tendo. Since we didn't know each other it was left open for me to choose and I ain't choosed anyone yet. Including Ranko there's six of 'em total."
"You have six fiancées?"
"Nope. Pops also engaged me to several other families, so I got about nine right now."
"I think I can see why you pity Tenchi."
"Yep.The old ghoul says it'll just take some time for the girls to settle down and get used to each other or decide to marry other people. We figure about a decade oughta do it."
"You're going to wait ten years and then marry whoever's left?" The young girl looked shocked at that revelation.
Ranma shrugged. "It's about the only choice I got that won't start a blood feud or five. There are only two, maybe three girls, that I'm sure will wait that long and the others will just have to pass down their obligations to the next generation."
"But aren't three girls still two too many?" She asked, confused.
"If they want me bad enough to wait 10 years, do you really think something like an extra wife or two will stop them?" Ranma grinned ruefully.
"But isn't it illegal?"
"Depends on where you get married. I have several places where the rulers have offered to make it legal for me to marry multiple wives, as long as I promise to live elsewhere."
"Won't they get mad at you for having a girlfriend?"
"Nah, if you were older they might object, but like with Kurumi, they'll probably just decide that as long as I'm with you I'll be safe from the other girls, so they can relax."
"Who's Kurumi?"
"She is the youngest of the Tendo engagements and about a year or so younger than you. She is the only fiancée the girls feel safe with me being around, cause they figure she's too young to drag me off and marry me yet."
"What do you two do together when you go out?" She asked, hoping for tips on where to take him.
"Go to parks and spar, go to carnivals and eat lots of junk foods, go to ice cream parlors and cute the servers into submission, oh and we also go to all-you-can-eat restaurants and make the owners cry."
"That doesn't sound like a very nice thing to do."
Ranma shrugged. "Ain't our fault. They put out a sign saying all-you-can-eat and it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull, we just feel the need to see if they can back up what they're claiming."
Hotaru giggled.
"Which reminds me. If you want to go to an all-you-can-eat place let me know in advance, cause I think we'll have to go to Hokkaido or somethin'. Everywhere else has banned me, Ranko, Kurumi, and pops. Oh, and pandas."
"Why pandas?"
"Well... Do you believe in magic?"
Hotaru gave a tentative nod, hoping Ranma wasn't going to turn out to be another enemy. She just knew he was too cute to be good!
Ranma, completely oblivious to his new girlfriend's worry, continued on with his tale. "It is a tale of tragedy and stupidity... Mostly stupidity. The accursed training grounds of Jusenkyo had over a thousand springs and each had something drown in them. So whenever someone fell in one of the springs they were forever cursed to change into whatever drowned there when splashed with cold water. Hot water will return them to the form they were born in until cold water finds them again."
"You got cursed to turn into a panda?"
Ranma shook his head. "Nope. Any curse you get at Jusenkyo would relate to some flaw you had or some situation you were in. Pops, being fat and lazy at heart, was cursed to turn into a panda and that is why pandas aren't allowed in any all-you-can-eat place anywhere near Tokyo!"
"Did you get cursed?"
"Yep, but I really don't like talking about it. It's kinda embarrassing." Ranma winced, he was really hoping she'd take it better than Akane did, if he could figure out a way to ease her into it.
"Can I guess?" She asked curiously.
"Sure, why not. I think you're the first person who asked, rather than just splash me with somethin'." He was surprised she was taking it so well and not just demanding proof.
"Is it an animal?"
"Nope."
"A plant?"
"Nope. It has something to do with either a fault I had at the time or a situation I was in." 'This is actually kinda fun. She isn't freaked out or nothin' about me being cursed.'
Hotaru scratched her head in thought. "What were you like back then?"
Ranma considered that for a long moment before answering, "I had a huge ego," he puffed out his chest for a moment "of course that's nothin’ compared to how big it is now."
Hotaru giggled.
"I thought I was the best martial artist on the face of the earth!" He shrugged "Now I know better, I'm good, but I'm not the best... Yet! Give me a couple of decades and I will be."
Hotaru wondered briefly. 'How good could a normal guy get?'
Ranma rubbed his chin. "I was raised to be a man amongst men and the world's greatest martial artist. I was proud and arrogant. Pops always told me I had to be the best and always called me a weak little girl if I didn't learn somethin’ right away."
Hotaru's eyes lit up. "So you probably turn into the exact opposite of a man amongst men!"
"So are you ready to guess?" Ranma asked nervously, sure she had figured it out.
"Yeah!"
"So what's your guess?"
"Michael Jackson!"
*THUD*
Ranma got up from his facefault and rubbed his nose. " Nope."
"Pewee Herman?" She asked hopefully.
Ranma laughed. "Not a celebrity. Remember, they had to have drowned at the springs."
Hotaru shrugged. "I haven't seen him in any new movies lately."
Ranma shook his head. "True, but I've had this curse for a couple of years."
Hotaru scratched her head. "Tentacled sex fiend?"
Ranma's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before speaking. "Where did you get that idea from?"
"I overheard Minako tell Makoto that her dream boyfriend would turn into a tentacled sex fiend who was hung like a bull and since I already guessed everything I could think of I thought I'd try her dream."
Ranma shook his head. "Nah, but I do know a guy who fits the bill."
"You know a guy who turns into a tentacled sex fiend?"
"Nope. He turns into a minotaur with wings and tentacles, but if you didn't know better you would swear he was a tentacled sex demon. Demon Hunters are always after him."
"Trying to kill him?"
"Not kill, no." Ranma said uncomfortably. "So anyway, back to the guessing." 'Man, I never thought I'd be glad to turn into a girl, but compared to the things she's guessing, I got off lucky!'
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by dogbertcarroll
(Posted Fri, 29 Jun 2007 15:27)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.