“Well, this is Ranma Saotome, a Tigress...” Britanny said seriously. She then turned to the pigtailed pokégirl and said, “Meet my friend...” the Cheetit paused in her words. She blinked her eyes once then twice as she realized something. “...Hey! Wait a minute! Why am I introducing you? Get to know Ranma yourself, bitch!”
The petite pokégirl twitched... A LOT. “Geeze! First you’re late delivering my goods and now you’re acting uppity? Fine... well, Ranma, I’m Sheila Silvear, Shaguar... former member of Team Edge Guard and currently the only person stupid enough to allow this lazy-ass Cheetit crash at her place.”
Ranma just blinked. Not at the banter; she was used to speaking like that about her friends. No: it was more the ‘size’ of said friend. Beforehand, when human, the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts’ form hadn’t been very tall. That apparently changed somewhat when the kami decided to totally mess with her life and drop her here with a fur coat.
But Sheila was even smaller than Ranma’s own human girl-form had been.
“...It’s the height, isn’t it?” Sheila asked, twitching. “It’s always the height.”
“Wuh?” the pigtailed male martial artist turned female Tigress pokégirl asked curiously as she gazed upon at the stern expression on the jaguar pokégirl’s face.
“Hey! It's not my fault I was born the runt of the litter, all right!?” the petite Shaguar snapped irritably. “I still do very well for myself; unlike a lot of pokégirls, I have a home! I have credits! I have my own life!”
Deciding to head off an age-old argument, Britanny quickly pulled Ranma back a bit, trying to whisper into her ear—and fight the urge not to nibble on it. “Yeah, she’s sensitive about that, so no short jokes or anything like that.”
“Uh, sure,” Ranma replied. It wasn’t like she didn’t have her own memories of people joking about her old height. Hell, she remembered one old lady joking to her about, ‘it if weren’t for your tits, I doubt anyone think you were out of middle school’.
“I can hear you, you know,” Shiela growled. “Shaguars have excellent hearing.”
“We know that, Sheila...” Britanny said as she spoke to her friend and currently the only person that didn’t mind that the Cheetit was pretty much broke beyond even being a pokéstreet walker. “Anyway, I made sure to get you your Evolution Stones so you could experiment. All of them are here,” she said as she motioned to her box she had under her seat. “Now then... about payment...”
The petite Shaguar stared up at the sitting spotted feline pokégirl. “I paid you in advance, remember?”
“Oh... right...” Britanny replied. Rats! She’d been hoping she could scam a couple extra SLC coins! She hadn’t intended to pay for a night’s stay at the Viridick PokéCenter and she wanted to pay off her debts as soon as possible!
Hmm, wonder if I can at least get her to cover the meal, Britanny thought to herself.
Actually, as she did a quick mental tally, the spotted feline pokégirl realized just her meal alone would have been more than she would have had on her.
So, she went for the old standby. “Oh, Sheila?” Britanny purred, as the Shaguar was currently emptying the Evolution Stones onto the table—being careful not to touch them with her furry skin until she knew what she wanted to be.
Sheila sighed, turning back to her friend. “Seriously?”
“You know I’m good for it!” Britanny whined.
Sheila stared at her... yes, ‘friend’ actually fit there. Thousand Goddesses, was that ever sad! Her only friend was a lazy house-cat of a Cheetit with the money sense of a Bimbo at a Strip Club. “That’s what you said when I hired you to get me these stones... even though you’re no longer a Team member.”
“Hey!” Britanny snapped. “Of course I can still do the job! My sisters didn’t kick me off of Team Gold Digger because I was inept!”
“No, of course not,” Sheila replied as she rubbed an Ice Crystal against herself. “They kicked you off because you kept dipping into the Team’s funds.”
Ranma just ignored this, as the waitress brought their orders. Had milk always tasted this good? Why did the fish smell so much better than when Kasumi made it? How could it be better than Kasumi’s!?
“That is an outright lie that was never proven true!” Britanny snarled.
“Yeah, cause you left before they had a chance to file criminal charges,” Sheila muttered, wondering how long she had to rub herself with the stone before she changed.
The Cheetit’s tail swayed back and forth erratically. “I left to pursue other ventures,” Britanny said hotly.
“Yeah, you needed to spread your proverbial wings and fly: i.e. you ran from Celaboner when the Department Store finally cut off your tab and started calling it in,” the Shaguar grumbled, ignoring how the Tigress dove into her meal with gusto that would make a Snorlass applaud due to the sheer impressiveness. Hmm. Maybe she needed another stone?
Watching as Sheila put the Ice Crystal down and picked up a Leaf Stone and a Fire Stone in either hand before rubbing them over herself, the Cheetit fumed with embarrassment. Okay, so MAYBE she enjoyed the Jahana Department Store a little too much... but damn it! They sold everything! EVERYTHING! Anything you could want of the world before the Disaster was available there along with plenty of new things! It wasn’t her fault her sisters decided their Team Base should be there for, ‘ease of resupply’.
“Dayum,” Ranma mumbled as she licked her lips. “This albacore and cod platter is delicious!”
Sheila however ignored Ranma—and incidentally cut off Britanny before she could notice that her own ordered meal was in danger—and turned to face her friend. “And why am I not evolving, Britanny?”
“Lack of friendly attitudes towards your best friend?” Britanny bit back.
Sheila just twitched. “Cheetah, if these are not real Evolution Stones, I will seriously maul your furry ass.”
That made the spotted Cat-type sit up in her seat. “Hey! They’re real!”
The petite Shaguar raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Where did you get them?” Sheila inquired seriously.
“I got them where you told me to,” Britanny replied. “I went straight to the Fewtit Mines!”
“You mean Pewtit,” Sheila corrected her. “And you’re POSITIVE you went there?”
Britanny nodded her head rapidly. “Positive!” the Cheetit replied, huffing up with pride. “Those are the genuine articles, everything you asked: Fire Stone, Leaf Stone, Water Stone, Thunder Stone, Ice Crystal, Psi Crystal, Mana Crystal, Shield Stone and Round Stone!"
Munching on the tuna, Ranma picked up one of the stones, looking it over. She couldn’t feel anything from it... and it didn’t look rare or anything.
Flipping it over, the male martial artist-turned-Tigress pokégirl looked at the bottom.
[Made at Fewtit Mines Gift Shop]
Shrugging, she handed it to Sheila... bottom-side-up.
Sheila looked down at the Shield Stone... she started to bristle as she turned to look at the Cheetit with an ice-cold glare. “You visited the Gift Shop?”
“Well, yeah,” Britanny replied. “The Galem at the mines told me if I wanted to get a great deal on Evolution Stones, all I had to do was head over to their gift shop and purchase some; it was very nice of them to do that.”
Eyes narrowed, Sheila scratched the surface of the Evolution Stone. It was easy to tell if an Evolution Stone was a fake; respected pokégirls could often tell by weight, density, shine, and a host of other methods.
One thing real stones didn’t do was have a different color if scratched, or leave paint under the nails.
“...I’m going to start hitting you now, Britanny,” Sheila said in an oddly calm voice. “And I don’t know when I might stop.”
That made the taller pokégirl blink her eyes once, twice. “How come?” Britanny asked. “I kept the receipt if they’re run down. I was told they were slightly used.”
“More milk, please!” Ranma called out, licking the plate the tuna had been on.
Taking a deep breath, Sheila replied, “Fine! First thing tomorrow, you and I are heading BACK to Pewtit City!”
“What? WHY!?” Britanny asked. “And why both of us?”
“Because...” Sheila said slowly before taking a deep breath. “I DON’T TRUST YOU TO GET MY REFUND FOR PAPER-WEIGHTS!” She screamed at the top of her lungs in the Fighting/Steel-type’s face.
Fur more than a little ruffled, Britanny blinked her eyes once, twice. “Paper-weights?”
“YES!” Sheila yelled. “That’s why I said Pewtit! Fewtit is a tourist trap!”
“...So the pie has real cream on top?” Ranma asked the Taverngirl... who was currently leaning into her back and was whispering the desert menu into her ear.
“Well, why didn’t you warn me?” Britanny asked. “See, this is partially your fault. You should have written this down.”
The Shaguar twitched once, twice, thrice. “I DID!” Sheila yelled, holding up a dusty folded piece of paper that had a chibi-Brit drawn on it with an even larger tuna fish before it, little lines showing it either was supposed to be freshly cooked or very stinky.
“.......Oooooooh...” the Cheetit finally replied after a long pause. “Well... um... that explains that, doesn’t it?” She chuckled nervously as she looked at the petite Shaguar. “No problem then! Ranma and I will escort you—”
“Wait,” Sheila spoke up. “Ranma? Why would she need to escort me when this is your mess?” she demanded to know while the Taverngirl continued to whisper sweet nothings of dessert innuendos into the Tigress’ ear.
“...It’s partially her fault too...” Britanny tried miserably. “She was in the middle of nowhere stark naked when I found her, complete basket case—you’d think she signed up for a Level 4 Taming Cycle or something. All she remembered was her name and believed she was a guy!”
Once more, the ring-patterned pokégirl raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Uh-huh,” Sheila muttered, clearly not buying the Cheetit’s excuse. Really? That was the best story she could come up with? “And where did you find her?”
The Cheetit was quick to answer, “Buggy Woods.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, Sheila inquired, “Before or after you bought this junk?”
“Aft—I mean, before,” Britanny spoke quickly, trying to appear innocent as a newborn Angel.
Ranma continued to debate the desert options, wondering why the Taverngirl had just giggled lightly when Ranma had asked what all those toppings the waitress was mentioning, were supposed to be on.
“Ri~iiiiiight...” Sheila said, still staring harshly at the Cheetit.
Sweating bullets under the scrutiny of her friend’s gaze, Britanny balked, “I’m serious! Ask her anything a normal pokégirl would know! She won’t be able to answer!”
“Fine,” the petite feline pokégirl replied, turning towards the Tigress. “Hey! Ranma, was it?”
The ring-pattered Cat-type calling to her managed to force the pigtailed Tigress’ attention from the smiling and giggling Taverngirl. “Wuh? Oh? Yes?”
“What are PokéBalls?” Sheila asked firmly.
“Oh?” the pigtailed martial artist of a pokégirl considered what Joy had shown her the night prior. “They were those little red and white round things that saved pokégirls from extinction when the Great Disaster hit, right?”
Sheila turned towards Britanny.
“...Oh, come on!” the ponytailed Cheetit cried. "She didn't know even that when I found her! Ask her another—Ranma,” the pokégirl started suddenly, switching gears. “Why is the table covered with empty plates?” Britanny asked, her mind having caught the now-fading scent of freshly grilled tuna.
“Candy hasn’t had time yet to take them back,” Ranma replied. “She’s trying to help me decide on desert.”
Shaking her head, the Shaguar tried, “Brit, we were—”
“Hold on, Sheila; this is important,” Britanny cut her friend off. “Ranma, where’s my tuna?”
Ranma just blinked. “I think they’re holding it until you sit down, keeping it warm.”
Candy the Taverngirl said nothing. If she said nothing, maybe when the Cheetit tried to kill the Tigress, she could convince the red-furred hottie to hide out in her room... under the covers.
Britanny glared at the Tigress. “Now Ranma, just because you know nothing doesn’t mean you can go eating all the food you want. This is a restaurant! We have to pay for food; do you have any money for all this?”
“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Sheila grumbled.
Twitching at the biting comment from the Shaguar, the Cheetit kept her attention on the striped feline. “Well?”
Ranma was about to open her mouth to say something when Candy leaned in and whispered into her ear again. The Tigress blinked her eyes once, twice. She turned to look over her shoulder at the Taverngirl. “Really? Having dessert actually pays for the meal?”
Candy just nodded, whispering into the sexy catgirl’s ear about where to go to pick up this dessert.
“Can I get that in writing?” Britanny asked, quickly grabbing the now crumpled drawing from Sheila and looking for a pen. Far be it from her not to maliciously take advantage of the offer. Sure, she was basically whoring Ranma out...
But Ranma was a treasure best shared with the world, and she was not doing this simply to fill her empty tummy. Really!
Watching as Britanny had Candy writing out an I.O.U. for one free dinner in return for a night with Ranma, Sheila stared at the Cheetit, her ears flattening back. “You are SUCH a bitch.”
“HEY!” Jetta snapped from the pool table. “Don't call her that! It’s an insult to Canine-types everywhere to be lumped with that leech!"
“...Don’t you have some late-teen emo to go grope?” Sheila asked.
Jetta just shrugged. “Nah, she’s working at the bookstore until seven.”
Twitching, Sheila turned, snatching the paper from the Cheetit.
“Hey! Gimme!” Britanny cried. “I earned that fair and square!”
“No, you got several pieces of painted rock. This is mine until you get me the Evolution Stones I sent you for!” Sheila growled.
Considering that for a moment, Ranma turned her attention to the two bickering pokégirls. “Uh... excuse me... Sheila?”
Blinking her eyes at hearing her name called, the Shaguar turned to the striped feline pokégirl. “Yes, Ranma?”
“If it’s okay... may I go with both of you?” she asked curiously. “I’d like to see more of this place and... well... Britanny’s the only friend I got.”
“...Sure...” Sheila said after a moment of thought. “You can come with us.” After all, it was a horrible thought, having only Britanny as a friend. Surely, she couldn’t leave this poor Tigress in such a lurch! She wasn’t inhuman like a Tamer!
“Well, time for dessert,” Candy huskily spoke, barely restraining herself from nibbling on her new interest.
One more sex act with a customer for the restaurant, and she’d be docked the pay needed to get those stains out of the carpet. “This way, Miss.”
Flinching at being reminded of her currently permanent gender, Ranma stood up, barely keeping a hand at her mouth to prevent openly belching. “Okay; but who’s gonna bring Britanny her meal?”
“One of the other waitresses will help them,” Candy spoke sensually.
“Ah, okay...” Ranma said as the Taverngirl led her away. “I look forward to some dessert!”
Watching the striped Cat-type head upstairs, Sheila turned to look at the Cheetit. “Either she truly is clueless... or that Tigress REALLY gets off on the ‘innocent virgin’ act.”
“I know, right?” Britanny asked in agreement. Shrugging once more to loosen her muscles, Britanny took her seat, as a new Taverngirl came up to her.
“At least the bitch took her upstairs instead of just going down on her at the register,” the pokégirl spoke, before turning to the Cheetit. “What can I get for you? It’ll be on Candy’s tab, so make it expensive.”
Squealing in joy and taking a moment to mentally thank Ranma, Britanny knew what she wanted. “Bring me tuna!”
“Sorry, she ate the lot we had,” the Taverngirl replied.
“…I hope that tramp gets fleas,” Britanny growled.
Jetta snorted, trying to stifle her chuckle. “I think I’m liking ‘Stripes’ already.”
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(Posted Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:21)
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