The day had not been kind to Soun Tendo.
It had started fine, with Kasumi asking him to pick up some groceries while she went to see what was wrong with wRanma. That had gone well, and the change of pace was nice, although he wasn't sure he believed the beans that guy had sold him really were magic. It had gotten a bit worse as he was headed home - his old pal Genma crashed into him as he was dashing down the street, muttering something about "eviction."
"Genma! Watch out! You almost broke the bottle of cooking oil I got for Kasumi!" said Soun as he picked up the bottle of Quaker State.
"Ahaha, yes, and I wouldn't want that! She wouldn't be able to make, uh, something, when I get back from the training trip I'm leaving on because I need training and not because something bad happened to Kasumi, Akane, and Nabiki so you'll be angry when you get back and see an empty house because Ranma and I have left on a trip only the house won't be empty because Kasumi, Akane and Nabiki will be there because they're fine!" And with that, Genma left.
"Well, I'm glad they're fine. Where's Ranma? Ah, I guess he went out ahead."
Still, his haste worried Soun - not to mention the fact that Genma rarely spoke long sentences if he thought he could avoid it. His unease increased gradually as he entered the grounds, and increased quadratically when he heard Akane and Ranma having an argument in the living room.
"Hey, I'm just having a bad day, all right? I had to put up with a terrible void, a talking sword, a giant angel, and a funny lady taking away my magic tattoo, and now I've got cards yelling at me!"
"You think you're having a bad day? I cant even talk or move when someone's looking at me!"
"Why would anyone look at you?"
Soun's braced himself for the inevitable SMASH that followed such an exchange. However, no such SMASHing occurred while he finished putting away the groceries. His nervousness increased exponentially while he waited for the other foot to drop.
His panic plateaued for a bit when he entered the living room and found Ranma reading an instruction manual with a deck of cards on the table. "Hello, Ranma. Has Akane calmed down?"
"Nah," said Ranma absent-mindedly, "I just put her back in the deck until I could figure out a way to change them back."
Mere computable functions were incapable of increasing fast enough to follow Soun's anxiety. "Change who back, from what?"
Ranma's head snapped up, clearly in a sudden panic himself. Apparently he hadn't been paying attention when he spoke earlier, and had just realized the implications of what he said.
"She - Akane - turned - uh, and your other daughters, too, I guess they also counted - they turned, uh, turned into those playing cards on the table, there..."
Soun's fear, anger, and confusion were computable again, a nice, constant "maximum."
"Ranma! We will play this game until each of my daughters has had this curse lifted! How do we do it - do they need to win to get out of it or what?"
"Hey, I don't even know if that's how you - I mean, maybe..."
"Now! Deal us our hands."
"Okay, okay, but you're supposed to have your own deck for this. We can play a half game. I'll go first," said Ranma as he shuffled and split the deck. "Draw a hand of seven cards."
Soun's anxiety fell to normal levels - or, at least, normal for him. By an incredible coincidence, this level was exactly the same as the normal anxiety level for a squirrel in a washing machine on "Spin." It would've been higher, but he was trying to figure out what the cards in his hand meant.
"What's going on here? And how do I know that this will fix the curse? Will it fix the curse?" wondered Soun.
"Okay, now we each go through our deck and pick out three Person cards to be the fiancés. The winner is the first one to get each of the other player's fiancés into one of the Couple cards with one of your Person cards. Darn it, this game is girly. I think that's it. Okay, if you're right, we'll want your daughters to be in the fiancés set, I think." Ranma and Soun searched through their decks. "Hey, they're all in my half," says Ranma. He puts all three Tendo daughter cards out.
Soun didn't care about anything but the safety of his daughters, so once they were found, he just picked the next three Person cards he found and laid them out.
Tatewaki Kuno, Shampoo, and Hikaru Gosunkugi.
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(Posted Sat, 20 Jan 2007 00:43)
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