Ranma’s rapid acclimatization to his new telepathic abilities was quite fortunate for several reasons. First of all, it meant that he would likely keep most of his sanity (or at least what passed for sanity in Nerima). Second, and almost as important, was that he would eventually be able to block out the musings of Kodachi Kuno, with relative ease. Well, he was pretty sure that was what Cologne had meant, anyway.
Speaking of Kodachi, the eccentric young woman was currently in her room, pondering the best way to deal with the newly discovered information concerning the redheaded harridan. She had to admit, the latest scheme of her nemesis was quite ingenious: she had cursed Ranma-sama to change sexes when he came into contact with cold water. Of course, this in and of itself was not too problematic, because this change was temporary, and could be reversed with the application of hot water. No, what made this curse particularly devious was the fact that the girl Ranma turned into had the visage of the horrendous harridan herself.
Fortunately, Ranma-sama seemed willing to forgive all of the times she’d attacked his female form in cases of mistaken identity, provided that she drastically reduce the number of times this happened in the future. Kodachi knew, of course, that Ranma firmly believed that he and the harridan were the same person, but that was preposterous. After all, if Ranma really did possess the redhead’s magical faculties, he obviously would have used them to drive away all of his lesser suitors by now.
Meanwhile, at the Tendo’s dinner table, Ranma tried his best to keep from rolling his eyes as Kodachi attempted to warp the facts to fit her preordained conclusion yet again.
In any case, Kasumi had a more pressing concern to deal with: how to tell the difference between the redhead and her Ranma-sama. At first, the solution seemed obvious: she would simply splash the girl in question with hot water, and see whether or not she changed form. This, however, had several drawbacks. First of all, hot water was not always available, nor was it easily transportable, as it had a rather annoying tendency to lose its temperature over time, and thus could not easily be kept on her person; even with vacuum flasks and the like, she wouldn’t be able to carry large quantities with her. Second, and more troubling, was the fact that Ranma’s curse had apparently been “locked” on several occasions in the past, trapping him in his female form. This, in turn, meant that even if a suspicious redhead did not change form after being splashed with hot water, that in itself did not mean said redhead could not be her beloved Ranma-sama. And the more she thought about it, the more Kodachi realized that this “locking” business was just the sort of underhanded thing the harridan would do to drive him away from her.
Who knew curses could be so complicated? Indeed, Kodachi was still puzzling over the mechanics of aquatransexuality; considering the simplicity inherent in its trigger, the implications were quite complex. It was then that an odd thought came to her mind. If cold water makes Ranma-sama a girl, and hot water changes him back, what does lukewarm water do? Images of a hermaphroditic redhead floated into her mind. Hmm… odd, to say the least, but it still could be quite entertaining….
Please, Kodachi, I’m tryin’ ta eat here.
Kodachi abruptly sat up as she remembered that Ranma could “see” her imagination in the same way that he could “hear” her thoughts. Oh… I’m sorry to intrude upon your meal. It should have surprised her that Ranma would not appreciate an image such as that. After all, sex was one of the three subjects generally considered impolite to talk about while eating. Well, unless a very specific set of circumstances was in place….
Still eatin’ here.
I apologize.
And for yer information, gettin’ hit with lukewarm water don’t do nuthin’ ta me.
I see. Oh, well. It’s not like I was particularly interested in that particular fantasy, anyway. And after all, there are still plenty of other ways in which Ranma-sama’s misfortune might prove entertaining—
I. Am. Eating!
Ukyo could only hear Ranma’s half of this conversation, and therefore didn’t know precisely what was bothering her fiancé. This, however, suited her just fine — delving into the inner workings of Kodachi’s psyche wasn’t very high on her “to do” list; if anything, it was on her “to not do, ever, even if offered ¥1 billion in return” list. Besides, she was busy at the moment serving her customers; after all, she had to make up for the hour or so that Ucchan’s had been closed that afternoon.
In much the same way that Ranma had found it easy to focus on his kata and ignore the links in his mind, Ukyo was accomplishing the same feat almost as well through as she went about running her restaurant. This actually wasn’t that surprising. After all, for Ukyo, running a busy okonomiyaki joint wasn’t just an integral part of her Art, it was her Art in its totality: the fighting style that went with it was designed primarily to fend off thieves and robbers. Had her ancestors originally hailed from this specific area of Japan, her style might well have been called the Okonomiyaki School of Martial Arts Restaurant Management.
Still, she didn’t quite take her Art to the same level as Ranma, and as a result, a few scattered comments seeped through.
Man, this is delicious…. Way better than anythin’ Akane makes…. What? It’s true! Are ya tryin’ ta say yer better than Kasumi?… Don’t ask me that, please…. ’Cuz ya ain’t gonna like the answer, that’s why… Not even if I was starvin’…. Ow…. Why’d she go an’ do that? She asked a question, an’ I answered it…. She ain’t that bad, Shampoo…. Uh-oh. Wayward chopsticks, 3 o’clock…. Ha! Try an’ beat me at gettin’ seconds, will he? I don’t think so…. For the love of all that’s good, please do not go there, Kodachi…. Hot dang, this food is good…. Kasumi’s the best cook ever….
This last comment bruised Ukyo’s ego slightly, but she’d sampled Kasumi’s cooking multiple times before, and she had to admit that the eldest Tendo sister was a much better chef than her — except when the food being prepared was okonomiyaki, of course. Still, from her perspective, this wasn’t the type of thing worth bothering Ranchan over; he already had enough things to worry about on his mind (literally). So, she took the most logical course of action, which was to continue serving her customers.
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(Posted Sun, 11 Feb 2007 07:32)
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