"Why, praytell, have you called me to this place?" Ayeka demanded. Kiyone glanced over at her and arched an eyebrow. "This place" was the apartment she shared with Mihoshi.
"You and I have to have a talk," Kiyone said, collecting a tray of snacks and heading out to join her friend in the living room.
"About what?" Ayeka demanded. "Make yourself plain?"
"You and Ryoko have come to an arrangement, soon," Kiyone said.
"What sort of arrangement should I come to with that..." Ayeka paused, flicking her dress with unnecessary force and straightening her back. "...monster woman."
"Just mention her name and you get excited," Kiyone said, shaking her head.
"Excuse me!?!!" Ayeka gasped, standing straight up. "Are you suggesting that I...and that....thing...have...a RELATIONSHIP?!!!"
"For goodness sake, I just said 'excited!'" Kiyone said irritably. "Sit down and hear me out."
"You had better begin to make sense, Officer Makibi," Ayeka said harshly.
"Let me give you a rundown of a rather common sequence of events," Kiyone said. "Ryoko teases you, you overreact and insult her, she insults you, there's a fight, lots of fireworks. I...I...I..." each repeat of the word was more emphatic. "Have to..." Kiyone held up her hand and started ticking off fingers. "Clean up the mess, deal with the locals, deal with the MIB," she paused and started a small side rant.
"Are you aware that aliens and supernatural beings have been in Japan long enough that more than NINETY percent of the population is IMMUNE to neuralization? This is a statistic that I am given roughly THREE TIMES A WEEK!!! It's almost as bad as San Francisco!! Or even ATLANTA!!! Which brings up the trigger happy cat-girl and her sisters that came by yesteday. Anyway...THEN I have to deal with my superiors, and FINALLY deal with your parents! This has been happening nearly twice a week in the two or three years since we came here. To top it all off, your fights attract more galatic criminals than anything else I can imagine, and that's when TENCHI gets involved."
Kiyone's voice started to raise to levels she usually reserved for Mihoshi, and Ayeka blinked as she leaned back, slightly nervous.
"I swear, being stationed near the three of you would make being partnered with Mihoshi look like the assignment from heaven if it weren't for the fact that SHE'S here too!!!"
"And what about Washu?" Ayeka asked faintly.
"She works in a sub-dimension," Kiyone says. "Barring Mihoshi incidents she has less impact on the world at large than a salami sandwich." Actually that made her nervous, she was certain Washu would eventually get bored and try something big.
"And why," Ayeka asked. "Isn't Ryoko here?"
"Because the problem isn't with her," Kiyone said. "The problem is with you."
"And how is that?" Ayeka asked. "Should I just abandon my claim on Lord Tenchi and give her an open passage?"
"Tenchi," Kiyone said. "Will have two wives once he takes the throne, assuming he takes the throne. So there is no need to abandon your claim on him. Tenchi can't decide between you because he loves you both. Ryoko wouldn't mind sharing, would actually appreciate it, but isn't about to give up."
"How would Ryoko appreciate, 'sharing' as you put it?" Ayeka asked.
"You have her wrapped around your finger as surely as Tenchi does," Kiyone said. "And are just as aware of it."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ayeka said, putting her nose in the air.
"Exactly," Kiyone said. "I can't count the number of times I could swear you made a pass at her. Then you shoot her down when she responds. And it's worse when you're both drunk. She gets emotional and you get mean. Do you even remember how many times you've brought her to tears during those drinking binges in the baths?"
"Binge?" Ayeka protested, not answering the question.
"I don't binge."
"Right," Kiyone said. "Now the way I see it, you either truly have desire toward her at all and are just insanely cruel for the fun of it," Kiyone thought that doubtful. "Or else you are so uncomfortable with the thought that you'd rather sabotage any conversation you have Ryoko than risk proving it to yourself."
"I am not attracted to Ryoko," Ayeka snapped. "Or any woman! It is untoward in a Jurain princess." At that Kiyone fixed her with a look.
"Your mother and Lady Funaho," Kiyone said simply.
"How dare you suggest such a thing," Kiyone gasped.
"Since they admitted it, and told me you walked in on them once," Kiyone said.
"It is a dreadful lie," Ayeka said. "I'll hear no more of it."
"Fine, fine," Kiyone said. "Whatever. In any case, straight, bi, lesbian, whatever. You don't have to have sex with Ryoko for her to be the other wife."
Ayeka blinked as if she had never considered that before. "But telling her you have no interest would at least be fair. Not to mention stop leading her on."
"I am not leading her on," Ayeka protested again.
"Whatever," Kiyone said waving that off. "Incidentally, I'd say she'd be a better First Empress than Second."
"And why is that?" Ayeka demanded.
"Take a moment to consider Ryoko's idea of covert," Kiyone said. The image of a sevveral large explosions came to mind. "Do you really think she'd make a good Head of Security? Head of the Military should suit her fine."
"True," Ayeka admitted. "She is much better at brute force, isn't she." Kiyone leaned forward.
"That is at least concession in the right direction," Kiyone said. "Now, on to my plan for the night."
"Your plan?" Ayeka repeated.
"Right," Kiyone said. "Mihoshi is out on patrols, I'm off duty, and Minagi is coming down to visit..."
"Yes, two days from now," Ayeka said. Kiyone smirked and raised a finger.
"That, is what she told everybody else," Kiyone said.
Ayeka's mouth dropped open.
"You said you weren't interested in women!" Ayeka accused.
"Did I?" Kiyone asked. "I don't remember that."
"You," Ayeka growled. "But Minagi...?" She looked confused.
"Looks like Ryoko, and isn't in love with you and Tenchi," Kiyone said. "And as easy as it is to play with Ryoko's heart strings...I don't feel like becoming the fourth of a quartet."
"You're with Minagi because she looks like Ryoko?" Ayeka said, narrowing her eyes.
"Well, at first yeah," Kiyone admitted. "But she's got a lot of other great....and that's really not your business so, now, on to my plan..."
"I'm not interested," Ayeka said, putting her nose in the air, and failing to push the vulnerability Kiyone had displayed.
"Then why aren't you leaving?" Kiyone asked. Ayeka flashed her eyes in Kiyone's direction. "So, anyway, I'm taking Minagi dancing tonight, in about thirty minutes. We're going to a club, and you're coming with us. At the very least, you can learn how to turn down offers without insulting smeone's age, species, intelligence, personality, parentage, strengths, weaknesses, social status, children (not a favorite one of mine either of late) or hair-color." As Kiyone ticked off points Ayeka winced. "Did I catch them all?"
"Finances?" Ayeka said weakly.
"Oh yes," Kiyone said. "Financial status, another no-no when politely turning someone down so that they don't feel quite hurt and confused and decide to retaliate by starting a fight that destroys Tokyo Tower."
"That was only our fault three times," Ayeka protested. She took a moment to catch her breath. "So you hope to teach me to treat that...." Kiyone gave her a look. "Treat Ryoko a little more politely."
"At least," Kiyone said. ~If I'm really lucky you'll get laid, but how lucky am I ever.~
Speaking of which, there was a flaw in her master plan here, she knew it, but she couldn't quite lay hold of it. Then the doorbell rang, and Kiyone walked over to the door and opened it to let Minagi in. The youngest Hakubi greeted Kiyone with a passionate kiss driving her back into the apartment and shutting the door behind them.
Until she caught sight of Ayeka's disapproving face.
"Oh don't stop now," Kiyone muttered as Minagi broke off.
"Uh, Kiyo-chan," Minagi asked faintly.
"Hmmm?" Kiyone asked dreaminly, kissing at Minagi's neck.
"What's Aunty Ayeka doing here?" Minagi asked.
"She's going dancing with us," Kiyone answered. "Sort of a lesson in tolerance for her."
"Won't she tell Ryoko?" Minagi whispered, hopefully low enough that Ayeka couldn't hear.
Kiyone froze.
Yep, there was that flaw in the plan. Kiyone glanced over to Ayeka, where the princess was sitting with her eyes averted.
~Just have to make sure she stays too busy,~ Kiyone thought, breaking fully away from Minagi who took a sort of attention stance. "Okay, we have to get ready now. Ayeka, you need to change clothes. Something more normal to Earth, I have some stuff that should fit you in my room."
"Obviously it has been your plan all along to see me in revealing clothing," Ayeka accused the both of them. So saying she strolled defiantly into Kiyone's room to change clothes.
As soon as Ayeka was gone Minagi hit Kiyone upside the head. Kiyone flashed a "what" shrug in her direction, and Minagi gestured irritably toward the room Ayeka had just walked into. This was followed by the patented, "seemed like a good idea at the time" shrug and the "great, now what" eye rolling.
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(Posted Wed, 10 Jan 2007 04:48)
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