“So, what do we do next?” Usagi asked.
“Disappear into the mountains to train,” Ranma suggested hopefully.
“That’s your answer to everything!” Rei protested.
“Is not!” Ranma glared.
“I said the water was too hot in the shower and you suggested we go into the mountains to train,” Ami pointed out.
Ranma shrugged. “The waters always cooler in the mountains and bathing in fresh snow melt makes you appreciate indoor plumbing.”
“I said the food from the cafeteria was too bland and you suggested we go into the mountains to train,” Mokoto pointed out.
Ranma nodded. “Food tastes better in the mountains and you can cook what you want.”
Usagi raised an eyebrow and fired off what she was sure would be the telling point of this argument, “I said we needed to practice using our powers away from people so they wouldn’t get hurt and you suggested we go into the mountains to train!”
Crickets could be heard chirping in the background while everyone face-faulted.
“Shut up, Meatball head!” Rei yelled.
“Ranma Saotome,” read the secret journal of Professor Tomoe, “is a human tornado. Even before gaining power over air, he was a walking disaster area. His operating system appears to run on only two commands: ‘open mouth’ and ‘insert foot’. He has an amazing talent for sweeping women off their feet one moment, then rubbing them the wrong way the next.”
“Ranma’s exposure to the Dark Energy of subspace appears to have granted him power over air. The mechanism by which this is possible is yet to be determined, yet the observable results are quite irrefutable. He can apparently sense and produce changes in air pressure, thereby induce or inhibit air currents of enormous windspeeds even in closed spaces. He also appears capable of sensing changes in the content of the atmosphere around him, and somehow seperating out unwanted gaseous and particulate components. Tests have confirmed at he can utilise this ability even in his sleep due to his insane training.”
“Hey, old man,” ‘someone’ had scrawled in the margin, “if ya try that again it’s kapowie time, ya hear. I swear, pow, straight to da moon.”
“Ranma appears capable of levitating himself on micro-vortices,” the (apparently not-so-) secret journal continued. “Although he can fly by ‘riding the wind’ in this manner, he can also, and seems to prefer to, ‘run with the wind’; augmenting his already phenomenal speed. Not to mention what a little jet assist can do for his already impressive jumps.”
“He remains incapable of outrunning trouble caused when he opens his mouth. This propensity made me dispair of his association with my daughter and her friends, but since the attempted kidnapping his knowledge of wierd martial arts may actually prove useful for a change.”
“Beautiful Laser!” Minako announced joyously. A pencil thin beam of light lanced out from her index finger and stabbed through the head of ninja-garbed figure. The head naturally burst into flaming splinters of wood. Minako brought her fingers to her lips and blew across the tip. “Take that, Amiga!”
“That’s ‘amigo,’” Ranma critiqued. “Okay, Mina-chan’s ranged attack is high precision and she’s watched too many westerns. Rei-chan, you’re up next.”
“Sniper Fire!” Rei declared hotly. A bolt of plasma ignited from her palm and streamed across the field to incinerate another training dummy.
“Not quite as accurate as Mina-chan’s and subject to distortions in high winds,” Ranma noted (and privately decided to keep that in mind for when the girl’s temper next got the better of her), “but the intensity is higher. Alright, Ami-chan, let’s see what you’ve got.”
After Ami’s spray of cold encased her block of wood in a block of ice, and Makoto shattered her target, and a good deal of innocent foliage, with a bolt of lighning, Hotaru stepped up.
“Uhm, Hota-chan, you don’t have a…,” Ranma began.
The cyborg interupted with a, “Go Go Rocket Punch Suprise!”
“… Oookay,” Ranma drawled after recovering, “just when did your father install that feature?”
“After the kidnapping attempt,” Hotaru said, and winched the cable back into her forearm. “He wanted to put in breast missiles and butt machineguns too but I said, ‘no way,’ so he’s working on a beam weapon instead.”
“Uh, right,” Ranma commented. “Anyway, that’s about it except for… Fierce Jetstream Blast!” A training dummy was knocked off it’s pole and thudded into the tree behind it. “So we’ve all got a ranged attack against a single target, though some of us need to work on aim or narrowing down the spray, without mentioning any names, like Makoto and Ami. Minako and Rei have the greatest range for snipping attacks, and we’ll have Rei try a strafing attack while she’s flying, latter. Now, moving on to area effects…”
“Hey, what about me!” Usagi complained.
“Usa-chan, you heal people,” Ranma reminded her gently, “and since that won’t knock an enemy out it’s totally useless.” Gently for him, that is.
“Ranma, you jerk!” Usagi wailed.
“Ack! Look, we’ll try you out with a throwing weapon latter, okay? Maybe a dagger or some sort of boomerang…”
“Hey, if Usagi can heal from a distance while we're fighting,” Rei reasoned, “that would be real handy.”
Ranma rubbed his chin thoughfully, then slammed his fist into his other hand. “Yeeeah… that’s what I meant. It’s useless as an attack, but if she could from cover that’d be plenty useful.”
“Hey, I don’t need to hide behind cover,” Usagi protested. “I can recover from anything!”
“Any damage, yeah,” Ranma agreed, and somehow managed to keep from mentioning how likely he thought she would stand up under fire. “Look, I meant if you’re pinned down by a net, or gassed, or something that takes out a pretty important asset, ya know. We can still get hurt and these cyborg yakuza use live ammunition instead of harmless darts or arrows.”
‘Harmless darts or arrows?’ several girls mouthed.
“Uhm… ’sides, thanks to all the press coverage,” Ranma continued blithely, “they know you can patch us back up quick so they will try to take you down first any way they can. Plus, some of us can fly and you can’t, so yeah, a ranged healling would be good to have.”
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(Posted Sun, 04 Feb 2007 08:40)
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