As he flew through the air (courtesy of a ambush and Happosai's pipe), Ranma realized the main reason he never went ahead and killed himself. His poetry sucked. His poetry sucked so much Nabiki suggested Ranma sign it Nina Hartley. As he neared the ground, Ranma again vowed to never learn who Miss Hartley was, as he had no doubt he'd have to hurt Nabiki once he knew and preferred to not have to do that. He was sentimental that way.
Upon landing, Ranma saw something he never thought to see again. The wishing sword was embedded in a torii, so those passing under could try their luck pulling on it. Moreover, Tatewaki Kuno and Nabiki Tendo were receiving funds from people for the right to tug at it! Ranma charged up. "What in the name of Kami are you two doing? Magic is nothing but trouble!"
Tatewaki babbled about how "..magic is not magic with a righteous samurai, only being magic when used by foul--" before Ranma belted him a good mile and a half away. Have a nice trip, asshole, consider it a gift from Frequent Flier Boy!
Nabiki said, "I would have stopped short, so Kuno nearly killed himself. You think I want him with more wishes?"
Ranma snarled coarse expletives before muttering "Then someone you want even less to have one would have been the millionth to try! Don't you get it? Magic is too much for just anyone to handle, and it always wants to happen to people!" just loud enough she would hear.
"Yeah, right! Read the sign, I was going to give away a few thousand Yen and get the sword handed to me in exchange!" Nabiki was indignant.
Ranma howled like a wolf at the moon. "Dammit, Nabiki, that wouldn't matter at all! The wishes can only be handed over knowingly! The damned sword said so! Ranma stomped over and yanked on the sword for emphasis. He didn't so much as twitch as it slid out cleanly. "Not to mention that others would have tried to get the blade out of the Torii before your people found it."
Nabiki's reply was interrupted by the sudden and inexplicable convergence of the entire Wrecking Crew on the site. Between the angered murder attempts of Mouuse and Ryouga, Kuno's trying to order the sword to slay the foul sorcerer, Genma and Soun trying to tell Ranma what to wish for (in short, wishing for them), and the various girls demanding he wish for them to be his and he theirs, Ranma was rapidly losing his cool.
After dodging a Chestnut attack from Cologne's suspiciously frothy hands, Ranma literally detonated the air around him from his sheer aura of outrage. It didn't resemble Dragonball, more his being the source point for a fuel-air explosion.
"ENOUGH!" Ranma's bellowed command caught them all flatfooted. He glared at those who had forced their way into his life. "Don't any of you clowns get a clue? All picking any of those would do is make the rest of you want to kill me! All this is is another crazy events turning our lives into ruin, and you want to egg it on!Why do you people always DO this? I just, I wish, I wish, I wish that I could learn, that you could all see why all this shit happens, just to know what it feels like! I just wanna feel that at least once in my life!"
The analytical voice of the Wishbringer Sword was the next sound heard.
#Working.#
#Working..#
#Working#
#Wishes Granted. Removing unit from locale entirely to prevent further abuse.# As the Sword faded out like a movie effect, it sent the final message #Sweet Dreams.#
As everyone else spluttered, Nabiki shrugged without a single worry showing. "Seems you had a point. Nice way to minimize the damage, Saotome."
Ranma shrugged and started to roof hop as the others face-faulted. "I'm not too sure we're out of the woods yet, but at least it's only one wish. I'm gonna hide out for a few days!"
That Night:
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(Posted Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:55)
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